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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

7 long years....I need to b done! Please any help is greatly appreciated!

<3<3<3<3<3

Im so sorry to hear that.

Please don't beat yourself up. Your an amazing person and your doing an amazing job. Addiction is a very tough battle and your doing great.

Addiction comes with many aspects of addict thinking. When someone that we love dies from an OD the desire to use and relapses are very common.

With addiction it really is an "all drains lead to the sea." That addicted part of the brain is trying to drive use and it will use anything it can latch onto.

You had a bad day.. anger and resentment.. solution use
You had a mediocre day.. boring.. solution use
You had an unbelievable day.. let make it even better... use

A person you loved<3 passed away from an OD.. heartache.. use

Every argument in our mind that ends with any real temptation or contemplation of use should be journaled and re examined.

Two very common ones are

I cant believe the depths this made me I sink to. I can't handle the way i behaved when i was all fucked up. I cant deal with who i was before i cleaned up. I can't believe how many people i hurt when i was on that run. yeah fuck this i lost what's the point this is hopeless. I want to use. Using will fix this. Fuck it im going to use.

So often you hear people say that a person they ran with or someone they loved has died from an overdose. They say i can't believe it X is dead.. they were using and OD Then they say I cant handle, i can't take this shit its too awful I want to use.. yeah fuck this im going to use.

If we replace use with hitting oneself in the head with a hammer it may give us a clearer picture of possible errors in the thinking.

I cant believe the depths hitting myself in the head with a hammer made me I sink to. I can't handle the way i behaved when i was hitting myself in the head with a hammer. I cant deal with who i was when i was hitting myself in the head with a hammer. I can't believe how many people i hurt when i was hitting myself in the head with a hammer. yeah fuck this i lost what's the point this hopeless. I want to hit myself in the head with a hammer. Hitting myself in the head with a hammer will fix hitting myself in the head with a hammer. Fuck it im going to hit myself in the head with a hammer.

I can't believe X is dead.. they were out hitting themselves in the head with a hammer and hit to hard. I can't take this shit its too awful i want to hit myself in the head with a hammer.. yeah fuck this im going to hit myself in the head with a hammer.




If you're doing the listening in the debate raging in your own mind then you're not doing the thinking ;)

NSFW:
if you read that and heard a little voice cry what a load of crap in your own mind.. remember that little voice is what compelled you to hit your self in the head with a hammer





Again B2621 I'm very sorry for your loss and hope you find a degree of closure and peace.
 
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Thx NSA, Really think it is time to reevaluate my unlogical thinking. I know my brother and if what happened to him saves 1 person, he'll b smiling in heaven. I wanna make him smile ?
 
I am so sorry about your brother. I know the one person he would want to save is you. Take good care of yourself. Grief comes out in unexpected ways under the best of circumstances but having to deal with this while you are in your own struggle to quit is going to be intense on a whole other level. Take good care of yourself.<3
 
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