steewith2ees
Bluelight Crew
My life has become fairly miserable in the last couple of years following the breakdown of my relationship, having to quit my job to care for my mother full time, and my inevitable relapse into heroin addiction My friends, who ive always supported and stood by in any way I can, have all given up on me, but as selfish as they have been i am guilty of discouaraging their presence, as my mother is suffering from alcholic dementia and due to her childish, venemous and occcasionally violent behaviour, my dad and I can no longer recieve guests at our home. Her drinking is now under control but only because my dad controls her intake if they go out anywhere, and we dont keep any alcohol in the house. She has no insight into her alchol dependancy, she has no ability to live independently, relying on my dad and myself to support her inevery aspect of her life.
As I bring no significant money into the house (my dad gets 30 pounds a fortnight to cover food which i never eat - since i started my methadone i never have any appitite, eating at the most 4 proper meals a week). This doesnt however stop me cooking and preparing food - my dad and I take it turns produce a lunch and evening meal every day, and while my dad has taken on the laundry role, the rest of the housework is my responsibility (including the ironing!). My mother still has a coulple of marbles left, enough to call me a junky at every given opportunity , whether at home or in public. This doesnt stop her from starting each day by dispatching me to the shop to get her cigarettes and newspaper as soon a shes awake, which neither my dad or myself are allowed to read without her throwing a temper tantrrum. This is her paper, usually paid for by either myself of my dad, and no one is allowed to touch it regardless of whether or not she is reading it at the time.
With this existence I have come to really appreciate the odd nice days i get every fortnight or so, simple pleasures involving my extensive blu-ray collection, from which I can get the maximum enjoyment out of - and as my dad and I are now essentially full time carers, he brought us a fantastic home cinema with a fantastic 3d tv, Dts 5.1 surround and a sky+hd box so we can keep on top of the superb HBO productions that will never get sold to netflix or similar services. Along with sporadic heroin sessions and my music, this equipment is my dad and I's only joint method to escape the misery of my mother. My parents own a reasonably large house so my mother has her own living room with her own LED tv and Sky+HD, which she uses exclusively for ITV. Whenever my dad and i try to watch a flick , shes straight in berating me for being a lazy junky who does nothing but watch films all the time.
The fact that she wakes up to a clean house every day, and that all of her needs are met by either my dad of myself is irrelevant. So thats my life in a nutshell, and while Im aware that alot of people have it much worse ,all I ask is that I have the occcasional nice day to keep me going. Next saturday looks lie a good prospect, but in order to make the most of it I could do with some encouaragement to get me there. This has been a long winded post, difficult to read, so Ill make a second to try and make my plans clear.
As I bring no significant money into the house (my dad gets 30 pounds a fortnight to cover food which i never eat - since i started my methadone i never have any appitite, eating at the most 4 proper meals a week). This doesnt however stop me cooking and preparing food - my dad and I take it turns produce a lunch and evening meal every day, and while my dad has taken on the laundry role, the rest of the housework is my responsibility (including the ironing!). My mother still has a coulple of marbles left, enough to call me a junky at every given opportunity , whether at home or in public. This doesnt stop her from starting each day by dispatching me to the shop to get her cigarettes and newspaper as soon a shes awake, which neither my dad or myself are allowed to read without her throwing a temper tantrrum. This is her paper, usually paid for by either myself of my dad, and no one is allowed to touch it regardless of whether or not she is reading it at the time.
With this existence I have come to really appreciate the odd nice days i get every fortnight or so, simple pleasures involving my extensive blu-ray collection, from which I can get the maximum enjoyment out of - and as my dad and I are now essentially full time carers, he brought us a fantastic home cinema with a fantastic 3d tv, Dts 5.1 surround and a sky+hd box so we can keep on top of the superb HBO productions that will never get sold to netflix or similar services. Along with sporadic heroin sessions and my music, this equipment is my dad and I's only joint method to escape the misery of my mother. My parents own a reasonably large house so my mother has her own living room with her own LED tv and Sky+HD, which she uses exclusively for ITV. Whenever my dad and i try to watch a flick , shes straight in berating me for being a lazy junky who does nothing but watch films all the time.
The fact that she wakes up to a clean house every day, and that all of her needs are met by either my dad of myself is irrelevant. So thats my life in a nutshell, and while Im aware that alot of people have it much worse ,all I ask is that I have the occcasional nice day to keep me going. Next saturday looks lie a good prospect, but in order to make the most of it I could do with some encouaragement to get me there. This has been a long winded post, difficult to read, so Ill make a second to try and make my plans clear.
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