I just wanted to post a giant Thank You to the bluelight darkside community for helping me get to this point. It has been one hell of a roller coaster ride and I am certain it is likely not over yet. On October 7th 2014 I quit using opiates after 6.5 years of being on because the depression and more so apathy had become so great that it was destroying my career, family, and unbeknownst to me my brain. My general health was down in the shitter slowly withering away in my solitude of "I'm better on than off". I was wrong.
When I quit I went from extreme pain (wd), to feeling like my own body was vibrating (like an amp turned up to 11), to refinding myself while missing 13 years of memories. Slowly over the last 6months I eventually got all those back with the maturity that comes along with them. I have had a full blown manic attack, full blown manic depression and spent a lot of time in hypomania which admittedly helps a lot. Shortly after quitting I redosed a couple of weeks in with a half as powerful shot and blacked out to the point my lips turned blue. I don't count that one.
Also shortly after quitting I ate an average of 6000 calories a day for a couple of months and gained 15lbs, shooting me from 235 to 250. I am 225 now because with quitting came a metric shitload of energy and the exercise does help. Also the terrible diarrhea didn't end till like two months ago.
I will say 5 out of 5, totally worth the upfront pain and first attempt that ended with an ER doc giving me oxycodone and diluaded to taper with (in September). It is hard, really hard, but I just had to keep reminding myself I will be better tomorrow. Typically this held true but I did have to use that line a few days in a row sometimes.
Bluelight community, you helped me through my lows when I needed it. I don't know if this will help anyone else, if it does the write up was worth it. If it doesn't I at least wanted to say thanks for being there.
When I quit I went from extreme pain (wd), to feeling like my own body was vibrating (like an amp turned up to 11), to refinding myself while missing 13 years of memories. Slowly over the last 6months I eventually got all those back with the maturity that comes along with them. I have had a full blown manic attack, full blown manic depression and spent a lot of time in hypomania which admittedly helps a lot. Shortly after quitting I redosed a couple of weeks in with a half as powerful shot and blacked out to the point my lips turned blue. I don't count that one.
Also shortly after quitting I ate an average of 6000 calories a day for a couple of months and gained 15lbs, shooting me from 235 to 250. I am 225 now because with quitting came a metric shitload of energy and the exercise does help. Also the terrible diarrhea didn't end till like two months ago.
I will say 5 out of 5, totally worth the upfront pain and first attempt that ended with an ER doc giving me oxycodone and diluaded to taper with (in September). It is hard, really hard, but I just had to keep reminding myself I will be better tomorrow. Typically this held true but I did have to use that line a few days in a row sometimes.
Bluelight community, you helped me through my lows when I needed it. I don't know if this will help anyone else, if it does the write up was worth it. If it doesn't I at least wanted to say thanks for being there.
