You NEED support from almost all areas of your life. I don't know why you'd wanna keep your parents in the dark now if you live with them.
But physical exercise, as been mentioned in here, is a great thing for this situation.
I don't think NA or AA is needed, I especially don't like how they say it's the only way to stay clean, BUT you do need a community of sorts to support you and talk to. That's why they're so valuable. It's the numbers that people will give to you so you can call people if you're struggling late at night or whatever that's a HUGE thing that's great.
Do you really want JUST "normal clean people"? People who might judge you harshly or unfairly if you try to open up to them? People who don't understand where you are?
I'd probably prefer AA over NA because NA is a bit watered down and I've found there's more scummy people in NA. Like people who will try to be like "hey, psst, I got some oxy 80's on the cheap" RIGHT after a meeting. Just go to a few meetings and try to connect with those you relate to, forget about the rest of the BS, maybe pick up a Big Book, that has some good wisdom in it.
You get the people who are like "I've been to a thousand meetings a year blah blah blah" who would probably be getting more done in life if they were using drugs. Don't bother with them, just connect to a few real folks. That's what AA's meant for, for people who don't know anyone other than old druggies, just starting out, feeling lonely, and in need of people to talk to. That's what bluelight's for also you know, but face to face contact is the utmost. AA is full of bullshitters, but so is the rest of the world, so don't just throw all of them off to the side because they used drugs once. What if people just automatically dismissed you because you used drugs? Be mindful, wary, and strong, and catch yourself when you are letting your emotions make your decisions for you, which is what it sounds like is happening in the case of not wanting to go to meetings. Emotional imbalance, in one way or another, is THE reason for drug abuse. Try to get a DBT/CBT therapist or group setting. They can teach you to recognize when your emotions are taking control, and your typical response to such emotions, and how to train yourself to literally think and act your emotions away. There's a whole list of techniques about this type of thing that I have somewhere when I was in a DBT group.
But as far as community goes, just try to find a group. A yoga class, a cycling class, something like that. Maybe a softball team, or a book club. Or get a dog and go to a dog park. Get like a Golden retriever, something that is loving and loyal and a good listener, you don't need extra stress. There's lots of things you can do. That's the beauty of it. Quitting sucks, but you MUST keep in mind that you are doing more than burning a bridge to one world, you are opening yourself up to so many better worlds. The fact that the drug scene is filled with scumbags is the thing that gets you thinking "Hey this isn't for me," but then once you quit you are like "Maybe that was for me, I'm not finding anything else better..." You just gotta keep at it.
If you get stressed easily I HIGHLY recommend getting a punching bag. Those things are great, and they wear you down MUCH faster than running does. It's a real workout!
Anyway you are my hero. You are strong and committed and you won't relapse. I am very proud of you even though I don't know you at all, and it might mean nothing coming from me. Vent all you want in the Dark Side it's what it's here for!
