SunSpot
Bluelighter
It's taken ages after my habit,
But finally my poo is solid again enough to once more clog those darn low flow toilets! Score 1 me, 0 water conservation!! I used to use daily and heavily, and for the first half year things were.. Sedate. Then my personality shone through again, until i finally quit when things just felt weird. Hard to describe what made me quit, it just felt right. Or rather, i felt deeply wrong. O in large doses stops hair loss, since you'll have no testosterone! Also makes you impotent
that crossed a line for me.
Weirdly enough, i enjoyed withdrawal! That's how i remember it at least. Cramping all over, 105 fever, no sleep for 9 days, it was a perfect excuse to watch tv and retreat. Something to focus on. Family thought i had the flu. Just in the last few weeks though I've started truly feeling like myself again (also had stupid tropical diseases from traveling in the months between). So I've started drinking, which i hate myself for.
But I'm starting to get a handle on it by staying busy. I'm tricking myself: no can't drink because I'm going to work out, or have meeting, or need to write article. People can smell it on you, though it's much less noticeable than ether. Which i quit a while ago too.
So I'm trying to make the best of who i am, fighting to unlock my potential and redirect my wanton lust for adventure into non chemical avenues. My caffeine consumption is stable below 100mg, and I'm letting my nic habit die a slow death by vaping nasty veliquid and forgetting the mod at home.
I feel so much younger now (or rather i feel my problems again from when i was younger). Waking up the night after a sober day gives me a natural high that is incomparable to any drug. Lucid dreaming has helped a lot too; it's not just fun to learn a new skill, but the weird kind of mediation you cultivate during waking hours to dream at night has affected me like no other meditation ever could.
I finally a few weeks ago learned to fly in my dreams, i can have relations with anyone, or just throw my head back for crazy visuals and the most earth shattering trip ever. Lucid dreaming rocks! I feel it's even making me smarter all around, my visualization ability has increased greatly. Its felt like i was doing differential equations in high school again.
It's a fight to stay sober, what are you ways of managing?
But finally my poo is solid again enough to once more clog those darn low flow toilets! Score 1 me, 0 water conservation!! I used to use daily and heavily, and for the first half year things were.. Sedate. Then my personality shone through again, until i finally quit when things just felt weird. Hard to describe what made me quit, it just felt right. Or rather, i felt deeply wrong. O in large doses stops hair loss, since you'll have no testosterone! Also makes you impotent
that crossed a line for me.Weirdly enough, i enjoyed withdrawal! That's how i remember it at least. Cramping all over, 105 fever, no sleep for 9 days, it was a perfect excuse to watch tv and retreat. Something to focus on. Family thought i had the flu. Just in the last few weeks though I've started truly feeling like myself again (also had stupid tropical diseases from traveling in the months between). So I've started drinking, which i hate myself for.
But I'm starting to get a handle on it by staying busy. I'm tricking myself: no can't drink because I'm going to work out, or have meeting, or need to write article. People can smell it on you, though it's much less noticeable than ether. Which i quit a while ago too.
So I'm trying to make the best of who i am, fighting to unlock my potential and redirect my wanton lust for adventure into non chemical avenues. My caffeine consumption is stable below 100mg, and I'm letting my nic habit die a slow death by vaping nasty veliquid and forgetting the mod at home.
I feel so much younger now (or rather i feel my problems again from when i was younger). Waking up the night after a sober day gives me a natural high that is incomparable to any drug. Lucid dreaming has helped a lot too; it's not just fun to learn a new skill, but the weird kind of mediation you cultivate during waking hours to dream at night has affected me like no other meditation ever could.
I finally a few weeks ago learned to fly in my dreams, i can have relations with anyone, or just throw my head back for crazy visuals and the most earth shattering trip ever. Lucid dreaming rocks! I feel it's even making me smarter all around, my visualization ability has increased greatly. Its felt like i was doing differential equations in high school again.
It's a fight to stay sober, what are you ways of managing?
