I took 100mg of 6-APB two nights ago, then ended up getting kicked out of a club because the bouncer found another two APB pills on me, I ended up going home at 12am. When I arrived home at about 12:45am I decided to take another 100mg of 6-apb and smoked some weed, it was a lovely buzz. I also took 3 Etizolam tablets at around 3:30am. Obviously I didn't sleep so at around 5:30am I took 20mg of Mitrazipine. I then fell asleep about 6:00am.
I woke up around 11:30am. I had an empty house to myself again so at around 1pm I decided to take 40mg of Methoxetamine. The visual were much stronger than usual, probably because I hadn't slept very long and I had 6-apb no too long before. I was feeling SO SO GOOD when I added a little weed to the mix to.)
About 3:00pm I snorted 25mg of MXE and smoked some weed again. At this point it was damn crazy, I was lying in bed playing on my XBOX360 and the graphics looked real on Forza 4, it was like I was driving the car, it was so realistically insane!!
Got out of bed and as soon as I was on my feet my legs just collapsed, I fell against my cupboard and I went and very nearly broke the door off. (I've got some new ones anyway which I am suppose to be fitting soon, so that wasn't so bad
Around 4pm I walked downstairs and I was extremely difficult, it was like I was really, really pissed on ALERT ALCOHOL. My mind was so aware of everything but my legs felt like they were going to drop off at any moment.
I then returned back to my bedroom and decided to go on Skype. I was speaking to some guy and I could barely talk, I've never EVER slurred my words so much in my life. I went off Skype and just sat there in my chair as if I was about to die, by body was nearly dead, but my mind was still functioning perfectly.
While lying there feeling very numb I gazed at my arm and prodded at it. I thought to myself I wonder what it would be like to slash a razor across there, for a bizarre reason I thought it would be amazing to see blood squirting out of my arm like a beautiful waterfall into my mouth like a potion, a potion to eliminate all the negativeness inside my soul. I didn't feel depressed, quite the opposite in fact.
I then began to think to myself, should I cut myself or not? I then went on my computer and decided to write a suicide note just in case I did choose to slit my arm. I WAS NOT FEELING DEPRESSED, I wrote it just in case I did commit suicide. While writing this it was like I was possessed another person was inside me, somebody far away downstairs.
Here is the note:
"I'm so sorry. You may think I am happy but deep down I hate myself, and I always have. I don't deserve to live because I am nothing.
(*My dad's name*) WAS HORRIBLE
AND SCHOOL BULLIES
I don't want to live because the world is such a horrible place.
I am so sorry!!
I would rather just be left to R.I.P"
I then gazed at the note for a minute and thought to myself, imagine if I did kill myself. Imagine the devastating affect it would have on my family, it would break their hearts. I then began to appreciate my life more, just the little things we normally take for granted. I switched off the computer.....
It was about 5:45pm and I lay in bed while watching TV. I rolled some bud with a 10mg sprinkle added to the mix, I then smoked it and.... OHH MY, there was a HUGE RUSH. Like it was a gift from someone upstairs. As falling into my pit of comfort I gazed at the ceiling. THE LIGHT!! The light on my wall was sliding ever so slowly towards me.
I then continued to watch T.V and thought I better call this a night, I swallowed 2mg of Etizolam and drifted to sleep at about 6:15pm.
I woke up feeling very, very refreshed. I had more motivation, I wasn't the normal lazy self I am. I then had the urge to do something, not like a dopamine push if you understand what I mean. More like I wanted to achieve something to make someone proud of me. I feel like 'new', my anxiety is reduced and I feel like I am a nice person, something I have never thought about myself before.
But I wonder how long it will last? Not sounding negative....
Thanks for reading. :D
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_6apb
substancecode_empathogens
substancecode_mxe
substancecode_achs
substancecode_dissociatives
substancecode_mirtazapine
substancecode_antidepressants
substancecode_pharms
substancecode_etizolam
substancecode_benzos
substancecode_gabaergics
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_cannabis
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
roacode_nasal
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
I woke up around 11:30am. I had an empty house to myself again so at around 1pm I decided to take 40mg of Methoxetamine. The visual were much stronger than usual, probably because I hadn't slept very long and I had 6-apb no too long before. I was feeling SO SO GOOD when I added a little weed to the mix to.)
About 3:00pm I snorted 25mg of MXE and smoked some weed again. At this point it was damn crazy, I was lying in bed playing on my XBOX360 and the graphics looked real on Forza 4, it was like I was driving the car, it was so realistically insane!!
Got out of bed and as soon as I was on my feet my legs just collapsed, I fell against my cupboard and I went and very nearly broke the door off. (I've got some new ones anyway which I am suppose to be fitting soon, so that wasn't so bad
Around 4pm I walked downstairs and I was extremely difficult, it was like I was really, really pissed on ALERT ALCOHOL. My mind was so aware of everything but my legs felt like they were going to drop off at any moment.
I then returned back to my bedroom and decided to go on Skype. I was speaking to some guy and I could barely talk, I've never EVER slurred my words so much in my life. I went off Skype and just sat there in my chair as if I was about to die, by body was nearly dead, but my mind was still functioning perfectly.
While lying there feeling very numb I gazed at my arm and prodded at it. I thought to myself I wonder what it would be like to slash a razor across there, for a bizarre reason I thought it would be amazing to see blood squirting out of my arm like a beautiful waterfall into my mouth like a potion, a potion to eliminate all the negativeness inside my soul. I didn't feel depressed, quite the opposite in fact.
I then began to think to myself, should I cut myself or not? I then went on my computer and decided to write a suicide note just in case I did choose to slit my arm. I WAS NOT FEELING DEPRESSED, I wrote it just in case I did commit suicide. While writing this it was like I was possessed another person was inside me, somebody far away downstairs.
Here is the note:
"I'm so sorry. You may think I am happy but deep down I hate myself, and I always have. I don't deserve to live because I am nothing.
(*My dad's name*) WAS HORRIBLE
AND SCHOOL BULLIES
I don't want to live because the world is such a horrible place.
I am so sorry!!
I would rather just be left to R.I.P"
I then gazed at the note for a minute and thought to myself, imagine if I did kill myself. Imagine the devastating affect it would have on my family, it would break their hearts. I then began to appreciate my life more, just the little things we normally take for granted. I switched off the computer.....
It was about 5:45pm and I lay in bed while watching TV. I rolled some bud with a 10mg sprinkle added to the mix, I then smoked it and.... OHH MY, there was a HUGE RUSH. Like it was a gift from someone upstairs. As falling into my pit of comfort I gazed at the ceiling. THE LIGHT!! The light on my wall was sliding ever so slowly towards me.
I then continued to watch T.V and thought I better call this a night, I swallowed 2mg of Etizolam and drifted to sleep at about 6:15pm.
I woke up feeling very, very refreshed. I had more motivation, I wasn't the normal lazy self I am. I then had the urge to do something, not like a dopamine push if you understand what I mean. More like I wanted to achieve something to make someone proud of me. I feel like 'new', my anxiety is reduced and I feel like I am a nice person, something I have never thought about myself before.
But I wonder how long it will last? Not sounding negative....
Thanks for reading. :D
Tagged by bindingaffinity
substancecode_6apb
substancecode_empathogens
substancecode_mxe
substancecode_achs
substancecode_dissociatives
substancecode_mirtazapine
substancecode_antidepressants
substancecode_pharms
substancecode_etizolam
substancecode_benzos
substancecode_gabaergics
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_cannabis
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
roacode_nasal
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
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