Bupe 52hrs 0 Subs//No WDs (30 days clean; 600mg OC/day) Atypical Addict HELP

[atomik22]

Not your typical addict here seeking non typical opinions. I understand you wouldn't tell a normal person yeah do another drug to get off another drug but I believe sometimes it can help you wind down. If I'm seriously mistaken please explain. I have a lot to lose here. I have a lot I almost lost...a beautiful life that could set me for life, that I abused thinking I didn't deserve. I can't believe I was paying over $400 a day for all those OC's, up to $800 a day average of $500 or so a day. And then another $200 a day in stupid shit to maintain my side-effect of laziness and need to maintain my comforts to maintain my habit--like cab rides, working less to play video games, stop talking to my family, ordering out at ridiculous prices.

I WAS NOT IN MY RIGHT MIND. What child of immigrants from a war-torn country comes here, is a genius in academia and the throws it all out the window and spends all his self-earned money, over $2 MILLION $ in 4 years to just maintain a habit, the things to maintain the things maintain habit, lifestyle around the habit, and the consequences of all these things on my perception of money and my procrastinating of building my own future for myself.

A true shame. But when 70% of your money is on illicit things or maintaining those illicit habits, and it's all cash paid to dealers, well it's hard to care about spending $150 a day on taking needless cabs. Or buying bottles that cost $1800 in clubs which equal 3 days of my percocet habit and I could make again by working for a day or two. And I could jusitfy this self-destruction, by saying "Poor-me I'm just a victim of NYPD's Pill War and could forced into this situation". I'm over it. No more blaming others, just taking responsibility for my actions.

So me and my girl decided to go clean for financial and health reasons. 3 years habit starting at 60mg oxy a day going all the way up to 500mg a day for me (my last days were around 200mg). My girl was doing 120mg a day but she did hers orally. I almost exclusively did mine intranasally and the i bet the effects of that 200mg were really closer to 150mg.

It's been 30 days I got off them thru subs. We both did. Our first day we needed 10-12mg of sub each to get off the worst withdrawals. Over the next couple days I dropped to half--she couldn't do it and went back to OC 30s for about 4 days meanwhile during those 3 days I dropped down to a quarter of an 8mg (so 2mg). When I got down to 2mg my GF felt she let me down so started up again. She is around a week behind my timetable. I recently, I went down to 1mg but couldnt do it (around day 20) and then jumped back up to 2.5mg. Then switched down again to 1.0-1.5mg, and then broke my regimen and started sniffing, for the prior the 10 days prior to my cold turkey, around 1.5-2.0mg.

My girl on the other hand decided to quit off 2mg and she had instant withdrawals that same day. I think it was PAWs from the opiates around day 14 for her (I started earlier and was on day 21). The hardest days were the day 10-23 where the fatigue, random passing out and, headaches were rampant.

Now we're both trying to avoid the PAWs of opiates if possible. I'm personally a skinny 6-00 150lb with a crazy fast metabolism. I could quit cold turkey for up to the first 6 months of my 60mg-90mg of oxy usage whenever I visited family. But when I had an emotional trauma when I got cut off from my doc back then, I had to end the pain using a black market supplier. I've spent MILLIONS of dollars on this drug. And it was killing my friendships, my freedom, and my family connections.

To get back on topic, I'm actually now on day 2 of no subs (off of 2mg insufflated but I was using cocaine to help with the restlessness---I HAD TO WORK afterall) so I think that 2mg wasn't really getting absorbed. Maybe I'm lying to myself but i really believe less than 1mg was getting in me. I would get "high" for after doing .8-1.1mg, it'll hit me 15-20 min later, and continue for 5-7 hours before I'd need another another dose. The first 7ish of those last 10 days I was still feeling dysphoria from what i think were PAWs from the 3 years of 10 to 15x30mg of oxy insuffulated.

But two days ago i decided unintentionally to stop. Why? I felt fine the day after I woke up. Then I pushed it all day. Did a xanax for the slight restlessness and then felt fine in the morning. Then I did some adderall at low dosage to help me move around and now done 1.5mg of xanax to go to sleep. For some reason adderall REALLY helps with the tiredness although it hasnt' beeen too bad in recent days.

I was thinking. Should I try to keep going until I start feeling bad? I'm wondering have I indeed hit that sweet spot of leaving the PAWs of the 3 years of opiate use (which I believe wholeheartedly--i recently stopped feeling so randomly tired and depressed and like a normal human being, fiance and son)?? If I have, which it seems to me so as I haven't done any sub in over 2 days and feel fine....and then i have i tight time-frame to just get off the subs as quickly as possible before I get addicted to that too. Yes subs aren't expensive like OC 30s are. But who cares at this point. I want to be CLEAN HEALTHY AND HAPPY. No more dependencies.

I'm someone who's built for self-control so if in the case of that being assumed, if i do crack and need something on say day 4, would it better to do a small bit of OC15mg each day split around 3 days and then switch to 2 days of .5 mg of sub for 2 days, then 1 day of .025 and then .025 again. In the past I have repeatedly been able to go on vacation and cut my habit from 8-12 OC 30s a day to 1.5-2.5 OCs but then get back in the environment of me and my GF and we bounce our bad behavior off each other. That's come to an end and we're finally on the same page of quitting. But this last part is where we need the most help.

You may be like this kid is full of shit, or trying to self-rationalize doing something stupid, but literally I have 40 OC30s in my drawer and haven't caved in the past 30 days. I'm not one of those people who seek addiction. I just can distance myself from my weaknesses to find the most effective route to relief. I have known true addicts in the past, like heroin addicts, and they will say anything to do more. I'm willing and able to do less. I was an Olympian at Taekwondo and Courage, Discipline and Self-Control are deeply ingrained in my being.

***Trust me if anyone is more dubious and will be more careful about proceeding it will be me. But i could do it if this "long-shot" method I'm suggesting, would actually help given the circumstances???**

Again its hour 50 now of no subs, I'm super high metabolism long distance ex olympic runner (now smoker--gotta stop that one--my car accident and the NY lifestyle got me hooked and I'm thinking right now "do anything to get out of the DOFC hell" and then take care of the rest mentality). I can do 72hrs. I do have xanax to get through the sleepless nights. And weed for relief if needed. My doctor just keeps giving me these 8mg subutex pills and i can't break them any further and psychologically they don't encourage you to lower your dose to say 1/16 or 1/32 of a pill.

And notably keep in mind my girl last week (my day 22, her day 16) tried cold turkey on 2mg of subutex but she does it subliginual all the time. Within 24hrs of stopping she was twitching doing cold sweats and then caved in and had to do 3mg (2mg orally--which took too long to hit so she did her first sniffing of 1mg of it)

My 1.5-2.0mg of sub's been always snorted from day 18 to day 28. , and i'm the type it hits me fast, and around 1.5mg of that is used when i get edgy on the blow. I stopped because I saw the hindrance of the blow and, start doing prescribed adderall instead since coke gives me a neurological twitch and muscle cramps that make me crack and do subs for relief. I'm not worried about any other drug right now except getting off opiates. I'm willing to quit it all when I get off the subs but I'm willing and confident I can play with the devil to get my needs done for the moment.

And BTW my doc let me do the induction on my own terms, saying he was on call and ready to meet me at the emergency room at any time, into the subs as it was more a social reason than my own fault (his own words) I got addicted--they stopped prescribing them to anyone that's "too young" up here in NYC. My GF who has neck problems and debilitating headaches seemed more addicted to her 120mg than i was to 200mg. The reason I'm so detailed here is maybe someone with actual, god-honest advice can help me out. I need to hit my full potential. Just switch off the oxy has re-opened the brilliant part of my mind and I'm already publishing in math journals (a hobby of mine) again after a 3 year hiatus. I've never felt so normal, and happy, and not financially stressed that I don't know but KNOW KNOW I refuse to fall into old ways at all costs.

At the end of the day I made MILLIONS and yet procrastinate and struggle to pay RENT of $1800 a month. Why? Because crazy enough you convince yourself you can just work for it another day and it'll just come to you and you wont spend it recklessly again. IT DOESNT WORK. Let me tell you. I'll be the first shouting from the rooftops.

So. Please any advice is appreciated to help re-orient myself and my life. As I finish this long dirge of my past 3 years, I am at 52hr no subs and it's time for bed. When I wake up it'll be over 60hrs. Please keep in mind my entire story, and my emotional, character, and physical states before making any conclusions. Also don't be turned away by the 2mg insuffulated that I was doing, it really wasn't hitting me right (I have nose problems and most anything I sniff goes down right to my stomach as I had a broken nose surgery a while ago) and it only felt marginally better than doing around .9-1.0mg.

Just to clarify again, I wanna know if you guys agree with my deductions, and what you think I should do...hold it out and then try to get over it or wait until the withdrawals hit and then do a sub or maybe switch back to OC for a couple days MAX and then to .1mg sub every few days. I really believe this is a critical decision making time and need the help of you guys here. Cutting down is an art of discipline, but quitting is an art of strategy and self-evaluation. This whole time, although I'm not considered an addict by friends, I know i have become addicted by repetition because I'm not above human weakness.

Hope all is well! And this won't be a hit-and-run post. Ill keep you updated.

 

[Tinker55]

You sound like a bright, determined guy. But using your DOC to help you withdraw from subs? Not a good idea. You're mixing a short acting opioid with long lasting subs. Why don't you just complete the sub taper and jump from the lowest possible dose?

 

[mysafehome01]

I'll second tinkers advice.

 

[HdoubleODeezy]

The only upside I would see in using your DOC to taper instead of bupe is, bupe has a longer wd once completely stopped plus a lot longer PAWS (in some) than oxy would/does.

Otherwise I agree with the two posts above.

-HOOD

 

[Zerwas]

I also agree with everyone else. Complete the taper and do not go back to Oxy. The possibility that you want to subliminally get high is real and too much of a risk.
Just stay on your course. This switching between the two drugs will only cause more problems and prolong your addiction.

 

[cygnusx]

So you're an Olympian in both taekwondo and long distance running and multi-millionaire and "academic genius" and mathematician? When do you have time for drugs? You know, Olympians are very easy to look up, especially dual sport athletes, as there are very very few of them. Sounds like you have a little problem with pathological lies on top of your addiction.

 

[Project Will]

It sounds like you need to chill out on the drugs (and embellishment.) If you start doing oxy again you will certainly fall back into active addiction.. God forbid you blow a few more million dollars.

Obviously jumping from subs back to oxy is a foolish decision. If you are at 52 hours with no subs and have a supply of xanax, just jump off now. It will probably be uncomfortable but at least you won't drag the shit out longer than you have to.

You might want to look into going to AA or NA. It isn't for everyone but it has helped me.

 

[stillkickin]

Yep, don't think it's a good idea to use DOC when doing any sub taper. It's easy to rationalize as thinking your just substituting a short half-life opiate so you can make the last transition a bit easier but ime, it's never worked out. Always end up hitting the DOC way too much. That slope has always been too slippery for anyone I've known.

 

[Carl Landrover]

So you're an Olympian in both taekwondo and long distance running and multi-millionaire and "academic genius" and mathematician? When do you have time for drugs? You know, Olympians are very easy to look up, especially dual sport athletes, as there are very very few of them. Sounds like you have a little problem with pathological lies on top of your addiction.

I really don't know much about taekwondo to comment on it, but I do know long distance running and track in general rather well. I don't think training for taekwondo would have much in common with training for long distances. I haven't paid as much attention the last 2 years (neither were Olympic years), but the previous ten track/cross country/running was pretty much my main hobby. I used to be more involved at the high school level, but would follow college and elites as well. Kind of hard to believe that you'd be an Olympic distance runner (what does that even mean? 5k? 10k? marathon? Most people don't consider 5k long distance and I doubt this is Galen Rupp or anyone near that caliber).

They do have drug testing at pretty much all IAAF events and if you're Olympic caliber then you're going to be doing the European circuit.

Could have gotten the same point across without adding any of these details.

 

[atomik22]

It sounds like you need to chill out on the drugs (and embellishment.) If you start doing oxy again you will certainly fall back into active addiction.. God forbid you blow a few more million dollars.

Obviously jumping from subs back to oxy is a foolish decision. If you are at 52 hours with no subs and have a supply of xanax, just jump off now. It will probably be uncomfortable but at least you won't drag the shit out longer than you have to.

You might want to look into going to AA or NA. It isn't for everyone but it has helped me.

my apologies. it was 5am and I added Olympian before runner instead of taekwondo. Thoughts were jumbled on the xanax.

I was a junior Olympian for taekwondo and used to do half marathon running in my free time. It's funny that skewed people's perceptions of me by just that small adjective misplacement.

I just hit 72hours and feel fine. sober. but fine. during the sub induction I felt a sort of habitual rehab and emotional rehab that you may not expect you need especially as a dependent turned addict. but when your entire world of dependencie's shift I assume that it's inevitable you need an emotional readjustment. for a while the subs were taking me up and down. one second energy, the next second random emotional triggers of empathy.

made me realize I can't keep doing this as it's still a powerful drug.

now to address the MILLIONS people are calling out. ..what do u think a 25 pill a day combined habit between me and my GF cost over 4 years in NYC where they go for 30 bucks a pop. You may not want to believe me, and figured as much hence my reluctance to open up to judgment, but I live in NYC and I've known plenty of people with crazier habits up to $1500 a day. And to maintain that habit and live a NY lifestyle you need to be a functional addict with a good source of income. There's a lot of us out there but we remain quiet and hide behind our money.

As an update, I think I'm gonna push it through to day 4. My main question here is about the sweet spot of stopping subs.

My GF had PAWS from oxys day ~18 after stopping subs for one day. On day's 25-28 I felt stable and figured the PAW'S might be over and let me test how long I can go. well it's day 3 and nothing crazy I can't handle. I was hoping maybe when the PAWS are over maybe that's the easiest time to just jump off. I don't think anyone has talked about this.

 

[atomik22]

and I do agree with you guys that switch to Oxy again is the last thing I want to do. But I was saying if my theory above is incorrect I feel I can be strong enough to not relapse. I am TIRED OF ADDICTION. FED UP. So if all the if's about relapse and self control could a short acting optiate 3 day switch and then cold turkey be an option? And the only reason I ask is I know for a fact maintain these subs in that scenerio would not help.

We will get to that if it comes to it. But I'm going to follow thru as long as humanely possible on the current plan.

And I have 300mg of Oxy still in my drawer and if I wanted to relapse I would have done so. I'm not one of those Dr Phil cases, but I still question myself just like you all do.

 

[Carl Landrover]

my apologies. it was 5am and I added Olympian before runner instead of taekwondo. Thoughts were jumbled on the xanax.

I was a junior Olympian for taekwondo and used to do half marathon running in my free time. It's funny that skewed people's perceptions of me by just that small adjective misplacement.

You're making a lot of big claims and have 2 posts. We don't know you. Can't take everything people say at face value. Plus none of that information was needed.

 

[atomik22]

You're making a lot of big claims and have 2 posts. We don't know you. Can't take everything people say at face value. Plus none of that information was needed.

It's related to my metabolism. To give people an idea. Because your metabolism affects your WD symptoms and the amount of bupe you secrete from your urine.

So thanks for adding nothing.

And since when is this a big boy's club and nobody else can post. I think you're hijacking my post so carry on somewhere else please. I understand why the other two people said what they said but you're just being intolerant. How rude.

Someone's quitting subs and asking for help and that's what you post of all things. All my claims are related to who I am. You shouldn't take it at face value. I said I made a mistake typing at 5am in the morning. Who are you to tell me what or what not to say.

/i'm off. Please if you have any input that'd be appreciated. I just asking for anyone else's experiences who were opiate-dependent turned addict and then got off it.

Still of the subs. Body temperature starting to act weird. Pupils a little more dilated to normal size. All manageable.

 

[manboychef]

you said you had 40 oxy 30's. If your a mathematician you would know thats 1200mg, not 300mg. Unless you did some.

All bullshit aside. Eventually you need to pay the piper. You are going to get sick, you are going to have PAWS its how you deal with it that decides if you stay straight or not.

AA NA or rehab my friend. From what I read, you have a problem accepting your life and inadequacies. It is nothing to be ashamed of, however it will need work.

 

[namnoc16]

I'm someone who's built for self-control so if in the case of that being assumed, if i do crack and need something on say day 4, would it better to do a small bit of OC15mg each day split around 3 days and then switch to 2 days of .5 mg of sub for 2 days, then 1 day of .025 and then .025 again. In the past I have repeatedly been able to go on vacation and cut my habit from 8-12 OC 30s a day to 1.5-2.5 OCs but then get back in the environment of me and my GF and we bounce our bad behavior off each other. That's come to an end and we're finally on the same page of quitting. But this last part is where we need the most help.

You may be like this kid is full of shit, or trying to self-rationalize doing something stupid, but literally I have 40 OC30s in my drawer and haven't caved in the past 30 days. I'm not one of those people who seek addiction. I just can distance myself from my weaknesses to find the most effective route to relief. I have known true addicts in the past, like heroin addicts, and they will say anything to do more. I'm willing and able to do less. I was an Olympian at Taekwondo and Courage, Discipline and Self-Control are deeply ingrained in my being.

Ok these 2 above paragraphs are yours and in it you say you are built for self control then talk about can I get away with smoking crack and doing a little bit of my drug of choice switching with subs, are you fucking serious genius?
You are not to endearing and I couldn't get through half of your post without skipping down here and speaking my mind. First I think at the very least you are a Troll or at the worst a pathological liar. If you have all that fucking money why don't you go to some fancy resort rehab and if you were lying about your money you could always do some of your sweet Olympian taekwondo moves and bust up the people running the place and make them give you a bed.
I know many of my fellow BLs are much more patient and hope for the best in people more then I do(most of them are very good people) but I know they smell your bullshit as well as I do they are just better at giving the benefit of the doubt then me. If you really have a problem leave out all the useless bullshit and get down to the nuts and bolts. Nobody wants to sit here and listen to all of these overblown fantasy land stories just say"I'm an addict I need help with this" and keep your lies for your Playmate girlfriend! we are all to willing to help but you need to check your bullshit at the door!

 

[atomik22]

I'm someone who's built for self-control so if in the case of that being assumed, if i do crack and need something on say day 4, would it better to do a small bit of OC15mg each day split around 3 days and then switch to 2 days of .5 mg of sub for 2 days, then 1 day of .025 and then .025 again. In the past I have repeatedly been able to go on vacation and cut my habit from 8-12 OC 30s a day to 1.5-2.5 OCs but then get back in the environment of me and my GF and we bounce our bad behavior off each other. That's come to an end and we're finally on the same page of quitting. But this last part is where we need the most help.

You may be like this kid is full of shit, or trying to self-rationalize doing something stupid, but literally I have 40 OC30s in my drawer and haven't caved in the past 30 days. I'm not one of those people who seek addiction. I just can distance myself from my weaknesses to find the most effective route to relief. I have known true addicts in the past, like heroin addicts, and they will say anything to do more. I'm willing and able to do less. I was an Olympian at Taekwondo and Courage, Discipline and Self-Control are deeply ingrained in my being.

Ok these 2 above paragraphs are yours and in it you say you are built for self control then talk about can I get away with smoking crack and doing a little bit of my drug of choice switching with subs, are you fucking serious genius?
You are not to endearing and I couldn't get through half of your post without skipping down here and speaking my mind. First I think at the very least you are a Troll or at the worst a pathological liar. If you have all that fucking money why don't you go to some fancy resort rehab and if you were lying about your money you could always do some of your sweet Olympian taekwondo moves and bust up the people running the place and make them give you a bed.
I know many of my fellow BLs are much more patient and hope for the best in people more then I do(most of them are very good people) but I know they smell your bullshit as well as I do they are just better at giving the benefit of the doubt then me. If you really have a problem leave out all the useless bullshit and get down to the nuts and bolts. Nobody wants to sit here and listen to all of these overblown fantasy land stories just say"I'm an addict I need help with this" and keep your lies for your Playmate girlfriend! we are all to willing to help but you need to check your bullshit at the door!

Wow. First off I never said I smoke crack. I don't even know where that came to your head. I did blow during the early stages of random sleep until I was represcribed adderall XR. I've deaded people from my life for doing anything like Meth, Crack, or H near me. I'm in NY and everyone is ditzy and fritzy but coke's as far as goes. Smoke Crack? I wouldnt even know where to get anyway

You didn't read my post and jumped to assumptions. I never said I smoke crack.I was dealing with the lethargy of the subs and had a business to run.

OC15s are what I have as mentioned in the first post. I Call OC15s or OC30s blues all interchangeably sometimes big deal. I'm sorry if that offends you regardless it's 80 OC 15s or 80 greens. So 40 Blues. Who gives a shit they're in my drawer i'm not trying to count them every second.

I'm asking for an answer to the question of sweet spot of quitting subs after PAWS are over.

If you questions my credentials PM and I'll happily show you and you can run back and tell everyone else how wrong you were. Jesus. Who cares. The point is I have oxy in front me and I don't care to care about the exact amount.

Mathematician is defined by your ability to never make a mistake on arithmetic? Are you crazy? I'm finishing a proof of using multicomplex numbers, bifuricated prime numbers and the removal of all primes in { {N}*{N}

} ​

to prove goldbach's theorem and find prime numbers.

What turds take pleasure in finding ways to question or vilify someone. What do you want to ask next? To see my bank statements?

You guys are no help. But I'm not answer this bullshit anymore. If you have a problem outside my questions of finding the sweet spot of PAWS's conclusion to time my jump off subs; and how to most effectively do so, then go ahead and PM me your qualms. Ill happily show you my paper on Quantization of Number Theory. Maybe because I studied abroad it doesn't make sense to you fine gents but I had very catered academic origins. You want to verify who you am. Go ahead but do it on PM and then when you realize you're being a douche and not answering the topic on hand you can come with your head between your toes and vouch for the invalidity of whatever dubiousness you were trying to cast upon me.

For now can people please try and help me through this. I figured my life story was relevant but only gets people jealous or some weird emotion I can't understand very well.

 

[atomik22]

I'm someone who's built for self-control so if in the case of that being assumed, if i do crack and need something on say day 4, would it better to do a small bit of OC15mg each day split around 3 days and then switch to 2 days of .5 mg of sub for 2 days, then 1 day of .025 and then .025 again. In the past I have repeatedly been able to go on vacation and cut my habit from 8-12 OC 30s a day to 1.5-2.5 OCs but then get back in the environment of me and my GF and we bounce our bad behavior off each other. That's come to an end and we're finally on the same page of quitting. But this last part is where we need the most help.

You may be like this kid is full of shit, or trying to self-rationalize doing something stupid, but literally I have 40 OC30s in my drawer and haven't caved in the past 30 days. I'm not one of those people who seek addiction. I just can distance myself from my weaknesses to find the most effective route to relief. I have known true addicts in the past, like heroin addicts, and they will say anything to do more. I'm willing and able to do less. I was an Olympian at Taekwondo and Courage, Discipline and Self-Control are deeply ingrained in my being.

Ok these 2 above paragraphs are yours and in it you say you are built for self control then talk about can I get away with smoking crack and doing a little bit of my drug of choice switching with subs, are you fucking serious genius?
You are not to endearing and I couldn't get through half of your post without skipping down here and speaking my mind. First I think at the very least you are a Troll or at the worst a pathological liar. If you have all that fucking money why don't you go to some fancy resort rehab and if you were lying about your money you could always do some of your sweet Olympian taekwondo moves and bust up the people running the place and make them give you a bed.
I know many of my fellow BLs are much more patient and hope for the best in people more then I do(most of them are very good people) but I know they smell your bullshit as well as I do they are just better at giving the benefit of the doubt then me. If you really have a problem leave out all the useless bullshit and get down to the nuts and bolts. Nobody wants to sit here and listen to all of these overblown fantasy land stories just say"I'm an addict I need help with this" and keep your lies for your Playmate girlfriend! we are all to willing to help but you need to check your bullshit at the door!

Wow. First off I never said I smoke crack. I don't even know where that came to your head. I did blow during the early stages of random sleep until I was represcribed adderall XR. I've deaded people from my life for doing anything like Meth, Crack, or H near me. I'm in NY and everyone is ditzy and fritzy but coke's as far as goes. Smoke Crack? I wouldnt even know where to get anyway

You didn't read my post and jumped to assumptions. I never said I smoke crack.I was dealing with the lethargy of the subs and had a business to run.

OC15s are what I have as mentioned in the first post. I sold some of them to get them out of my house. Do you want me to walk you through every thing I do? And you can definitely critic a mathematician with arithmetic. I run my own business at 24 years old and am miles ahead of any of your criticism. THANKS FOR THAT INPUT.

I'm asking for an answer to the question of sweet spot of quitting subs after PAWS are over.

If you questions my credentials PM and I'll happily show you and you can run back and tell everyone else how wrong you were. Jesus. Who cares. The point is I have oxy in front me and I don't care to care about the exact amount.

Mathematician is defined by your ability to never make a mistake on arithmetic? Are you crazy? I'm finishing a proof of using multicomplex numbers, bifuricated prime numbers and the removal of all primes in { {N}*{N}

} ​

to prove goldbach's theorem and find prime numbers.

What turds take pleasure in finding ways to question or vilify someone. What do you want to ask next? To see my bank statements?

You guys are no help. But I'm not answer this bullshit anymore. If you have a problem outside my questions of finding the sweet spot of PAWS's conclusion to time my jump off subs; and how to most effectively do so, then go ahead and PM me your qualms. Ill happily show you my paper on Quantization of Number Theory. Maybe because I studied abroad it doesn't make sense to you fine gents but I had very catered academic origins. You want to verify who you am. Go ahead but do it on PM and then when you realize you're being a douche and not answering the topic on hand you can come with your head between your toes and vouch for the invalidity of whatever dubiousness you were trying to cast upon me.

For now can people please try and help me through this. I figured my life story was relevant but only gets people jealous or some weird emotion I can't understand very well. All i care about is making sure I don't have to tell my kids when they ask me later in the future for something, that they can't have that something because daddy and mommy did all the drugs up their nose 3 years ago when money wasn't a care in the world for them. Playmate girlfriend? She helped me when I was on the street after some legal trouble i was in and let me live in her home when nothing was for her to gain.

P.S. I don't need you condescending my woman. Karma bites you in the ass. Remember that when you find your non Playmate girlfriend getting treated better than any woman in the world but a man other than yourself--because you're an unemphatic douche. Take some time and reflect on that you bigot.

 

[TMNPothead]

Good job flaming people trying to help you bud. You're just like every addict on this site and some of them are actually giving you good information if you weren't stuck up your own ass to realize it.

 

[hatrix]

Mathematician is defined by your ability to never make a mistake on arithmetic? Are you crazy? I'm finishing a proof of using multicomplex numbers, bifuricated prime numbers and the removal of all primes in { {N}*{N}

} ​

to prove goldbach's theorem and find prime numbers.

This is the reason people are questioning your posts. What the fuck was the point of adding this? People were already pointing out the pointless info you've added and then you go and do it again!

I'm not trying to bash someone who is truly in need of help and isn't trolling, but you are seriously not helping your case here. Stop doing that, or people are going to keep calling you a liar and no one will help you.

You guys are no help. But I'm not answer this bullshit anymore. If you have a problem outside my questions of finding the sweet spot of PAWS's conclusion to time my jump off subs; and how to most effectively do so, then go ahead and PM me your qualms. Ill happily show you my paper on Quantization of Number Theory. Maybe because I studied abroad it doesn't make sense to you fine gents but I had very catered academic origins. You want to verify who you am. Go ahead but do it on PM and then when you realize you're being a douche and not answering the topic on hand you can come with your head between your toes and vouch for the invalidity of whatever dubiousness you were trying to cast upon me.

And AGAIN. You fucking do it AGAIN! NO ONE CARES. It adds NOTHING to helping you or giving you advice. It just makes you sound like you are completely full of yourself. How is this information going to help me determine the best way for you to taper or handle your withdrawal? You just keep digging a deeper hole here.

Here's the deal. I'm not even going to quote your original post because it is filled with so much stupid bullshit. If you're telling the truth, you have a fucking problem. Clearly...

If you're as smart as you claim, you'd already be in rehab. A damn good one, since you claim to have so much money.

You aren't going to avoid PAWs if you experience withdrawal from such a huge habit. It's just not going to happen. I don't know why you would think otherwise. Maybe I'm misunderstanding that part, but that seems to be what you are saying.

And switching back to oxy to taper off?! That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard. You probably think I sound like an asshole right now, but just READ what you have written and fucking listen to yourself. You're SNORTING your suboxone, instead of taking it the way it's meant to be taken. You can't even take your maintenance drug in a way that isn't abusive. That says a lot about you.

You need to go to TREATMENT. There is no further discussion to be had. You and your girlfriend both clearly cannot handle this situation without some form of treatment. So put those "millions" to use and get yourself some actual help, otherwise you're never going to be clean and you will suffer for it, all thanks to no one but yourself.

You're attitude towards the people posting in this thread isn't helping. Stop acting the way you are. No one wants to help someone who sounds so incredibly full of themselves and gets pissy when people point it out.

If you reply to this in the same attitude as you have been to others posters, I guarantee no one will help you and this thread will probably get closed.

I'm someone who's built for self-control so if in the case of that being assumed, if i do crack and need something on say day 4, would it better to do a small bit of OC15mg each day split.....

And to clarify, you certainly did fucking say something about smoking or doing crack. Get your shit straight.

 

[manboychef]

Look atomik. What you are doing is drawing a wedge between you and us. Basically, when you talk the way you talk by adding in accomplishments that none of us care about, then you are basically just peacocking my friend.

I am an incredibly talented chef. I could talk all day about different flavors, different archaic cooking methods, procurement, dining room flow....but in the end none of that matters if I am still hopelessy addicted.

My experience is that I lost everything. It didn't matter how good a chef I was, It didn't matter how many interns I trained, or where I taught...because I couldn't keep a needle out of my arm long enough to actually teach. It is the same with you. Trim all the bullshit out of your posts about your life that do not need to be there so people like myself that have a little cleantime from opiates will help you. Don't cut your nose off to spite your face my friend.