I am in the Liverpool drug scene, and have been visiting relatives abroad since mid-February. It started out as a fun escape from my shitty life in the UK (No job, etc.) but is slowly destroying me as I don't have ANYTHING to do:
1) No independence- I have no money so am staying in my father's villa and travelling with him to a flat every few weeks somewhere in the Mediterranean. Two house servants do all the chores and as I can't drive and this area has no proper public transport, I can't go anywhere without my old Dad to drive me. It's well beyond a bit of fun now.
2) No drugs- By far the worst problem. No fucking drugs. Money, the language barrier and being with my family has prevented me getting my hands on so much as a pill of Valium. I just want to come to the places I know and get some downers, opiates and coke in my system. (And try some mephedrone.)
3) No community- I don't know a fucking soul here outside my family and I feel so lonely. I am keeping up with mates from home over Facebook but my heavy drug-using associates aren't on it and I feel so down being out of the scene.
I hope to fly back in first week of May and score straight away, then do a massive blow-out on May 22 which I do to symbolically exorcise old demons. (That day one previous year, which I still vividly remember, my parents found out I was doing coke aged 15. I ran away from home and went to live at my dealer's. The day after, I went back to a bar near my old house to go to a mate's 18th. Fucking Dibble cunts picked me up and forced me back home, as I was under 16 and reported missing- but that wasn't the end of the story. My mum and dad physically locked me in the house, lying awake by the door all night for two nights to stop me leaving and meeting my dealer again. I was withdrawing so bad I phoned 999 in desperation asking to be sectioned, and ended up stuck on a locked children's hospital ward. I would still possibly hurt that cunt policeman who told me "You're 15 so you do as your parents say. That's it." if I saw him. If I wasn't religious I would fucking murder him, no problem. But I believe in forgiveness, hard as it may be for me to forgive...)
1) No independence- I have no money so am staying in my father's villa and travelling with him to a flat every few weeks somewhere in the Mediterranean. Two house servants do all the chores and as I can't drive and this area has no proper public transport, I can't go anywhere without my old Dad to drive me. It's well beyond a bit of fun now.
2) No drugs- By far the worst problem. No fucking drugs. Money, the language barrier and being with my family has prevented me getting my hands on so much as a pill of Valium. I just want to come to the places I know and get some downers, opiates and coke in my system. (And try some mephedrone.)
3) No community- I don't know a fucking soul here outside my family and I feel so lonely. I am keeping up with mates from home over Facebook but my heavy drug-using associates aren't on it and I feel so down being out of the scene.
I hope to fly back in first week of May and score straight away, then do a massive blow-out on May 22 which I do to symbolically exorcise old demons. (That day one previous year, which I still vividly remember, my parents found out I was doing coke aged 15. I ran away from home and went to live at my dealer's. The day after, I went back to a bar near my old house to go to a mate's 18th. Fucking Dibble cunts picked me up and forced me back home, as I was under 16 and reported missing- but that wasn't the end of the story. My mum and dad physically locked me in the house, lying awake by the door all night for two nights to stop me leaving and meeting my dealer again. I was withdrawing so bad I phoned 999 in desperation asking to be sectioned, and ended up stuck on a locked children's hospital ward. I would still possibly hurt that cunt policeman who told me "You're 15 so you do as your parents say. That's it." if I saw him. If I wasn't religious I would fucking murder him, no problem. But I believe in forgiveness, hard as it may be for me to forgive...)