WARNING: MY ENGLISH IS SHITTY.
So, about 2 mounts ago I took about 60 mg of 4-HO-MET(fumarate).
I'll keep the report as simple as possible, so you be able to understand my English(hopefully).
Age: 18
Place: My room
I used 4-HO-MET before, never took more than 20 mg.
T 0:00 - I Took 50 mg of powder(folded inside a cigarette paper) orally.
T +0:20 - pretty strong visuals, surprisingly "kind" bodyload, my mind is definitely twisted, seems like I've already peaked, AMAZING euphoria, 0 anxiety.
T +0:30 - still coming up? it's impossible! I can see everything bright, every pixel on my PC screen is visible, the euphoria get better and better. the visuals are super strong, but so not important.
T +0:40 - it was so good, like the most amazing feeling I ever had from drugs or anything. I remember it was so good, I actually googled "Mania" because it was the only word came to mind to describe my situation.
(FROM NOW ON I CAN'T REALLY ESTIMATE THE TIME ACCURATELY)
T +0:50 - I went to the bathroom to drink from the sink, and than I've discovered the mirror.
I remember me feeling like a god, and making those "animalistic-about to attack" kind of face expressions.
the "come-up" seems to be over(it probably won't), and at this point I remember me thinking to myself "I'm completely insane, I totally lost it, I totally love it, and I definitely want more".
T+~1:00 - I took the zip-lock bag, it was almost empty(but there was plenty of powder stuck to the edges), I've poured water into the bag, gave it a nice mix and drank it from a cup(it seems irresponsible, but I've actually planed to take the rest of the bag if I would feel comfortable with the 50 mg trip).
T+ ~1:05 - I've stayed in the bathroom, I remember thinking taking my shirt off, and estimate it probably because "I'm feeling hot so this is my instincts telling me to cool off".
T+ ~1:10 - I couldn't really know what my body felt. my senses went crazy(so as I), everything moved(but I could still see good enough to move).
Sounds were changing pitch repeatedly, sounds began to speed up and slow down repeatedly, and there was kind of an echo(but it sounded so realistic, I've simply heard words and sounds repeating themselves clearly). but I was still incredibly happy, manic, self loving, I felt superior as a god that everyone should kneel for(I was exactly like the guy in here at 2:14), and insane(in a good way). I knew it's was too much happiness and euphoria(in my deep mind) but I couldn't care less.
TILL THIS POINT I HAD 0 ANXIETY.
T + ~1:40 - I heard my name being shouting by my dad, so I've instinctively answered "what?"(biggest mistake I made, I shouldn't have answer and he would think I was asleep), He shouted "come down stairs", I answered "O.K" for some reason(I could have said I'm in the bathroom, I could have said I'm in bed, etc). I stayed up, he called me again and again, so I eventually came down stairs.
it took him about 2 seconds to see I'm high as fuck. just happens my cousin(older than me) was there as well(they both looked weird).
So I told him(with a smile that I couldn't take off my face) I took mushrooms.
so he said: "Again?(FTR, the last time I took psychedelics was at least 3-5 mounts ago) I've told you already I don't allow that"
And the anxiety begins about here:
"it's one step before rehab, and at your age? what if you'll be stuck like that forever?"
"it may destroy your life, you mess up with your brain".
I know it sound pity, like I blame others over my own actions, but I truly believe my father is the main cause to my anxiety and panic attack..
so he told me to go upstairs, and that we will talk afterwards when I'll be able to(I drifted, and couldn't really use words).
T +~1:43 - I've got upstairs, the smile is definitely gone from my face, and my father's words echos in my mind.
I had the same thoughts as before, but I looked at them in a whole different light: "I lost it", "I became insane", and my favorite: "what if it mess my head up for good?"
I believed that the only thing that might mess me up is the anxiety itself.
Because after a while, I might believe in the anxious thoughts about how i damaged for life(and it will lead to damaging my life).
T +~1:50 - So I decided to go to an hospital in order to get some benzos to set me down.
But my dad said "no", he said that it will screw up my future, he calm me down(I wasn't in visible panic, and I talked in a calm tone).
T +~1:55 - the anxious is gone, we went on a ride in the car to pick up my sister.
couldn't feel anything, I couldn't understand the concept of feelings(happiness, sadness, anger, anxiety, boredom...). I wasn't a person, I was a blank page.
The visuals was unbelievable, like a movie. I saw letters on a bus just scramble and change order, buildings looked like pictures, the ugliest place in town never looked so beautiful. I
T +~2:00 - I remember seeing a guy with a faceless mask(just like the mask from "The Wall(Pink Floyd)".
followed by another one, and only when I realized everyone at the street had no face - I come to the conclusion it must be an hallucination.
It was so realistic: men an women, children and elders - All without a face, just skin.
T +~2:30 - We've return home.
T +~4:00 - I couldn't sleep so I watched "Louie CK stand-up shows", comedown finally STARTED.
T +~7:00 - I finally fall a sleep.
T +~14:00 - I woke up to school, completely normal, none side effects what-so-ever, not even slight hangover - JUST GOOD AS NEW.
But since then(2 months after), I find myself happy far more often then before.
I definitely planing to try this again sometime(this time with Etizolam in my pocket).
-
I you were able to understand most of what I wrote, you probably a genius(or my English teacher did a fine job).
I would very much appreciate it if you're be willing current my awful grammar, so everyone else will be able to understand it as well.
thanks
So, about 2 mounts ago I took about 60 mg of 4-HO-MET(fumarate).
I'll keep the report as simple as possible, so you be able to understand my English(hopefully).
Age: 18
Place: My room
I used 4-HO-MET before, never took more than 20 mg.
T 0:00 - I Took 50 mg of powder(folded inside a cigarette paper) orally.
T +0:20 - pretty strong visuals, surprisingly "kind" bodyload, my mind is definitely twisted, seems like I've already peaked, AMAZING euphoria, 0 anxiety.
T +0:30 - still coming up? it's impossible! I can see everything bright, every pixel on my PC screen is visible, the euphoria get better and better. the visuals are super strong, but so not important.
T +0:40 - it was so good, like the most amazing feeling I ever had from drugs or anything. I remember it was so good, I actually googled "Mania" because it was the only word came to mind to describe my situation.
(FROM NOW ON I CAN'T REALLY ESTIMATE THE TIME ACCURATELY)
T +0:50 - I went to the bathroom to drink from the sink, and than I've discovered the mirror.
I remember me feeling like a god, and making those "animalistic-about to attack" kind of face expressions.
the "come-up" seems to be over(it probably won't), and at this point I remember me thinking to myself "I'm completely insane, I totally lost it, I totally love it, and I definitely want more".
T+~1:00 - I took the zip-lock bag, it was almost empty(but there was plenty of powder stuck to the edges), I've poured water into the bag, gave it a nice mix and drank it from a cup(it seems irresponsible, but I've actually planed to take the rest of the bag if I would feel comfortable with the 50 mg trip).
T+ ~1:05 - I've stayed in the bathroom, I remember thinking taking my shirt off, and estimate it probably because "I'm feeling hot so this is my instincts telling me to cool off".
T+ ~1:10 - I couldn't really know what my body felt. my senses went crazy(so as I), everything moved(but I could still see good enough to move).
Sounds were changing pitch repeatedly, sounds began to speed up and slow down repeatedly, and there was kind of an echo(but it sounded so realistic, I've simply heard words and sounds repeating themselves clearly). but I was still incredibly happy, manic, self loving, I felt superior as a god that everyone should kneel for(I was exactly like the guy in here at 2:14), and insane(in a good way). I knew it's was too much happiness and euphoria(in my deep mind) but I couldn't care less.
TILL THIS POINT I HAD 0 ANXIETY.
T + ~1:40 - I heard my name being shouting by my dad, so I've instinctively answered "what?"(biggest mistake I made, I shouldn't have answer and he would think I was asleep), He shouted "come down stairs", I answered "O.K" for some reason(I could have said I'm in the bathroom, I could have said I'm in bed, etc). I stayed up, he called me again and again, so I eventually came down stairs.
it took him about 2 seconds to see I'm high as fuck. just happens my cousin(older than me) was there as well(they both looked weird).
So I told him(with a smile that I couldn't take off my face) I took mushrooms.
so he said: "Again?(FTR, the last time I took psychedelics was at least 3-5 mounts ago) I've told you already I don't allow that"
And the anxiety begins about here:
"it's one step before rehab, and at your age? what if you'll be stuck like that forever?"
"it may destroy your life, you mess up with your brain".
I know it sound pity, like I blame others over my own actions, but I truly believe my father is the main cause to my anxiety and panic attack..
so he told me to go upstairs, and that we will talk afterwards when I'll be able to(I drifted, and couldn't really use words).
T +~1:43 - I've got upstairs, the smile is definitely gone from my face, and my father's words echos in my mind.
I had the same thoughts as before, but I looked at them in a whole different light: "I lost it", "I became insane", and my favorite: "what if it mess my head up for good?"
I believed that the only thing that might mess me up is the anxiety itself.
Because after a while, I might believe in the anxious thoughts about how i damaged for life(and it will lead to damaging my life).
T +~1:50 - So I decided to go to an hospital in order to get some benzos to set me down.
But my dad said "no", he said that it will screw up my future, he calm me down(I wasn't in visible panic, and I talked in a calm tone).
T +~1:55 - the anxious is gone, we went on a ride in the car to pick up my sister.
couldn't feel anything, I couldn't understand the concept of feelings(happiness, sadness, anger, anxiety, boredom...). I wasn't a person, I was a blank page.
The visuals was unbelievable, like a movie. I saw letters on a bus just scramble and change order, buildings looked like pictures, the ugliest place in town never looked so beautiful. I
T +~2:00 - I remember seeing a guy with a faceless mask(just like the mask from "The Wall(Pink Floyd)".
followed by another one, and only when I realized everyone at the street had no face - I come to the conclusion it must be an hallucination.
It was so realistic: men an women, children and elders - All without a face, just skin.
T +~2:30 - We've return home.
T +~4:00 - I couldn't sleep so I watched "Louie CK stand-up shows", comedown finally STARTED.
T +~7:00 - I finally fall a sleep.
T +~14:00 - I woke up to school, completely normal, none side effects what-so-ever, not even slight hangover - JUST GOOD AS NEW.
But since then(2 months after), I find myself happy far more often then before.
I definitely planing to try this again sometime(this time with Etizolam in my pocket).
-
I you were able to understand most of what I wrote, you probably a genius(or my English teacher did a fine job).
I would very much appreciate it if you're be willing current my awful grammar, so everyone else will be able to understand it as well.
thanks
