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4-HO-DET, second time, Finding depth in a shallow world

roliepolie

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 15, 2001
Messages
1,309
Location
Oz
Setting:

a foggy morning in the Poconos Mountains. The sun is rising over a rock face. It's 5:30 in the morning and rather nice outside... a fair weathered day so far. The temp. is a moderately brisk 65 degrees F. I'm thinking lately about moving back home to my old home state, but in doing so it would cause me to have to leave some family and friends behind and I feel as though I am betraying them somewhat by doing so. I felt as though this would be a good issue for me to explore on this substance as in my previous use it wasn't overly intense, yet still felt as though it could take me somewhere. My previous dosage of 15mg Oral seemed a bit low in retrospect, and I figured a rather large upping of the dose would be in order. This isn't a recommendation. It's a report.

Being chemically similar to Psylocibin in structure and effects is what originally lead me to this substance. I have since found that it is only barely related in the experience for me. I also thought this would be better for my cause as Mushrooms tend to be quite overpowering for me. This provides me with *something* and I don't quite know what yet.

My mindset, reasons for ingestion, past experience, etc are above.

Dosage: 30mg oral, 10mg oral t+4:00, 35mg ketamine nasal t+4:00

I carefully weighed out 30mg of the off-white substance(+/- 1mg) and ingested it with 3 ounces of orange juice.

I sit and focus my attention towards some of the issues affecting my life as of late and gather some objects which I feel will be useful during the course of todays events.

t+00:15- things are beginning to become noticable. Slight sense of a change around me that I cannot place. I begin to write random words in a notebook until I catch one that sends an idea through my head which I feel comfortable writing about. This is a tool which was taught to me by my old highschool English teacher when I had a bad bout with writers block. Nothing notable sticks out, but it is often fun to look back and watch the progression of random thought as I play a solo game of word association.

t+00:30- the world around me has definately become alien. the feeling of coming up is much more intense than I recall this experience being previous. I put my pen down and take a step out my back door to a scene of sheer beauty. I take off my shoes at this point and walk barefoot in the wet grass as I slowly proceed over to a cliff overlooking a valley from the line of my yard. the view is amazing! the thoughts are running through my head at an incredible rate.

"who created such beauty?" "I wonder if other people's perceptions of a view like this would be that of awe, or one of being trapped in the wilderness." "I wonder how those around me perceive me... the way I look, talk, act, think... am I the kind of person that I would hang out with on a Friday night?"

"Is it worth doing something that you feel is holding you back, if only to please those around you?"

And with that question, I proceed indoors to some Ambient music and thought.

t+01:00 the experience is now at a very high plus two(++), and fast approaching a moderate plus three(+++). Visuals are present, but more of a shifting of objects, bending and brightening of lights, smoke(with no apparent source) etc... but the visuals aren't what I think should be highlighted about this experience, or this marvelous substance. I take my spot on the couch and close my eyes to meditate. Surely anything that I had planned to analyze during this trip wouldn't be well served by my forcing it. I think it's best to let this one take you were it will.

I'd like to note that at this point I do notice SOME *MINOR* similarities to Psylocibin that I hadn't experienced previously. It was mellow, yet it lets me know that it is still very much there and a force to be reckoned with. Over all I've lost track of time at this point and the peak effects have taken hold. Visuals pick up only slightly in intensity and depth. Again, the emphasis of this chemical, for me, was the psychedelic-not hallucinagenic. Eventually, my mind did wonder back through the do course of the experience to what I had planned on meditating on.

For some time now I've been living in Pennsylvania by my mother. She and my stepfather(who raised me, so really he's my father) were divorced when I was just getting out of highschool. I wasn't overly focused on it though, because I was leaving the house soon enough anyway. I tried to fight thinking about it and dealing with it like I should have, and as a result alienated both of my parents. I got into an argument with my father and was kicked out of the house. So I had to live with my mother, who I had made myself to believe had abandoned us to go and find herself.

Long story short, she moved to PA, from Kansas City to be with a new man and lately I've been resenting her for leaving me, and mainly for leaving my dad and my brothers(who really need her).. for her own selfish desires.

Upon further analyzation, we were never happy as a family. And the divorce is long overdue. But her leaving the state was unforgivable. I just couldn't leave my children(one of them is 9) to fulfill my own desires. They come secondary to the needs of your children, IMO.

But the real issue is that I moved out here to be near her and now I'm finding that I only did it because she wanted me to, and that I hate it here. But to leave will really hurt her... I'm torn between doing something that I need to for myself and staying and being loyal at a cost to myself to someone who I don't feel has been loyal to me.

In the end I've decided that I need to do what is good for me first and foremost. She'll live, As did I. But I've also decided not to harbor any more ill feelings towards her, as she was being true to what she needed to do as well. And how could I do that to her and expect understanding, if I wouldn't provide the same courtesy.

Anyways...

at t+4:00(9:30) I decide that I'm going to see if this drug works for boosting hte experience. I eat 10mg oral, and do a threshold dose of ketamine nasal, 35mg.

No real boosting effect was noticed. The ketamine came on weakly(as intended)... nothing to note there...

Overall the experience was a sound (+++)

I don't think I have anything left to gain from this chemical. I'll probably flush it or give it to a friend. It was a throughly fun time. The visuals were great, I simply chose not to emphasise them. They are good if you want to know, but aren't what this is about, IMO.
 
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Nice report... I wish I had access to all these exotic trytamines and phens like you seem to =D
 
Good report!

I have removed all the off-topic replies as requested by a few people now. Let's keep it clean and civil now! Thanks..
 
roliepolie - how did you find the stimulation of this compound? - I've tried the dosage range of 20-24mg which is quite speedy but has little psychedelic effect apart from some introspection, tryptamine visual clarity and a body turn on. I suspect I need 30mg or so to actually trip but am put off by the sharp uncomfortableness. I guess it was not much worse between 20 & 24mg. I can tell there is a good drug in there but it is a little sour

I have to agree there is barely any similarity between ethacetin & psilocybin - there are obviously broad overlaps between various drugs but I wish people were more careful in what they exactly mean when comparing drugs if such comments are not to be more misleading than helpful.
 
yeah it amazes me too - you know MGS it eventually took me 23mg 2C-E to get a solid +++ with visuals? - a nice level not over bearing. I think 25 would be strong

The ethacetin I sampled is in fact 50/50 ethacetin/ethocin for clarity althought this should make little practical difference
 
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