construct
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2009
- Messages
- 146
T + 0:00 12mg 4-AcO-DMT
T + 1:30 12mg 4-AcO-DMT
Nitrous and small amounts of DMT inhaled throughout the duration
Since this was my first time trying 4-AcO-DMT, I choose to take a relatively low dose of 12mg and decide later whether or not I would supplement that with an additional 12mg after the effects were felt.
I took the initial dose at 8:00 p.m. in my parent’s house after a productive and fulfilling day while on break from school. Twenty minutes in, the effects became noticeable, and they increased in intensity over the next hour. Anxiety became present, and while it was similar to the tension I have experienced on mushrooms, it was not as confusing or delusional. I did a total of four canisters of nitrous—two at a time—and a hit of DMT to decide whether or not to take the remaining 12mg. I have been somewhat averse to high-dose territory after some overly-powerful experiences from accidentally taking too much chemical. I realize the benefits high doses can offer that lower doses sometimes do not, so I decided to set aside my fear for hope that the experience would have more depth.
It did! I decided to take the supplemental dose one and a half hours in at 9:30. I began pacing around my room. My thoughts were flowing optimistically in a clear mind. I was strangely stimulated—from what I had read this was a relaxing and even potentially flooring experience. Looks like I spoke too soon—some thought I don’t remember rudely interrupted my peaceful dream, and I became somewhat confused and exhausted. I sat down, noticing a pleasurable and benevolent current charging throughout my body as well as an intensification of visuals. The experience continued to climb.
I began to melt into the chair I was sitting in. I covered up in a blanket—a sentimental object from my early life. The symbols on the blanket, the way it felt, and the colors on it constituted a childhood archetype built into my mind representing comfort, warmth, and security. Nice! Before, this chemical did not contain spiritual overtones, but now they began to spiral into my psyche from every direction. The profundity of it all! The unfathomable paradox of existence! The hopeless beauty of humanity. Countless dualities entered my mind: two concepts seemingly in opposition to each other, which, at the same time, could not exist without each other. Thoughts of this general nature became a steady motif for the remainder of the night. I would oscillate between joyful understanding of the perpetual give and take of existing into and out of a mindset of guilt concerning those opportunities in the past that I feel I had not fully taken advantage of or acted improperly in. It was fairly easy to enter a blissful trance, but I was also happy to simply let thoughts come and leave according to whatever laws my unconscious brain follows. The Native American blankets my mom keeps around the house were powerful symbols demonstrating eternity and infinity, and they were a welcome addition to the theme of the trip. Obscure yet fantastic dreams I have had recently rose from my unconscious and I deeply felt the almost heart-rending beauty and strangeness they subjectively represented, and for once could almost grasp their complex relation to my everyday experience of reality.
As the peak started to decline around 1:00 a.m. (four hours after the initial 12mg), I became aware that my constant giggling was probably not going unheeded by parents upstairs (although this may have been a delusion) and would be awkward, if not totally suspicious, considering I told them I was going to bed about three and a half hours prior. I proceeded to turn out the lights and lie down on my bed. I spent the next two hours (1:00-3:00 a.m.) in darkness on my bed. I thought it might have therapeutic benefit, but instead I entered a period of existential analyzation and was bombarded by continuous negative thoughts. I won’t go into too many details, but there was self-battery along the lines of, “If I die one day and experience no afterlife, what point do I have to live now? I am unoriginal and uncreative; I give nothing positive to humanity. Are people ACTUALLY going to read through a trip report I posted on the Internet and is my experience in any way comparable to the intelligent people who have already pioneered all this!?”
Finally I decided to become proactive in ending my suffering and leaving behind my fear, and turned on the lights and moved to another part of my house. This wasn’t enough to completely turn the trip around, but it was much nicer than what I was previously experiencing. I did several nitrous bulbs (admittedly too many, too compulsively), but I was able to center myself once again and free myself from the irrational fear that was holding me back. I smoked one hit of DMT (I am still hesitant to go too far because of a somewhat psychologically traumatizing ayahuasca experience I had when I was 18) and was suddenly in awe at the significance of every single molecule. It was spiritually relevant and certainly had a nice antidepressant effect after that earlier existential discomfort! I got into my bed around 3:30 and fell asleep surprisingly easy.
This was worthwhile. I feel it would have been more beneficial if the setting was different, but I am constantly learning more about my individual preferences regarding set and setting, so I harbor no complaints. I would like to mention I only listened to music for about 20 minutes throughout the night—it was only a distraction, for the most part.
4-AcO-DMT reminded me of the more positive effects of mushrooms without the negative effects—it was clear-headed with less anxiety. However, I still find it difficult to compare the two in some ways. The euphoria felt different to me. The ability to dissolve into egoless comfort was similar. My remembrance of what it was like to be a human was more intact than on mushrooms. I will stop making comparisons here until I become more experienced with both.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_4acodmt
substancecode_tryptamines
substancecode_nitrous
substancecode_dissociatives
_combo_
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
roacode_oral
roacode_inhaled
T + 1:30 12mg 4-AcO-DMT
Nitrous and small amounts of DMT inhaled throughout the duration
Since this was my first time trying 4-AcO-DMT, I choose to take a relatively low dose of 12mg and decide later whether or not I would supplement that with an additional 12mg after the effects were felt.
I took the initial dose at 8:00 p.m. in my parent’s house after a productive and fulfilling day while on break from school. Twenty minutes in, the effects became noticeable, and they increased in intensity over the next hour. Anxiety became present, and while it was similar to the tension I have experienced on mushrooms, it was not as confusing or delusional. I did a total of four canisters of nitrous—two at a time—and a hit of DMT to decide whether or not to take the remaining 12mg. I have been somewhat averse to high-dose territory after some overly-powerful experiences from accidentally taking too much chemical. I realize the benefits high doses can offer that lower doses sometimes do not, so I decided to set aside my fear for hope that the experience would have more depth.
It did! I decided to take the supplemental dose one and a half hours in at 9:30. I began pacing around my room. My thoughts were flowing optimistically in a clear mind. I was strangely stimulated—from what I had read this was a relaxing and even potentially flooring experience. Looks like I spoke too soon—some thought I don’t remember rudely interrupted my peaceful dream, and I became somewhat confused and exhausted. I sat down, noticing a pleasurable and benevolent current charging throughout my body as well as an intensification of visuals. The experience continued to climb.
I began to melt into the chair I was sitting in. I covered up in a blanket—a sentimental object from my early life. The symbols on the blanket, the way it felt, and the colors on it constituted a childhood archetype built into my mind representing comfort, warmth, and security. Nice! Before, this chemical did not contain spiritual overtones, but now they began to spiral into my psyche from every direction. The profundity of it all! The unfathomable paradox of existence! The hopeless beauty of humanity. Countless dualities entered my mind: two concepts seemingly in opposition to each other, which, at the same time, could not exist without each other. Thoughts of this general nature became a steady motif for the remainder of the night. I would oscillate between joyful understanding of the perpetual give and take of existing into and out of a mindset of guilt concerning those opportunities in the past that I feel I had not fully taken advantage of or acted improperly in. It was fairly easy to enter a blissful trance, but I was also happy to simply let thoughts come and leave according to whatever laws my unconscious brain follows. The Native American blankets my mom keeps around the house were powerful symbols demonstrating eternity and infinity, and they were a welcome addition to the theme of the trip. Obscure yet fantastic dreams I have had recently rose from my unconscious and I deeply felt the almost heart-rending beauty and strangeness they subjectively represented, and for once could almost grasp their complex relation to my everyday experience of reality.
As the peak started to decline around 1:00 a.m. (four hours after the initial 12mg), I became aware that my constant giggling was probably not going unheeded by parents upstairs (although this may have been a delusion) and would be awkward, if not totally suspicious, considering I told them I was going to bed about three and a half hours prior. I proceeded to turn out the lights and lie down on my bed. I spent the next two hours (1:00-3:00 a.m.) in darkness on my bed. I thought it might have therapeutic benefit, but instead I entered a period of existential analyzation and was bombarded by continuous negative thoughts. I won’t go into too many details, but there was self-battery along the lines of, “If I die one day and experience no afterlife, what point do I have to live now? I am unoriginal and uncreative; I give nothing positive to humanity. Are people ACTUALLY going to read through a trip report I posted on the Internet and is my experience in any way comparable to the intelligent people who have already pioneered all this!?”
Finally I decided to become proactive in ending my suffering and leaving behind my fear, and turned on the lights and moved to another part of my house. This wasn’t enough to completely turn the trip around, but it was much nicer than what I was previously experiencing. I did several nitrous bulbs (admittedly too many, too compulsively), but I was able to center myself once again and free myself from the irrational fear that was holding me back. I smoked one hit of DMT (I am still hesitant to go too far because of a somewhat psychologically traumatizing ayahuasca experience I had when I was 18) and was suddenly in awe at the significance of every single molecule. It was spiritually relevant and certainly had a nice antidepressant effect after that earlier existential discomfort! I got into my bed around 3:30 and fell asleep surprisingly easy.
This was worthwhile. I feel it would have been more beneficial if the setting was different, but I am constantly learning more about my individual preferences regarding set and setting, so I harbor no complaints. I would like to mention I only listened to music for about 20 minutes throughout the night—it was only a distraction, for the most part.
4-AcO-DMT reminded me of the more positive effects of mushrooms without the negative effects—it was clear-headed with less anxiety. However, I still find it difficult to compare the two in some ways. The euphoria felt different to me. The ability to dissolve into egoless comfort was similar. My remembrance of what it was like to be a human was more intact than on mushrooms. I will stop making comparisons here until I become more experienced with both.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_4acodmt
substancecode_tryptamines
substancecode_nitrous
substancecode_dissociatives
_combo_
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
roacode_oral
roacode_inhaled
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