engineercchad
Bluelighter
I'm not even talking about the protracted benzodiazepene withdrawal syndrome effects.
I've always been sort of a social train wreck in every way. The world is so highly drug-oriented beyond what most people who haven't been there and done that seem to "get."
Is it normal to be happy that you got where you are but also sort of ashamed of where you've been and actually very angry when someone wrongly assumes or makes jokes and laughs that you're high when you're not?
I was at work (3rd shift, clinical laboratory setting, so use your imagination people here are...... loopy to begin with.) and last week gave myself a pretty bad cut on my finger that required an ER visit and four stitches (working on the car, opening a tool with my big nasty pocket knife).
One of the women that runs specimens from the receiving and aliquot (splitting) area assumed I was high on pain killers. I was in pain, very tired (took the night off the night before, obviously the "fun" from the day didn't allow me to get much of a nap before coming in for my regular shift beginning at 9pm) and sort of out of it. They hadn't prescribed anything at the ER (wasn't needed nor would have been accepted) for anything and she started to laugh and joke that I was how I was because "There's Chad, poppin them pills!" (second encounter, first one I responded with "you sound like you know ALL ABOUT THAT, don't you?!") and I was frustrated and actually got pretty close to being enraged with the entire situation. I took to responding with a low volume yell and even told her that I "can't stand when people run their GD mouths just to hear their own F*kn gums slap together!" and actually (in retrospect) could've easily lost my job which so much is dependent on right now.
I guess I'm just trying to figure out if anyone can relate? I hate when people project their own lifestyle on me and just accept it without even knowing who I am (I may be wrong but this is the case 9 times out of 10.)
BTW: it's been quite a while since I was on. If anyone remembers any of the postings from before I have my 6 going on 7 month old son now, had to move and got married 1st of August and somehow (despite all the stresses of financial instability and a baby on the way) stayed clean through it all.
I've always been sort of a social train wreck in every way. The world is so highly drug-oriented beyond what most people who haven't been there and done that seem to "get."
Is it normal to be happy that you got where you are but also sort of ashamed of where you've been and actually very angry when someone wrongly assumes or makes jokes and laughs that you're high when you're not?
I was at work (3rd shift, clinical laboratory setting, so use your imagination people here are...... loopy to begin with.) and last week gave myself a pretty bad cut on my finger that required an ER visit and four stitches (working on the car, opening a tool with my big nasty pocket knife).
One of the women that runs specimens from the receiving and aliquot (splitting) area assumed I was high on pain killers. I was in pain, very tired (took the night off the night before, obviously the "fun" from the day didn't allow me to get much of a nap before coming in for my regular shift beginning at 9pm) and sort of out of it. They hadn't prescribed anything at the ER (wasn't needed nor would have been accepted) for anything and she started to laugh and joke that I was how I was because "There's Chad, poppin them pills!" (second encounter, first one I responded with "you sound like you know ALL ABOUT THAT, don't you?!") and I was frustrated and actually got pretty close to being enraged with the entire situation. I took to responding with a low volume yell and even told her that I "can't stand when people run their GD mouths just to hear their own F*kn gums slap together!" and actually (in retrospect) could've easily lost my job which so much is dependent on right now.
I guess I'm just trying to figure out if anyone can relate? I hate when people project their own lifestyle on me and just accept it without even knowing who I am (I may be wrong but this is the case 9 times out of 10.)
BTW: it's been quite a while since I was on. If anyone remembers any of the postings from before I have my 6 going on 7 month old son now, had to move and got married 1st of August and somehow (despite all the stresses of financial instability and a baby on the way) stayed clean through it all.
