So after some research on the internet and positive input from some of my friends I decided I wanted to try a research chemical. I called my friend (reliable & close) to get me some, and he did. 2 pills. 10mg/each. He told me and another friend to open them and snort it but we decided to swallow them instead.
At approx 1am we took the pills and began watching a movie. Around 2:30 I started to feel "something". The faces in the movie were creepily distorting. My friend by that time hadn't felt a thing. I started feeling really weird and I wanted to be around people, so at that time we left to a small afterparty that was happening at my friends house. The drive there was fucked, passing street lights, cars, nothing looked right. I didn't feel safe. I was laughing uncontrollably at things that wouldn't normally have me in stitches. The first feelings of discomfort were setting in.
When I arrived at my friends house they were all having a great time coming off of GHB and chatting. Peoples eyes started to scare me again. I couldn't look at anyone as they talked. I tried to keep my cool, and remember to enjoy the experience. I made my friend turn on some music and tried dancing (something that always makes me feel better). And I was feeling a little bit better until feelings of uncertainty, regret, anxiety and hate started to swarm over me. I was in a good enviroment with people that I like, I don't understand what went wrong here... WHATEVER-- I couldn't deal with it anymore. I needed to go home. Now.
By this time on the way home I kept asking my friend, "Are you feeling anything yet?" and he kept responding, "No." He was very quiet. Said he was tired, couldn't wait to get into bed. By the time I got home it was probably around 4:00, I was straight flipping the fuck out. I felt like I was being noisy, I felt one of my family members was sure to find me in this state and I wouldn't be able to deal with the situation. I felt like the way I felt was never going to end. I kept reminding myself that it would. I decided I would lay in bed in complete darkness with tons of blankets surrounding me as "protection" (from what? I'm not sure). So I layed there. Terrible feelings still there. I can't even discribe the discomfort they were. They were everything I never wanted a drug to be. I got a text message from my friend that I dropped with, it said "Holy fuck." He was feeling the same thing that I was feeling. Telling him to calm down helped me calm down. The lack of stimulation from being in my room alone in the dark was not good for my state. I couldn't stop thinking about how horrible I felt (though I never felt physically bad).
At this point I shed some blankets, they were discomforting me along with everything. I needed something happy, something wholesome. It was 5:00am, I thought cartoons must be on. I was flipping through channels, news was on - I couldn't believe some of the sick and twisted violent shit the news had on at that time of day. All I wanted was fucking cartoons. Finally I found some. I layed there. Listening not watching. I felt like I wanted to die. I contemplated calling an ambulance a few times (but what would they do, put me to sleep? I figured this nightmare would be over soon enough.) So I waited, minutes felt like hours. I occupied myself by thinking of how much I hated this experience until 7:00am when I finally fell asleep. I woke up around 9:00, I finally felt almost normal again and as the day progressed I was back to my old self. But what a nightmare.
The next day my friend reported the same feelings. In hindsight I probably shouldn't have been left alone, that probably would have made the experience much more tolerable.
Maybe in that entire experience I enjoyed myself 2% of the time.
This drug is definitely not for me.
At approx 1am we took the pills and began watching a movie. Around 2:30 I started to feel "something". The faces in the movie were creepily distorting. My friend by that time hadn't felt a thing. I started feeling really weird and I wanted to be around people, so at that time we left to a small afterparty that was happening at my friends house. The drive there was fucked, passing street lights, cars, nothing looked right. I didn't feel safe. I was laughing uncontrollably at things that wouldn't normally have me in stitches. The first feelings of discomfort were setting in.
When I arrived at my friends house they were all having a great time coming off of GHB and chatting. Peoples eyes started to scare me again. I couldn't look at anyone as they talked. I tried to keep my cool, and remember to enjoy the experience. I made my friend turn on some music and tried dancing (something that always makes me feel better). And I was feeling a little bit better until feelings of uncertainty, regret, anxiety and hate started to swarm over me. I was in a good enviroment with people that I like, I don't understand what went wrong here... WHATEVER-- I couldn't deal with it anymore. I needed to go home. Now.
By this time on the way home I kept asking my friend, "Are you feeling anything yet?" and he kept responding, "No." He was very quiet. Said he was tired, couldn't wait to get into bed. By the time I got home it was probably around 4:00, I was straight flipping the fuck out. I felt like I was being noisy, I felt one of my family members was sure to find me in this state and I wouldn't be able to deal with the situation. I felt like the way I felt was never going to end. I kept reminding myself that it would. I decided I would lay in bed in complete darkness with tons of blankets surrounding me as "protection" (from what? I'm not sure). So I layed there. Terrible feelings still there. I can't even discribe the discomfort they were. They were everything I never wanted a drug to be. I got a text message from my friend that I dropped with, it said "Holy fuck." He was feeling the same thing that I was feeling. Telling him to calm down helped me calm down. The lack of stimulation from being in my room alone in the dark was not good for my state. I couldn't stop thinking about how horrible I felt (though I never felt physically bad).
At this point I shed some blankets, they were discomforting me along with everything. I needed something happy, something wholesome. It was 5:00am, I thought cartoons must be on. I was flipping through channels, news was on - I couldn't believe some of the sick and twisted violent shit the news had on at that time of day. All I wanted was fucking cartoons. Finally I found some. I layed there. Listening not watching. I felt like I wanted to die. I contemplated calling an ambulance a few times (but what would they do, put me to sleep? I figured this nightmare would be over soon enough.) So I waited, minutes felt like hours. I occupied myself by thinking of how much I hated this experience until 7:00am when I finally fell asleep. I woke up around 9:00, I finally felt almost normal again and as the day progressed I was back to my old self. But what a nightmare.
The next day my friend reported the same feelings. In hindsight I probably shouldn't have been left alone, that probably would have made the experience much more tolerable.
Maybe in that entire experience I enjoyed myself 2% of the time.
This drug is definitely not for me.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
