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2C-E overdose left me shattered

G

Glaive

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 15, 2011
Messages
64
Today is the day after a particularly painful 2C-E experience.

I unintentionally took a large dose of 2C-E after I foolishly re-dosed after becoming impatient for effects. I underestimated the come up time of my initial 20mg dose and was convinced I had not taken enough after waiting 2 hours with no effects. I took a 30mg dose thinking I needed more than before. The next twelve hours was the most painful experience of my life. I had the most disturbing gore-filled sexual and violent images playing though my head the entire trip. On top of it I was huddled in a sweaty mess while holding the painful knot in my stomach that I was unable to purge. In addition I had convinced myself I had consumed what I was calling 'demon blood', and saw this neon blue liquid all over my skin.

When the trip finally ended I slept for a good 6 hours. After waking up I was able to go about my day fairly normally for a few hours. Then slowly, I couldn't help but only think about the negative aspects of my life. The main reoccurring thought was that I was letting my parents down and becoming a failure. I hold a lot of guilt about my usage and grades.

My dreams and aspirations when I was little seem so far out of reach now. I would be lucky to achieve just half of what I imagined I could do. In elementary school I was the very top of the class, I wanted to achive, I studied what I loved and was ahead of those my age. Middle school I still had grades going and was in all honors classes and gifted learning programs, but was losing interest in my hobbies. During High school I fell down to all regular classes. I no longer was above-average and my love for computers turned into only using them for gaming and drug research. I finished with an ugly GPA, and settled on my backup-backup college. Now that I am living alone in college I lost the one thing keeping me afloat, which was the motivation my parents gave me to scrape by high school. My grades are down to almost all Cs now. I miss the tears of joy from my parents in seeing my straight A report card, I will never see that again. I feel like all the guilt I have been suppressing has been surfaced at once.

I want to be a little kid again and not have to have to worry about anything and have my parents take care of me. I want to be that carefree seven year old boy again and play pokemon curled up in my bedroom. My childhood was so ideal, and it devastates me to know that I will never be able to experience that again. My parents were not only my guardians, but my best friends at the time. I never hid anything from them they saw me as their perfect only child. Is it normal to have these kind of childhood thoughts? Can anyone relate to this?

I'm not sure how or if my drug use is related to this thought pattern. But I do know my usage and grade slip have some correlation. I don't think I am addicted, and I really only use psychedelics and psychedelic research chemicals. I don't drink and hate the feeling of a slow thought process or fogginess that alcohol or some other drugs give. LSD and DMT are my favorites for their ability to make my mind feel 'clear' and at peace. My parents would never guess I use them. I know I am still a smart kid, but my grades just aren't reflecting that at all. Another underlying factor may be the fact that I was VERY sheltered. Being an only child of two extremely successful individuals meant every need I had was met and I feel VERY grateful for all they have done.

I have never wanted to change my life more than now. As of now I disposed of the 2C-E, and plan on staying away from everything for a good while. I know my issue might seem miniscule compared to those life-threatening situations other users post about, but my 2C-E trip made me realize I am weak and need to do something about my guilt. I admire the intelligence of the average bluelight user and look forward to hearing any kind of positive thoughts, suggestions, relations, or anything else. I feel even weaker for having posted this and admitting to my child-like wishes, but I think it is important I get these feelings expressed. Thankyou for reading and letting me express my thoughts. I love you mom and dad <3.
 
I want to be a little kid again and not have to have to worry about anything and have my parents take care of me. I want to be that carefree seven year old boy again and play pokemon curled up in my bedroom. My childhood was so ideal, and it devastates me to know that I will never be able to experience that again. My parents were not only my guardians, but my best friends at the time. I never hid anything from them they saw me as their perfect only child. Is it normal to have these kind of childhood thoughts? Can anyone relate to this?
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I think everyone has them, but I can tell you after abusing drugs for six years and ruining relationships all over the place, that feeling only grows stronger. I did have a pretty good childhood, and as you grow up you want to go back to that innocence.

2CE 40mg snorted left me with a TON of guilt, I wonder if that is a common theme. Mine turned into how pathetic it was I couldn't go a day without a substance, yet people starve to death. I became so jaded with how the world worked and how selfish I had become. It was one of the hardest trips I had that year, (Until I almost got stabbed on 2ci/acid on NYE breaking up two friends fighting, talk about giving up on humanity) and based on those two trips, I haven't touched them in two months.

I would say it was a good thing if you are able to integrate what you learned, and it seems you are at least now aware that your aspirations are not lining up with what your doing in life. The first step is becoming aware of the problem. It doesn't seem like you were psychologically scared, which is a good thing, or any mental slowdowns, though its a bit early if its only been a day. You have to realize you are off the path, and you've done that. Just as you think of these previous thoughts, feed off them, give them deep thought as you seem to have by this post. With psychedelics its all about integration, taking what you experienced and turning it into something.

Drugs will for some people derail school, I'm sure there are people who got a doctorate while keeping a drug habit, but everyone including myself has not fit that bill. Not everyone is the same as me, but I started off with psychedelics and slowly got into other things. That wreaked havoc on my school life, I'm still wanting to go back 6 years after graduating HS. Pot for me was the worst personally, but it got to the point with my anxiety if I wasn't on ups/downers I didn't go to school. I just have so many Withdraws / F's it seems hopeless.

You need to take that guilt, and use it to motivate you. Its not even close to too late for you, and by being open here and being honest with yourself you can change. You did the next step by laying off the drugs, good job. Now focus on school, a part of growing up is being on your own. I was a smart kid also growing up, but I was lazy since I felt I could do anything. Just because you don't have your parents pushing you, doesn't mean you don't have the same drive as you once did. Try to impress yourself :)

I do wonder, what other drugs do you do other then psychedelics? Or do you trip very often, Ive seen people do that with the RCs, classics don't let you do that, diminished returns :)

I hope I was helpful, makes me feel better about my situation with helping others.
 
Great advice ^

OP: It's not too late to reform a relationship with your parents. You may have to chose between drugs or school, because for some people that just doesn't work. Even if you aren't willing to do that right now, keep it as a thought in the back of your head :) Please be careful with redosing RCs!
 
Please have more respect for powerful mind blowning psychedelics. 2C-E can actually physically kill you if you take too much. This is not LSD.

That being said, sounds like you had an awakening, even if it was horrifying. Don't be a fool and now slip into true hard drugs. Take time and process not what happened, but what is happening.
 
2c-e is the harshest of all 2c-x from what i read - had you done this with 2c-b ud probly have been more than Okay however redosing with RCs should be very careful - they often take a while to effect you - 2 hours could easily be the time it takes to feel full effects if not longer IME
 
Harsh, how so? 2C-B is probably physically worse for you, and 2-CT-7 a lot easier to die on, but if dosed right, CT7 is probably the beset in that series.
-I'm done going off track here.
 
To start with let me say I was very stupid for taking so much 2c-e. I know how strong it was, but after waiting 2 hours on it with no effects, I was convinced my batch was bunk. I usually am a lot more cautious and I even do allergy tests with every new batch. This was actually my first bad trip. Everyone eventually has their first bad trip, I just wish mine didn't have to kick my ass THIS hard.

Tass - Thank you so much for your response. I feel like you truly understand the kind of guilt I am feeling, which is that of failure towards the goals my parents and I laid out for myself at a young age. So it sounds to me like you also suffered or are suffering from motivation problems as well. How are you doing now? Have you gotten your drive back, if so how? I also think it is amazing we both had terrible guilt after 2c-e, what are the chances? I wonder if that is common for 2c-e overdose, or even phenethylamines as a whole.

And to answer your question, I really don't use anything besides psychedelics. I actually like amphetamines and am prescribed adderall. I thought it would be addictive, but I actually have no problems with it and don't even take it every day. Don't crave it. I have tried pot various times, and it just didn't do anything for me. No euphoria or significant anti-anxiety effects. Just sleepy, even after a good 30-minute smoke session. As far as my frequency with psychs goes...it's kinda ugly. I rationalize my usage by telling myself I'm ok because I only take each individual drug only once a month or every other month. The problem is that I started to collect quite the inventory, and while waiting for my LSD month cooldown to be over, i still had at least 5 other things that were not on cooldown that I felt I could take safely. Probably really bad....anyone else do/did this?

n30phtye - If you read this, I got your PM. I can't reply though because your PM box is full!
 
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Glaive said:
I also think it is amazing we both had terrible 2c-e experiences, what are the chances?[/B] I wonder if that is common for 2c-e overdose, or even tryptamines as a whole.
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That's only someting you can answer yourself. Knowing your dosage, and if you indeed even got 2C-E, vs. (what I'm thinking) more along the lines of a DOx compound (they, like mescaline, take a good 2-3 hours to kick in), certainly helps.

2C-E is not a tryptamine either. It's VERY hard to physically OD on a tryptamine. Phenethylamine are a whole different boat. Mars / Venus imo.
 
Glaive said:
And to answer your question, I really don't use anything besides psychedelics. I actually like amphetamines and am prescribed adderall. I thought it would be addictive, but I actually have no problems with it and don't even take it every day. Don't crave it. I have tried pot various times, and it just didn't do anything for me. No euphoria or significant anti-anxiety effects. Just sleepy, even after a good 30-minute smoke session. As far as my frequency with psychs goes...it's kinda ugly. I rationalize my usage by telling myself I'm ok because I only take each individual drug only once a month or every other month. The problem is that I started to collect quite the inventory, and while waiting for my LSD month cooldown to be over, i still had at least 5 other things that were not on cooldown that I felt I could take safely. Probably really bad....anyone else do/did this?

n30phtye - If you read this, I got your PM. I can't reply though because your PM box is full!
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Thanks mate, I've cleared out my inbox now :)
But I'll just reply in here, please feel free to PM me any time though <3

Okay, firstly I think it is important for you to have a break from psychedelics (and all substances, at that), for a good few months at least. Give yourself a chance to recouperate after this nasty experience. I can relate to the type of guilt you're feeling after such an ego-shattering trip, but please remember that these negative feelings will subside over time. As tass said, you can use the feelings of guilt to motivate yourself to make positive changes in your life.

If you could be different, what would you change? Do you have an attainable goal that you can work towards?

Also, I understand your rationale in alternativing the substances that you use each month and having "cooldowns", but please remember that they are all essentially working on the same neurotransmitters in the brain so you're actually not really giving yourself a break at all, even though you're cycling the substances you're using. How often do you take any substance?

Keep your head up, try not to be hard on yourself, and take care <3
 
Oh man, that's embarrassing, I defiantly meant phenphalamine, all of the 2C series are phenos.

And your right Dexter about it possibly being mislabeled. Certainly if compounds like DOI or DOB are cheaper. Although I was familiar with what 2c-e is supposed to look like. It certainly fit the bill. Very sticky and almost clumped up, was strangely light also, entire package minus bag weighed 120mg, but looked to be closer to 300mg compared to other chemicals.
 
I took my first 20mg dose around 8pm, then after two hours of no effects took the 30mg dose.

Came up very fast close to 11pm. Almost all of the trip seemed to be a plateau, and effects lasted for 11 hours. Although I fell asleep still tripping at 9am. I was pretty much baseline when i woke up at noon.

I tried to shower at 7am still under effects, was very hard. I kept thinking I was in girls portion of the dorm's shower system, it looked so foreign. Looking back who knows, maybe I was in girls showers.
 
I did notice that 2c-e has a max plateau of 10 hours, so looking at just length might not be revealing enough.

50mg of any of the DOx compounds would be a heroic dose. I could not find any reports even close to this amount.

In addition I would find it very unlikely I would be sold a DOx compound if they were more expensive than 2c-e unless it was honestly mislabeled. Not sure of values.
 
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Oh ya, I wasn't paying attention to dosage. Still sounds like a DOx, and it could have easily been cut. Or.. it could have been 2C-P. That stuff lasts very long on me. Though 2C-P is even more powerful by weight than 2C-E iirc, at least as far as how blasted you get, not physical effects (leaving neuronal activity out).
 
Just to play devil's advocate....does it really matter what substance it was exactly??
 
More like Mother Theresa.

He needs to reconnect with his parents. I have some friends that can easily handle snorting some 2C-E and eating out at a resteraunt with their parents. It's not the drugs, it's him.

Well done neo.
 
Glaive said:
I want to be a little kid again and not have to have to worry about anything and have my parents take care of me. I want to be that carefree seven year old boy again and play pokemon curled up in my bedroom. My childhood was so ideal, and it devastates me to know that I will never be able to experience that again. My parents were not only my guardians, but my best friends at the time. I never hid anything from them they saw me as their perfect only child. Is it normal to have these kind of childhood thoughts? Can anyone relate to this?
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Such feelings are common even among people who didn't feel they had a great childhood. A lot of people talk like functioning as an adult is easy and to be taken for granted, but I don't agree. It can be difficult and frightening, especially (but not exclusively!) when it's new. So please don't pick on yourself for craving to feel loved and protected. That's part of being a human animal. :)
 
Well as soon as I thought I was pulling through, yesterday I started breaking down regularly again. Haven't slept in a day.

I am coming home from college for the weekend to sit and talk this out with my parents. You guys are right something is very wrong with me, I need this weekend with my parents, even if it means admitting my drug usage.
 
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