amanitadine
Bluelighter
* background* I'm an avid psychonaut of the last almost 20 years. The past few years were notably void, due to incarceration and a few lost years to opioids and GABAergics. A few weeks ago, having been cleaned up and somewhat stable for some months, I decided to re-enter the foray with a dedicated and deliberate once weekly tripping session. Innaugural was easy and splenid (2C-C, 74 mg on halloween, seperate trip report coming 
) and am slowly "moving up the ladder". Reports of Sashas stroke were weighing heavily and thoughtfully on my mind, and I woke up to a crisp, sunny autumn saturday and decided it would be a great day to explore one of Sashas and Anns Favorites, 2C-B.
T-0:00 36 mg weighed out and dissolved in O.J....my mate takes 28mg. Stomachs mostly empty, it is shortly after 1:00 p.m. I had some granola 3 hrs earlier.
Commence to pack a day pack, bringing some water and cigs, and lots of warm clothes. Clear and beautiful out, fall colors everywhere, but kinda windy so it feels quite cold. Wind is whipping across the river delta, catching sea-spray and reflecting in the sun. Crock pot full of beans and goodies is left on (a much appreciated Ann Shulgin must; I'm doing this one right
) and we say bye to the dog and take off on foot.
T-0:10 My first alerts are felt. I always get a first alert within minutes; my mate reminds me that years of psychedelics and self analysis have left me neurotically self-aware and to just chill...heheh. My stomach tightens a bit and my head feels a bit foggy, for lack of a better term. We are walking briskly, and warm up quickly.
T - 0:30 - starting climb now, literally and figuratively. We had been walking on level ground, following the river from its mouth at the ocean inland, and then start to climb up uphill away from the river to a park with a commanding view. The colors are starting to scream out and blur, and I'm having to spit out slug slime-esque spit. In order to reach said park we have to cut through town, and I'm automatically wary of this as I'm climbing fast. My heart rate feels accelerated and I'm starting to feel flushed and with a slight tremor. We opt to just barrel through town and get somewhere where we can have a proper rest.
T-0:50 - we made it through town relatively unscathed and crash land at an elementary school playground bereft of seats save for a few swings. The combination of heavy walking, cold air, and quick climb has me feeling not so hot. I dont remember 2C-B having such a rough come-up.......I wanna be somewhere safe and quiet, and this aint quite it. I automatically start to swing gently on the swing....not a good idea! A bout of strong nausea passes over me, and I can see my heart beat reverberating through my visual field. Slightly panicked, spitting more..must get to the woods! We resume walking uphill.....
T- 1:20 - after a mad scramble and some serious indecisiveness we end up in the shelter of some woods. A small clearing beaming with sunshine beckons us. We plop down, lean against each other, and close our eyes. I start humming a quiet mantra.
Nice. Having reached safety and letting our bodies calm down is exactly what was needed. I sink into a quiet revery, with amazing CEVs. I've been picking mushrooms daily the last two months, for table and for spirit, and my hallucinations are suprisingly organic, flowing fungal forms and petri dishes of bacterial cultures. Very different from my usual cliched psychedelia of 2C-B. Energy pulses through our bodies and wherever there is contact between us glows. I'm reminded of 2C-Bs inherent erotic qualities.
T - 1:40 - the woods are alive with animal noises, and my eyes are still closed. A particularly intense squirrel lets out a shrill 20 sec chirp, causing us both to laugh and open our eyes. WOW! The first few times I took 2C-B back in the early 1990s I was blown away with how obscenely visual it was. It has never quite been like that since but I still get some good mileage out of it. The oranges, yellows, and reds of the leaves look astounding against the bright neon green of the moss and the evergreens deeper colored foliage. Bright yellow lichens look like electricity and everything has dew on it which prismatically refracts the suns light. My brain feels suprisingly empty, and I remember that you have to feed 2C-B to get the most out of it. I start to think on my life as of late, these amazing compounds, and the role they have played. I havent been tripping much for a while, got distracted by bummer drugs, and then spent a few years incarcerated, for my involvement with psychedelics, including this gem, 2C-B. Was it worth it? What did I achieve? I am suffused with a calm glow, strangely at peace, and recognize that it is what it is. I cant change what I did. I can only change how I am gonna react to these things. With these thoughts my body load just *disappears*. I gaze about, seeing a friendly, sweet, and sad world, but not in a depressing way. I see the best of intentions, marred by the cruel hand of reality, and it looks dorky and cute. Birds are chirping and flying, people are walking their dogs, and everything is bathed in the golden-orange-yellow glow of autumn, which for me is the 2C-B spectrum. I look over at my mate, and she has the same look on her face, and we nod and smile in agreement. We decide to keep walking.
T - 2:00 walking feels great now, and everywhere I look I see beauty. This feels almost as peaceful as an MDMA plateau but not nearly as forceful and much more grounded in reality. Having broken through a veil of sorts 20 minutes ago my brain and body feel light and waves of buzzing energy go from toes to fingertips every few seconds. We stand at an overlook that gives us a fantastic view of the river, the town, and lowlands. I start to think about Sasha and his recent stroke. I marvel at the beauty of his work, of his and Annes relationship, and what it must be like to grow old, spend 30 years with someone, tripping together regularly. My CEVs now consist of swirling phenyl rings and I sit down, close my eyes, and let the warm sun wash over my face. I see the 3,4,5 trimethoxy substitution of mescaline, spinning, swirling. I see it shift to 2,4,5, and see methoxys shift to methyls, to halogens..I see methyls tacked onto the alpha position..I am following, seeing, Sashas thought processes over years condensed into a brilliant kaleidoscoping power point presentation. I am marvelling at how many countless lives these ball and stick brainstorms have effected. I start thinking of Sashas wicked sense of humor, his puns, and his penchant for vocabulary....his dirty pictures and his dirtier jokes, and what it must be like to be so self aware, to be 85, and to have a stroke. What is a stroke? What is 85? This is all very peaceful, and everything seems in the right place. Everything that has happened, has happened, and that is the best, and only reason I need. I havent felt this at peace in some time, and my entire body is glowing. 2C-B is primarily a somatic experience for me, but within that titillation of the senses a deeper peace can be found. It came easy today, and I feel my chi flowing like it should. Nice. We stand back up, smiling, and start bushwhacking down the hill.
2:45 - we are walking along a quiet highway, with the river to our left. every now and then a car passes and I am enchanted with how silly and vulnerable everybody looks while they are driving. They look kind of self conscious, and I cant help but laugh at each little microcosm that passes. Great blue herons, cormorants, bald eagles, and ducks are all doing their thing in the water next to us. The sun is hinting at setting, and the few clouds their are on the horizon start to light up, twisting and morphing. The water catches and reflects the low sunlight and everytime I look I get caught, transfixed. Such beauty, that is always here, why do I forget to look? Things have been rough, sure, but at this moment I dont have a single regret. I am actually loving myself, and to love me requires loving every experience I have had, both the "bad" and the "good", for they have made me who I am. I grip my mates hand, and she squeezes back. We exchange knowing smiles. Two seagulls are fighting over a doritos bag. The ditch is strewn with garbage. We hear insane carnival-esque music and a lowered mini truck zips by, muffler (or lack thereof) gurgling and throbbing, and we catch sight of the driver through the windows, a young mexican wearing silly sunglasses with an outrageous goatee. His norteno music blares...some sort of putrid polka. We burst out laughing. Everything is in its right place!
T - 4:00 after a 9 mile trek we make it home just as the (outrageously) full moon rises. We are wet and tired and feel good. The house is warm and smells of our bean laden crock pot. Mmmmm. I put on some music ("something else" by the Kinks) and we pull off our wet clothes and end up diving into bed to warm up. Our bodies feels so good in the dark and warmth. Erotic turns out excellent, I love that about 2C-B. I'm still having some great CEVs. We lay around for abit, and get up to eat. God bless crock pots! Great appetite, I love that about 2C-B as well. A belly full of food grounds me, and I sit by the fireplace, leafing through old National Geographics. Today, was exactly what I needed, and reminded me of the immense potential for restorative growth with entheogens. I first got into psychedelics with the spirit of exploration, and explore I did. I've been fortunate to have a life that has revolved around them, but I've also paid the price. And, today, I've had the pleasure of glimpsing what it feels like to not carry around regrets for a few precious hours.. Its a start. With deliberation, and mindfullness, one can use these amazing tools to both explore and restore.
T- 7:00 I am mostly down by now. I make a cup of chamomile tea and put on the ambient album by the Olivia Tremor Control. Peaceful. My last act of the day, as a belated thank you, is to donate a small sum to Sashas medical bill fund. Thank you for everything, good sir, you've done a number I hope to see you again some day. Blessed be.
Cheers.
) and am slowly "moving up the ladder". Reports of Sashas stroke were weighing heavily and thoughtfully on my mind, and I woke up to a crisp, sunny autumn saturday and decided it would be a great day to explore one of Sashas and Anns Favorites, 2C-B.T-0:00 36 mg weighed out and dissolved in O.J....my mate takes 28mg. Stomachs mostly empty, it is shortly after 1:00 p.m. I had some granola 3 hrs earlier.
Commence to pack a day pack, bringing some water and cigs, and lots of warm clothes. Clear and beautiful out, fall colors everywhere, but kinda windy so it feels quite cold. Wind is whipping across the river delta, catching sea-spray and reflecting in the sun. Crock pot full of beans and goodies is left on (a much appreciated Ann Shulgin must; I'm doing this one right
) and we say bye to the dog and take off on foot.T-0:10 My first alerts are felt. I always get a first alert within minutes; my mate reminds me that years of psychedelics and self analysis have left me neurotically self-aware and to just chill...heheh. My stomach tightens a bit and my head feels a bit foggy, for lack of a better term. We are walking briskly, and warm up quickly.
T - 0:30 - starting climb now, literally and figuratively. We had been walking on level ground, following the river from its mouth at the ocean inland, and then start to climb up uphill away from the river to a park with a commanding view. The colors are starting to scream out and blur, and I'm having to spit out slug slime-esque spit. In order to reach said park we have to cut through town, and I'm automatically wary of this as I'm climbing fast. My heart rate feels accelerated and I'm starting to feel flushed and with a slight tremor. We opt to just barrel through town and get somewhere where we can have a proper rest.
T-0:50 - we made it through town relatively unscathed and crash land at an elementary school playground bereft of seats save for a few swings. The combination of heavy walking, cold air, and quick climb has me feeling not so hot. I dont remember 2C-B having such a rough come-up.......I wanna be somewhere safe and quiet, and this aint quite it. I automatically start to swing gently on the swing....not a good idea! A bout of strong nausea passes over me, and I can see my heart beat reverberating through my visual field. Slightly panicked, spitting more..must get to the woods! We resume walking uphill.....
T- 1:20 - after a mad scramble and some serious indecisiveness we end up in the shelter of some woods. A small clearing beaming with sunshine beckons us. We plop down, lean against each other, and close our eyes. I start humming a quiet mantra.
Nice. Having reached safety and letting our bodies calm down is exactly what was needed. I sink into a quiet revery, with amazing CEVs. I've been picking mushrooms daily the last two months, for table and for spirit, and my hallucinations are suprisingly organic, flowing fungal forms and petri dishes of bacterial cultures. Very different from my usual cliched psychedelia of 2C-B. Energy pulses through our bodies and wherever there is contact between us glows. I'm reminded of 2C-Bs inherent erotic qualities.
T - 1:40 - the woods are alive with animal noises, and my eyes are still closed. A particularly intense squirrel lets out a shrill 20 sec chirp, causing us both to laugh and open our eyes. WOW! The first few times I took 2C-B back in the early 1990s I was blown away with how obscenely visual it was. It has never quite been like that since but I still get some good mileage out of it. The oranges, yellows, and reds of the leaves look astounding against the bright neon green of the moss and the evergreens deeper colored foliage. Bright yellow lichens look like electricity and everything has dew on it which prismatically refracts the suns light. My brain feels suprisingly empty, and I remember that you have to feed 2C-B to get the most out of it. I start to think on my life as of late, these amazing compounds, and the role they have played. I havent been tripping much for a while, got distracted by bummer drugs, and then spent a few years incarcerated, for my involvement with psychedelics, including this gem, 2C-B. Was it worth it? What did I achieve? I am suffused with a calm glow, strangely at peace, and recognize that it is what it is. I cant change what I did. I can only change how I am gonna react to these things. With these thoughts my body load just *disappears*. I gaze about, seeing a friendly, sweet, and sad world, but not in a depressing way. I see the best of intentions, marred by the cruel hand of reality, and it looks dorky and cute. Birds are chirping and flying, people are walking their dogs, and everything is bathed in the golden-orange-yellow glow of autumn, which for me is the 2C-B spectrum. I look over at my mate, and she has the same look on her face, and we nod and smile in agreement. We decide to keep walking.
T - 2:00 walking feels great now, and everywhere I look I see beauty. This feels almost as peaceful as an MDMA plateau but not nearly as forceful and much more grounded in reality. Having broken through a veil of sorts 20 minutes ago my brain and body feel light and waves of buzzing energy go from toes to fingertips every few seconds. We stand at an overlook that gives us a fantastic view of the river, the town, and lowlands. I start to think about Sasha and his recent stroke. I marvel at the beauty of his work, of his and Annes relationship, and what it must be like to grow old, spend 30 years with someone, tripping together regularly. My CEVs now consist of swirling phenyl rings and I sit down, close my eyes, and let the warm sun wash over my face. I see the 3,4,5 trimethoxy substitution of mescaline, spinning, swirling. I see it shift to 2,4,5, and see methoxys shift to methyls, to halogens..I see methyls tacked onto the alpha position..I am following, seeing, Sashas thought processes over years condensed into a brilliant kaleidoscoping power point presentation. I am marvelling at how many countless lives these ball and stick brainstorms have effected. I start thinking of Sashas wicked sense of humor, his puns, and his penchant for vocabulary....his dirty pictures and his dirtier jokes, and what it must be like to be so self aware, to be 85, and to have a stroke. What is a stroke? What is 85? This is all very peaceful, and everything seems in the right place. Everything that has happened, has happened, and that is the best, and only reason I need. I havent felt this at peace in some time, and my entire body is glowing. 2C-B is primarily a somatic experience for me, but within that titillation of the senses a deeper peace can be found. It came easy today, and I feel my chi flowing like it should. Nice. We stand back up, smiling, and start bushwhacking down the hill.
2:45 - we are walking along a quiet highway, with the river to our left. every now and then a car passes and I am enchanted with how silly and vulnerable everybody looks while they are driving. They look kind of self conscious, and I cant help but laugh at each little microcosm that passes. Great blue herons, cormorants, bald eagles, and ducks are all doing their thing in the water next to us. The sun is hinting at setting, and the few clouds their are on the horizon start to light up, twisting and morphing. The water catches and reflects the low sunlight and everytime I look I get caught, transfixed. Such beauty, that is always here, why do I forget to look? Things have been rough, sure, but at this moment I dont have a single regret. I am actually loving myself, and to love me requires loving every experience I have had, both the "bad" and the "good", for they have made me who I am. I grip my mates hand, and she squeezes back. We exchange knowing smiles. Two seagulls are fighting over a doritos bag. The ditch is strewn with garbage. We hear insane carnival-esque music and a lowered mini truck zips by, muffler (or lack thereof) gurgling and throbbing, and we catch sight of the driver through the windows, a young mexican wearing silly sunglasses with an outrageous goatee. His norteno music blares...some sort of putrid polka. We burst out laughing. Everything is in its right place!
T - 4:00 after a 9 mile trek we make it home just as the (outrageously) full moon rises. We are wet and tired and feel good. The house is warm and smells of our bean laden crock pot. Mmmmm. I put on some music ("something else" by the Kinks) and we pull off our wet clothes and end up diving into bed to warm up. Our bodies feels so good in the dark and warmth. Erotic turns out excellent, I love that about 2C-B. I'm still having some great CEVs. We lay around for abit, and get up to eat. God bless crock pots! Great appetite, I love that about 2C-B as well. A belly full of food grounds me, and I sit by the fireplace, leafing through old National Geographics. Today, was exactly what I needed, and reminded me of the immense potential for restorative growth with entheogens. I first got into psychedelics with the spirit of exploration, and explore I did. I've been fortunate to have a life that has revolved around them, but I've also paid the price. And, today, I've had the pleasure of glimpsing what it feels like to not carry around regrets for a few precious hours.. Its a start. With deliberation, and mindfullness, one can use these amazing tools to both explore and restore.
T- 7:00 I am mostly down by now. I make a cup of chamomile tea and put on the ambient album by the Olivia Tremor Control. Peaceful. My last act of the day, as a belated thank you, is to donate a small sum to Sashas medical bill fund. Thank you for everything, good sir, you've done a number
I hope to see you again some day. Blessed be.Cheers.
Last edited:
