I haven' t read a lot of trip reports yet. I don't know if somebody wants to make fun out of mine. It was a very personal experience, hard to understand if you're not me, nonetheless so beautiful that I had to share it! My story is very detailed, probably because this is one of my first psychedelics experiences, and I'm really excited about it 
.
p.s. In normal circumstances I would never have made the conclusions below...
Set and Setting
It was a regular Friday on which I had planned to study for school. Because I have ADD/ADHD, I'm required to take methylphenidate (Ritalin) to enhance my concentration. One of the side-effects of this medication (for me) is that it induces from time to time a mild depression on the 'coming-up'. Today was one of those days. My mind was drifting away pretty quickly and I lost interest in my work and started to think about all kinds of things. I've encountered this side-effect before, and normally I can get over it pretty well. This time, I decided to not just let it go...
My first psychedelic was mostly concentrated about the visual aspect. I was really amazed by the beautiful visuals of 2C-B. This time, I wanted to see what other potentials it had. I hoped to do some introspection and confront myself with some of the emotionally unresolved issues that the mild depression remembered me about. I had no particular goal in mind. I only wanted to see where the trip would end this time.
I toke 25 mg of 2C-B (accurately measured with a 1mg scale). To fill in the time until the substance became active, I started looking for some fancy art on the internet. I remembered watching some pictures an artist (on LSD) made. It turned out that one particular drawing of him determined the rest of my trip.
The anatomy of the brain.
About 40 minutes after ingestion, I was noticing the first effects. The walls started to breath, and the text on on my screen started to bend. Still unaware of the later impact of the drawing and its symbolism, I started looking at random art. Waiting for something nice to happen, my attention was caught by the following picture:
It wanted to tell me something, but what? I toke a closer look at it and started noticing all kind of things. I modified the picture and labeled some parts such that you can follow the story better.
The first thing I noticed was my own face in the drawing located at (1). I was wearing glasses and I was smiling. Why was that? What could this possibly mean? Not very enthusiastic yet to answer these questions I started looking at other parts of the drawing. I saw in the men's ear, located at (2), some kind of demonic creature. It didn't scare me off, but I found it strange why I was seeing this. Was there some connection? Why was my face located at the mouth of the person and why was the demonic creature located at the ear? The next thing I discovered was (3). This seemed to be some kind of path one needed to walk, located at the center of the brain (coincidence?). The black vertical lines on the right and the black shaded region on the left were trees. These things were perfectly drawn in perspective such that it was very realistic this was a path. I also noticed that the end of the path was the men's eye (4). The line the artist drew through the glasses, made me realize that when I would walk this path, I will have a new perception on reality (looking through the men's eyes). Also notice that there is a line from the demonic creature intersecting the path.
The 4 major components of the brain.
I finally saw a connection! In order to let you fully understand, I'll recapitulate what I saw:
(1) My own face located at the mouth. Why was I wearing glasses?
(2) A demonic creature located at the ear. Why did I see something evil?
(3) A path, located in the center of the brain, which I needed to walk. What will I learn if I walk this path?
(4) The men's eyes. Would this give me a new perception on reality?
I now proposed an answer to these questions. My face located at the mouth must have meant that I had to say something. The glasses I was wearing myself indicated that I would not see the answer myself. The demonic creature located at the ear indicated that what I had to say, would really be shocking to hear. The lonely road I needed to walk (intersecting the line from the demonic creature) indicated I needed to search for answers myself. The men's eyes indicated that in the end (of the road) I would have a new perception on reality. Yes, this was the answer! I figured it out. I gave myself some time to relax because I had been thinking pretty hard. After the break I wanted to find out what I would learn on the road.
The path
I was tripping pretty heavy now. I felt muscular tension in my hand and my neck. I was sweating and drinking a lot of water. Some moments later a shocking image entered my mind: I saw two people having sex in the park. The female was wearing a wedding dress. Both persons did not have a head which I was able to recognize (it was blurry). They were both standing up, faces to each other. Was I the male person, and was the female person the fictional character Julia? Was she willingly having sex with me?? I became very scared now and I jumped two meters away from the computer screen, speaking for the first time loud up: "No, that's impossible, I would never hurt her, I love her too much".
Intermezzo: So who is Julia? Julia is a girl I was in love with a few years ago. We were never in love though. She's still one of my best friends. During the past years I've shown interest in many other females, but none had a place in my heart like she had. Supposeably I'm over her for a long time now. However, sometimes I still feel sexual attracted to her, even though I don't want a sexual relationship. This mostly happens on occasions when I'm a bit too drunk or seriously lack sleep. I've wondered before if this makes me some kind of pervert, after all she's one of my best friends, and one shouldn't think about his friends like that... I have felt bad about this, but never got into it...
There were two things I could do now: back off (since I can control 2C-B very well and get out of it anytime) or search for answers. I chose to do the latter. I had to know! I started looking at some pictures of us and other friends. I was browsing some pictures taken at a party. On one of them she was licking a friend of mine his ear (just acting stupid camera-wise - nothing else). Suddenly, she lost some 'humanness'. I'm not sure how I can explain this. I started to degrade human beings to animals. Like if we were all primates. The fact that she was licking the guy's ear brought up some symbolism about females: to seduce, to be the attractive ones, temptation... I watched myself on another picture on which the same thing happened: I degraded myself to a primate too. Now it came to me that on the level of primates we all had urges in common: sexual lust, temptation,... These things were built into nature. There was nothing to be ashamed about. Everybody has them, and there is no reason to feel bad about them or even deny them. This was a relief.
I decided to get back to the main issue: who were the 2 people having sex? Was the female willingly having sex? I looked at a picture of me and Julia, holding each other's arms, in a very friendly way. I tried to see something, but nothing violent happened. The only thing I could see on the picture was "love". It's hard to describe how one can see "love", but it was there! I was taking notes about this trip, but it had been a while since I wrote something down. The next thing I wrote down was.....
In the end, love is all what matters.
I wrote this down in English, which is not even my native language. When staring at the picture again the emotions started to accumulate and were getting more intense. I was listening to trance music and the music was heading to a climax. It was really beautiful, impossible to describe; the visuals were getting more intense and peaked at the climax! It all made sense now! There is no reason to feel bad about sporadic sexual interest. I'm by no means at all some kind of pervert or mentally-ill person. It's one of nature's most natural things. I realized how happy I am with our current relationship as friends. I'm indeed over her, ready to move on. I learned some valuable things about sexuality, things I would never have thought about in a normal state of consciousness: amazing!
Conclusion:
There were clearly two parts in this trip. The first part I'm trying to understand the anatomy of the guy's brain. The second part I'm looking for answer for the sexual image. I don't know how related they are. But I had to tell something (1). The image was very shocking (2). I had to look for answers myself (3). I have acquired a complete new perception on relationships, sexuality... (4).
I hope my story was not too complex to understand. It all makes sense for me, but it's very unlikely this is the case for you. I don't know if you find it funny, or if you want to make fun out of it. Just keep in mind that it all was very personal.
substancecode_2CB
. p.s. In normal circumstances I would never have made the conclusions below...
Set and Setting
It was a regular Friday on which I had planned to study for school. Because I have ADD/ADHD, I'm required to take methylphenidate (Ritalin) to enhance my concentration. One of the side-effects of this medication (for me) is that it induces from time to time a mild depression on the 'coming-up'. Today was one of those days. My mind was drifting away pretty quickly and I lost interest in my work and started to think about all kinds of things. I've encountered this side-effect before, and normally I can get over it pretty well. This time, I decided to not just let it go...
My first psychedelic was mostly concentrated about the visual aspect. I was really amazed by the beautiful visuals of 2C-B. This time, I wanted to see what other potentials it had. I hoped to do some introspection and confront myself with some of the emotionally unresolved issues that the mild depression remembered me about. I had no particular goal in mind. I only wanted to see where the trip would end this time.
I toke 25 mg of 2C-B (accurately measured with a 1mg scale). To fill in the time until the substance became active, I started looking for some fancy art on the internet. I remembered watching some pictures an artist (on LSD) made. It turned out that one particular drawing of him determined the rest of my trip.
The anatomy of the brain.
About 40 minutes after ingestion, I was noticing the first effects. The walls started to breath, and the text on on my screen started to bend. Still unaware of the later impact of the drawing and its symbolism, I started looking at random art. Waiting for something nice to happen, my attention was caught by the following picture:
It wanted to tell me something, but what? I toke a closer look at it and started noticing all kind of things. I modified the picture and labeled some parts such that you can follow the story better.
The first thing I noticed was my own face in the drawing located at (1). I was wearing glasses and I was smiling. Why was that? What could this possibly mean? Not very enthusiastic yet to answer these questions I started looking at other parts of the drawing. I saw in the men's ear, located at (2), some kind of demonic creature. It didn't scare me off, but I found it strange why I was seeing this. Was there some connection? Why was my face located at the mouth of the person and why was the demonic creature located at the ear? The next thing I discovered was (3). This seemed to be some kind of path one needed to walk, located at the center of the brain (coincidence?). The black vertical lines on the right and the black shaded region on the left were trees. These things were perfectly drawn in perspective such that it was very realistic this was a path. I also noticed that the end of the path was the men's eye (4). The line the artist drew through the glasses, made me realize that when I would walk this path, I will have a new perception on reality (looking through the men's eyes). Also notice that there is a line from the demonic creature intersecting the path.
The 4 major components of the brain.
I finally saw a connection! In order to let you fully understand, I'll recapitulate what I saw:
(1) My own face located at the mouth. Why was I wearing glasses?
(2) A demonic creature located at the ear. Why did I see something evil?
(3) A path, located in the center of the brain, which I needed to walk. What will I learn if I walk this path?
(4) The men's eyes. Would this give me a new perception on reality?
I now proposed an answer to these questions. My face located at the mouth must have meant that I had to say something. The glasses I was wearing myself indicated that I would not see the answer myself. The demonic creature located at the ear indicated that what I had to say, would really be shocking to hear. The lonely road I needed to walk (intersecting the line from the demonic creature) indicated I needed to search for answers myself. The men's eyes indicated that in the end (of the road) I would have a new perception on reality. Yes, this was the answer! I figured it out. I gave myself some time to relax because I had been thinking pretty hard. After the break I wanted to find out what I would learn on the road.
The path
I was tripping pretty heavy now. I felt muscular tension in my hand and my neck. I was sweating and drinking a lot of water. Some moments later a shocking image entered my mind: I saw two people having sex in the park. The female was wearing a wedding dress. Both persons did not have a head which I was able to recognize (it was blurry). They were both standing up, faces to each other. Was I the male person, and was the female person the fictional character Julia? Was she willingly having sex with me?? I became very scared now and I jumped two meters away from the computer screen, speaking for the first time loud up: "No, that's impossible, I would never hurt her, I love her too much".
Intermezzo: So who is Julia? Julia is a girl I was in love with a few years ago. We were never in love though. She's still one of my best friends. During the past years I've shown interest in many other females, but none had a place in my heart like she had. Supposeably I'm over her for a long time now. However, sometimes I still feel sexual attracted to her, even though I don't want a sexual relationship. This mostly happens on occasions when I'm a bit too drunk or seriously lack sleep. I've wondered before if this makes me some kind of pervert, after all she's one of my best friends, and one shouldn't think about his friends like that... I have felt bad about this, but never got into it...
There were two things I could do now: back off (since I can control 2C-B very well and get out of it anytime) or search for answers. I chose to do the latter. I had to know! I started looking at some pictures of us and other friends. I was browsing some pictures taken at a party. On one of them she was licking a friend of mine his ear (just acting stupid camera-wise - nothing else). Suddenly, she lost some 'humanness'. I'm not sure how I can explain this. I started to degrade human beings to animals. Like if we were all primates. The fact that she was licking the guy's ear brought up some symbolism about females: to seduce, to be the attractive ones, temptation... I watched myself on another picture on which the same thing happened: I degraded myself to a primate too. Now it came to me that on the level of primates we all had urges in common: sexual lust, temptation,... These things were built into nature. There was nothing to be ashamed about. Everybody has them, and there is no reason to feel bad about them or even deny them. This was a relief.
I decided to get back to the main issue: who were the 2 people having sex? Was the female willingly having sex? I looked at a picture of me and Julia, holding each other's arms, in a very friendly way. I tried to see something, but nothing violent happened. The only thing I could see on the picture was "love". It's hard to describe how one can see "love", but it was there! I was taking notes about this trip, but it had been a while since I wrote something down. The next thing I wrote down was.....
In the end, love is all what matters.
I wrote this down in English, which is not even my native language. When staring at the picture again the emotions started to accumulate and were getting more intense. I was listening to trance music and the music was heading to a climax. It was really beautiful, impossible to describe; the visuals were getting more intense and peaked at the climax! It all made sense now! There is no reason to feel bad about sporadic sexual interest. I'm by no means at all some kind of pervert or mentally-ill person. It's one of nature's most natural things. I realized how happy I am with our current relationship as friends. I'm indeed over her, ready to move on. I learned some valuable things about sexuality, things I would never have thought about in a normal state of consciousness: amazing!
Conclusion:
There were clearly two parts in this trip. The first part I'm trying to understand the anatomy of the guy's brain. The second part I'm looking for answer for the sexual image. I don't know how related they are. But I had to tell something (1). The image was very shocking (2). I had to look for answers myself (3). I have acquired a complete new perception on relationships, sexuality... (4).
I hope my story was not too complex to understand. It all makes sense for me, but it's very unlikely this is the case for you. I don't know if you find it funny, or if you want to make fun out of it. Just keep in mind that it all was very personal.
substancecode_2CB
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