I don’t know about in other countries, but in Australia as far as I know there is no statute of limitations on sex crimes involving children. So in the example of Foreigner that would still be prosecutable. There is absolutely zero defence that a child consented. On the one hand if the child victim has grown up and feels no lingering negative effects then perhaps letting sleeping dogs lie makes sense. On the other hand there may be other victims who are more damaged.
As someone who was abused from age 7-9’ish. I’ve been regularly surprised to find through therapy just how many of my other problems in life (like relationships with people more generally and incurable substance abuse) track back to that abuse. Even though at the time I was kind of willing and certainly not forced at gunpoint (metaphorically speaking)). I think for many kids that willing participation is something they later feel most guilty about. Especially if it was a homosexual encounter and they grow up to find themselves straight or wanting to be straight. Perhaps vice versa to, when gay kids get abused by straight people?
Yeah... like I don't object to people thinking the adult is breaking the law. Clearly the guy I was involved with broke the law. But I was also having sex with my best friend who was also 13 years old. So what do people think about that? Two 13 year olds can't technically consent under statutory laws, but we were doing it and enjoying it a lot. Is it somehow better because we were both 13, even though the sex was (to be honest) pretty bad? Like why is it automatically bad just because an adult is involved? Yes, there is a power and experience disparity
for sure, but not all adults abuse that disparity. Some are VERY aware of it and wield it with consideration. Some say that sex with a minor, period, is inconsiderate -- I don't agree. It's not automatic like that, there are nuances. That's what happened in my case. I know these questions are controversial and make people uncomfortable, but seriously, it's another side of the reality we're talking about. And people don't want to talk about it because it creates a gateway to justify real abuse, which I understand. But I won't be talked down to or have my life narrative rewritten because of that.
My sexual awakening happened very early, I would call myself sexually precocious. I wanted to have sex asap and I was already trying to do things beyond my age pay grade, while some of my peers were still basically infantile in how they viewed the world. I grew up in a very normal family with zero sexual abuse or any history that can be found to explain this. I was just horny AF and early. This idea that I was raped, traumatized, etc. is just laughable. I couldn't get laid fast enough and my only limitation was having the know-how and the courage to go do it. I had zero qualms about wanting to have sex that early. This narrative that it's always harmful is just silly. There's bad sex and there's good sex, but I never had traumatic sex at that age. It was all innocent, pleasurable, and fun. Awkward at times, but not harmful. There are a lot of underaged people who have sex with older people. It's illegal, yes, but it's not always harmful. Sometimes it is very harmful. This idea that it is always harmful, always rape, and can only be bad, is just moralistic claptrap to me. Despite what some psychos in this thread think, I've discussed this at length with actual therapists and none of them think that I was harmed by it, even though it was certainly not legal or socially moral. I have real PTSD from completely different life events. I've been genuinely sexually assaulted twice, both times in my 20's, while on dates. I don't look upon my early sexual experiences as rapey whatsoever. People like PriestTheyCalledHim need to fucking check their unqualified selves.
I do understand that other young people in my position get fucked up routinely by adults. That's why I think the laws are a good thing. They
should exist. But in my case there was no harm, no foul. I didn't tell my parents or anybody else because I wasn't suffering, I was enjoying it. It was a fantasy and dream come true, and I actually learned a lot by being with an older man who was kind, considerate and moved at my pace. He wasn't the last much older guy I was involved with, but at those points I was 16+. Older men are just better. I have no interest in my peers, they're boring and inexperienced. Every partner I've had is 7+ years my senior, even now.
Your question about sexual orientation... I don't really get it. Being with an older man when I was 13 didn't make me gay. I was already having sex with my best friend, a male, who was also 13, well before I got with the older man. I don't think child molestation determines orientation. In the case of actual abuse, I think it can add an extra layer of trauma if the perp is not of the young person's sexual orientation, but I don't think it can change their orientation. The research does not bear that out.
I think gay men in general are more sexually liberated than straight people, so we don't view sex with the same level of restriction, or with the same values. In the adult gay world, gay men have sexual lifestyles that seem immoral or beyond the comprehension of a lot of straight people. So I'm considering that maybe that's one extra reason why my story doesn't fully land well with some. They're thinking about creepy older guys buggering helpless little girls - which is honestly the norm in the sexual abuse world. And while older men bugger male minors too, I think there is an element of gay culture that promotes the dad/son dynamic between consenting adults, that also translates to controversial sex with minors, that nobody wants to talk about. Practically all gay men I've ever met would never be with someone under aged, but like straight people, there's a minority who would. We're not talking being with children, but maybe a 17 year old. There's lots of jail bait out there on the dating apps, it's why the police monitor them with fake accounts. Pederasty is a real thing in human history -- adult men mentoring male minors in sexual ways. Our modern society forbids it, but it still happens regularly. Mind you, I'm not into the dad/son thing whatsoever. Older guys aren't my "dads" they're my boyfriends and equals. I'm just into hot sex with hot guys, when there is a good connection. I don't even hookup. I like to know the guy first.
Can those very early experiences shape sexual perception for life? Of course they can, and they do. Does that mean very young people should be avoiding sex completely? No, I don't think so. I was ready to have sex at 13. I was begging for it. I was happy when it started happening. If I never got to be with my math teacher I would've been with someone else, probably closer to my age group. The fact that my teacher fantasy became a reality was just the cherry on top of my explorations at that age. It was hot as fuck.
What I do notice is the gender bias. When a man sleeps with a minor, the man is always a pedo. When a woman does it, it's more celebrated. And when it's a man sleeping with a male minor, it gets THE WORST backlash. They're basically evil. It's the typical homophobic shit.
I think the only thing controversial here is that it's teachers doing it. It's outside their professional, custodial role. For me, that's the main problem. If we dig deeper and find out these minors enjoyed themselves, and that maybe in 10+ years they look back on it as non-problematic, then I think this is a non-issue. But of course, we will never hear their stories because minors are protected in the media (justifiably). And arguably, all the hoopla itself is going to convince them that they were abused and this was bad (and maybe it was). So the public, their communities and their families are already shaping their narrative for them, just like some idiots in this thread are trying to do to me. And maybe, if something traumatic really happened in sex with that female teacher, the reshaping of the narrative is going to help insulate them from some psychological harm. For me, I didn't walk away from it damaged, quite the contrary. I slept with my math teacher because he was my fantasy guy, not because he was my teacher. If I had met him anywhere else, it would've been the same thing.
so uh
Foreigner is a girl right?
Nope. Gay male.