24

I can't believe I'm turning twenty four on Thursday.

To older member's, this might sound trivial and lame, but I feel like I'm getting to that point where my age is starting to depress me. I guess it's not the age so much, but more of the place I'm at compared to those around me, who are as old, or younger. I've never even had my owne appartment, I've dropped out of college more times than I can count, and as of thursday I will have been smoking for nine year's straight. I guess it could be worse, I could be an amputee with hepatitus C, HIV, and no place to call home. My scabies could come back too, that would suck.

Today I went to school and it was boring as shit. My biology teacher act's like he's some fan of knowledge, and asks us to question him if he's not explaining something clearly, or to give suggestions on how to make the class more understandable. Of course some stupid girl immediately raised her hand and began complaining about how the guy format's the class. My teacher then interrupted her and went on an hour long tirade of righteousness in his own defense. So much for having an open mind.

I tried to draw on the train today, but my mind felt sort of foggy and confused, and the line's just weren't coming out right.

I bought this new type of Arnolds bread, "sweet potato bread". I was real excited to try it as I love potato bread, and I thought this might be some type of exotic spin off. It tasted just like Arnold's regular potato bread, and that kind of bothered me too.

So what good came of the day?

Well I stood in front of my mirror. and realized that I'm a pretty boy, and I got some crazy weird arms that are super flexible. Double jointed like a porn star.

 

everyone has their own path in life. i know all too well how easy it is to start comparing yourself to those that may have taken a more traditional path, but doing so will get you nowhere and it really is pointless. you're not stagnant and are working at ways of bettering your life now. you'll get to where you need to be in your own time.

 

I am so curious on how your artwork looks like... You should post some of it sometime haha its the artist in me, I love to see others work.

 

How bout trying out being a porn star... it'd be interesting!

 

Thanks guys, I'm definately going to look into porn if this art thing works out.

Xstayfadedx, I posted some pics in Second's under the thread share your artwork v. Bluelight's got talent, and bluelight definately does have talent

 

Don't worry about measuring yourself by other people's lives. I didn't move out until I was 29.

Want to hear something funny? I was miserable, depressed and angry about turning 20, but was tickled pink to turn 30. True story! There's no such thing as 'too late', until you're dead.

 

god my mind actually is starting to fail me. i turn twenty four today, not thursday...shit

 

I know how you feel... i think it's once you get past 20 your mind just starts to go south.

 

Happy birthday my lanky pretty sex slave puppet.

Xoxo from Captain Hep C Boris and pipe puppy jr.

The holy war begins today, its creeping from hanger 18

So gallently go to war tomarrow 24
and take anyone in your path down
Once you pass farrells and enter the abysse


I am writing more to my story by the way and sleep with you in my heart and in my mind.

 

Nobody has a perfect life. Your 24 years old and still have so much more to see and do. I felt the same way when I was that age. You will find your place in the world. Have you ever considered the medical field? You could help and relate to people who use drugs and give them something other professionals couldn't. I find my back ground to come in handy when I care for certain patients. Idk. Just a thought.

 

I've read several of your entires and I enjoy them because you write well. I can read it and my mind creates a scene I can watch. I turned 22 a couple months ago, and I , for some reason, feel sad and lost. You're just two years older than me. You're creating art and doing something. I'm not. I wish I could find something I like.
Anyways, happy birthday! I hope you have a wonderful 24!

 

Zoeylynn, I have thought about doing something in the medical field, I always thought I would make a pretty good methadone counselor to be honest. Being a moderator on BL has also given me a positive outlet for my knowledge of drug use, and is deeply sattisfying.

And XTCake,
when I was 22, I was doing nothing but moving from rehabs to extended care to halfway houses, relapsing along the way. I had given up on art, and didn't even think about writing. I really am happy that my words can translate well, I get a lot out of doing these blogs, as I'm not too good at fiction. IMO, everyone is good at something, creative or not. I follow your posts, and they are always strong and intelligent. I always new I was a creative person, so it was easy to eventually commit myself to art. Other people are not so lucky, but I believe if you search, eventually you will find something you love, and once you commit to it, you can become great.

 

I am turning 26 this month- that's like 40 in gay years.
I had scabies once- what a fucking nightmare.

go stand in the mirror some more