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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

24 year old addict in serach of advice

I'd stay off the alcohol. Read something online about them stimulating the same part of the brain as opiates. Can't remember exactly. Besides, giving in to this kind of craving (to just feel different), while not as bad as relapsing to opiates, is still bad. Rather than learn how to live a sober life you are replacing your DOC with one you like less. Is that really a solution? Alcohol is still a drug.

Do you have ADHD? I'd also avoid the adderall unless you've been diagnosed it. Sorry I can't remember if you mentioned this elsewhere.

You shouldn't take Tylenol 3 because codeine is an opiate and you are an opiate addict. Sure, it's a weak opiate, but it's still an opiate. It won't get you high, and with your past opiate tolerance, you probably won't even get much pain relief. It's just not worth the risk. It also sets your brain back from learning how to live without opiates.

Anyway congrats on the length of time you've gone. Keep it up and someday there will be relief if you work for it.
 
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Thanks generic. I appreciate your concern with the alcohol. I still will most likley have a beer every blue moon as that will be hardly enough to get me even buzzed. I know some use it to replace other doc but I have never been a big drinker and never could be. My stomach can only handle small amount and not consecutively. I will keep your opinion in mind.

I have been diagnosed with add since I was a child and have taken the adderall on and off my whole life and have never had an issue stoping. I don't know why but it doesn't effect me the same. I hate them. I thought it would give me energy but it only made me irritable.

As far as codeine what would anyone do for post surgery or something similar for pain? Just wondering if codeine is out of the questioning what do you do?

Thanks!
 
Was up late last night and couldn't sleep. Today extremely extremely depressed. Doubled my dose of welbutrin now taking 100 mg sr bid... Took adderall 20mg ir today because I can't even get enough strength to get out of bed. I just feel plain weird. Any one with experience can help with this? How do I get out of this depression and dysphoric state?
 
About alcohol - ok. I'm sure as long as you are careful and honest with yourself it will be ok.

If you were diagnosed with add, isn't it important to take the same amount everyday and at the same time? The same thing with the antidepressants. I'm pretty sure most anti-depressants take like 8 weeks to start working. I would expect that taking consistent doses and not varying them would be important for them to work properly. Then again I could be wrong, I don't know very much on the subject.

With regards to getting out the depression state, I know how it feels to be so goddamn unbelievably miserable and my advice might not be great but I'll try. Make sure you are eating and sleeping well. You need to find a reason to stay sober. Try to make goals or start doing things that you wouldn't normally do as a drug addict. What's the point in recovering if your life is going to be the exact same otherwise? You have to work towards improving your life before you can expect to feel better I think. This was true for me and I think it just makes a lot of sense too.

But most importantly know that how you feel is normal. You are only on day 16. You can't expect change overnight after 10 years of drug use. Making it this far is a huge achievement. Just keep pushing on.
 
Thank you generic.

As far as the Anti depressant welbutrin is a strange one. It actually has some immediate effects and peak plasma levels are achieved within a week. The doses of this medication is 100 150 200 300/day. I have been taking it at the same time around 9ish.

As far as the adderall I am not consistent on it and don't take it every day. This way I combat the dose tolerance.

I know I can't expect change over night but I don't understand how I hear that most people after two weeks feel the "opiate fog" lifting and are happier. I haven't gotten there yet and don't know what's going on with me.

Thanks again generic.
 
I know that trap! Don't let yourself fall into that. Don't judge your personal recovery based on other people's recovery. Everyone's is different. And I highly doubt most people are happier after 2 weeks.. I know it seems that way but it's just not. Just because a few people are happy 2 weeks clean doesn't mean you will be.

I felt just as crappy on day 50 as I felt on day 7. To be honest, one of my worst days was day 40ish, although that may have been because i had a slip up around day 30. I wasn't an opiate addict but it's all the same. I know that trap, thinking you can't get better, thinking that maybe just maybe it is impossible for you. You have to keep going. Long term relief does exist even though it seems so unbelievably impossible.
 
The "opiat fog" lifted for me right before the fifth month.. that happens when the last big group of opiate receptors shut down.. Please be patient and remember that you used for years and years thad. .. you didn't get to where you were at in two weeks so you will need a little more time than that to work your way out.. although you should have reached the point where you feel a little better each morning than you did the night before.. as far as relief from the fatigue, I found an amazing amount of relief from anxiety, depression and fatigue from the testosterone.. this may not be a good option for you as you just got married and if you are planning to have kids soon you will not want to get on TRT because if you start adding testosterone into your body your body stops producing its own and this in turn makes you pretty much sterile.. not for ever just as long as you take the testosterone.. the testosterone didn't work as amazing on the fatigue as it did on the depression and anxiety as well as helping me rebuild my pathetically week opiat addict body.. a combination of exercise and ritalin did the best with the fatigue and this was something that got just a little better each and every day and seemed to get better way faster when I kept moving in spite of.. sleep is another one.. yeah I can almost still only sleep four hours if I want but at least now I am able to sleep for ten hours if need be... just role with that as trying to take medication to combat this may allow for you to get more sleep but you will need allot more sleep because of the medication.. I only slept three or four hours night for at least the first six months. I think you have to look at certain parts of this realistically, there is no quick fix for some of this stuff, but it goes away pretty quick and all these symtopms will just be a bad memory soon.. way to keep digging and looking for solutions:D
 
Making it. Not extremely well but I guess. Haven't replased yet but things have not gotten any easier. Thanks for checking in and all the advice. I wish I could just find joy in life again...
 
Life is how we percieve it.. our perceptions are based on our thoughts.. we control our thoughts.. so we control how our life is. you will have to alter your thinking and your life will follow.. also now is the time to implement the exercise, meditation, salty fat and sweet foods, constantly giving yourself credit for doing the amazing job.. and most important you must change your thinking.. I know you are going to think I'm nuts but why are you choosing to have such a depressing time.. you have the chance at a whole new life here<3


here are some tools to changing your thoughts..

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/680481-Share-something-POSITIVE-from-your-day!

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/...ful-for-ver-2-thankful-for-all-the-darksiders!

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/661338-Post-something-that-inspires-you-vs-sharing-is-caring

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/680500-the-tds-video-thread-v-smile

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/685534-August-getting-staying-sober-v-you-can-do-it!

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/663215-Good-things-about-being-off-drugs-getting-sober

change your thinking shift it firmly into the positive and your life will follow.. you are doing amazing tham=D
 
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Great story. I read the whole thing. Idk what lortabs are? I want to only comment on the mental side. You must see an addiction therapist! I talk to my shrink one a month who gives me Zoloft and colonpin (?) but also knows about my drug addiction. We talk about how all of this effects my brain and the science behind it all. It's very interesting to have this perspective! I also have a weekly therapy session and I will soon be starting with an addiction therapist.

Talking it out and saying what you feel out loud to a stranger really opens yours eye as to who you are and helps you get to be the person you want to be. Coming to blue light has helped me but to honest there is no accountability here. We are just random people with no connections to your daily life so you don't owe BL anything, ya know.

I applaud your motivation and think your next move be therapy and see as many docs as you can! Whether free or through insurance you can find someone professional to help you. Even couples counseling can help considering you and your chick have been through some serious shit together. I'm now 39 and have been doing drugs since 1992! My life is a mess and I pray for you and your chick to beat this. Hopefully by the time you are 30 you can mentor kids about the absolute horrors of drug addiction!
Good luck! <3
 
Thanks to both of the above posts. Thanks for reading my story and giving some advice. Today I found a Lortab when pulling out my computer... Only half a Lortab. I wanted to take it... I'm tired of feeling like shit. Think some weed would be therapeutic to me. I haven't smoked in years. I believe in weed. Too bad I have none here...
 
Great job not taking it.. oh man. That'd be tough.

Different people have different opinions regarding weed. I'm extremely against using weed as a crutch to come off drugs unless you use it for physical withdrawals only. I think you are significantly more likely to relapse on your drug of choice if you are smoking weed. I think you are significantly more likely to feel shitty and not have a real recovery if you are smoking weed. Plus weed is still a drug and still bad for your brain, but that's another issue.

I tried smoking weed more often to curb my alcoholism thinking it was a solution and I guess it kind of worked for a while. Granted this was before I accepted I was an addict, so I was still drinking, just less. My drinking was cut back for a while.. but I was just replacing one substance with another. It wasn't a solution. In the end I was drinking just as much as before and smoking weed on top of it. I know that if I smoked weed now I would drink also. I don't do either now.

I just can't imagine anyone finding real long term relief when you use a mind altering substance to make yourself feel better. I know I didn't. Like the post I made earlier in reference to alcohol. You gotta rewire the coping and reward mechanisms in your brain. And to do that you gotta stay 100% sober.

Anyway.. kinda ranted there. Sorry about that. You'll find many different opinions on the matter. I'm sure some people swear by it. I'm not convinced, but hey, I can agree to disagree. If you chose to smoke some weed, I won't judge you.

But the AA/NA/pretty much every recovery group/etc stance is the same.. if that matters to you. I'm not just repeating what they say because I'm a drone I literally believe this to be true.
 
Also wondering.

Sorry if my rant put you off! Haha, I just have very strong opinions on the matter. But I can agree to disagree, and I'll drop it.
 
Hey... No generic you haven't and are entitled to your own opinion and always appreciate the multiple views of the situation. It's 3 weeks and 1 day. I can't lie I am not happy by any means. We looked up some counseling and AA etc. I hope I can keep moving forward. I stopped lyrica. Stopped welbutrin for today. Not drinking much at all. Took a few days off adderall/ritalin. Thanks for checking in.
 
AA works for a LOT of people. Hopefully it works for you.

Congrats on 18 days. You'll be at a month before you know it.
 
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