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24 vs 18/19 years old?

Psyduck

Psyduck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 24, 2008
Messages
672
So, there is this girl. The first couple of times we met we had a very spontaneous interaction. I just assumed she was arround my age (perhaps a bit younger, like 22-23 years old). I am incredibly attracted to her. I just found out she is 18-19 years old (first year college, whereas I am almost leaving college) and the whole thing seems so wrong now. It feels that I am doing something "wrong" whereas previously everything went smooth and the age-difference was not noticeable, really. What should I do? Should I back off? I cannot "undo" my attraction to her. Maybe I can avoid her?

What do you think? Have you had (or seen) similar situations? Do you think it's acceptable? And from a woman's POV: are "older" men within the boundaries of attraction or sometimes even "preferable"?
 
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That's fine, I've been with much older...she's legal and if you got along fine before you knew how old she was I really don't think there's a problem. It's certainly 'acceptable'. Do'nt worry about it, if you're happy with her for the time being than it really shouldn't matter :)
 
I'm 19 and dated older dudes.... even have a 28 year old who wanted to be with me recently and oh yeah can't forget the 31 year old. If you didn't even notice the age difference at first then that's a good sign. Just go with the flow and maybe the age difference won't even matter to you anymore. If you really like her then why not give it a chance? The worst that can happen is you break it off...
 
xstayfadedx said:
The worst that can happen is you break it off...
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On a related matter, the physics/math/cs department is only a very small world where word goes arround very quickly. Even though normally I care little what other people say, it would probably be somewhat inconvenient that people start saying that I was hitting on 18-19 year old girls. The whole thing still feels not completely right to me.
 
As long as she's an adult with the mental faculties to consent, I fail to see what the issue is.
 
Psyduck said:
On a related matter, the physics/math/cs department is only a very small world where word goes arround very quickly. Even though normally I care little what other people say, it would probably be somewhat inconvenient that people start saying that I was hitting on 18-19 year old girls. The whole thing still feels not completely right to me.
Click to expand...

Seriously, fuck what others think about it. It really doesn't matter.
I dated a 34 year old for a few weeks when I was 18. I felt awkward about it at the start and it didn't last, but so what, we tried, no harm done.
Plus it's not as if there was a huge difference btween a 19 year old and a 24 year old, I don't see why others would judge you for that...I mean my mom told me she went out with a 23 year old when she was 15, ha. Seriously, 19-24 is fine.
 
Psyduck said:
On a related matter, the physics/math/cs department is only a very small world where word goes arround very quickly. Even though normally I care little what other people say, it would probably be somewhat inconvenient that people start saying that I was hitting on 18-19 year old girls. The whole thing still feels not completely right to me.
Click to expand...

Who cares what people think? Just care about yourself... it isn't unusual for a guy your age to date an 18/19 year old... and if anyone pokes fun at it then they're obviously still immature.
 
That is not a significant age difference to raise any concern. When I was 18 my girl was 16 and all my guy friends called me a cradle robber etc etc. I got it all. Well, they have been through 5-6-7-8 girls and I am still with the same one at 23. Let me tell you though, 18 year old girls are a shit ton of work to handle. If you meet an 18 year old that says they are mature for their age, run.
 
That isn't that big of a difference. Especially since she's in college. Yeah, only first year. But you thought she was older when you met, so she must be fairly mature for her age. Once you're out of high school, I feel like age isn't that big of a deal. I mean, 19 and 40 might be different. But you're only a few years apart, it's not that much. Yeah, you're in slightly different stages of life, but there is no reason why you can't try it out. If you like her, just go for it :)
 
I was 22 and my wife was 18 when we met. We just celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary. So I would say if the chemistry is there; go for it!
 
Funkadelic wants you to hit it and quit it.

But really youve got nothing to lose just going for it, I mean the odds of a long term relationship might be lower but I wouldn't let that stop me.

Good luck, and live it up while you're still in school my man!
 
Graduate and move on and find work first.


She's 18 and a college freshman. Do you really think she will be with you for that long? Sounds like you're setting yourself up for a messy situation. Plus she will just be a distraction.

If I could go back in time to when I was in college, I would have never got in a relationship.
 
If you thought she was around your age, then her maturity must be on a level with yours, if not higher.

It's totally acceptable an age gap, the actual ages make it better too.

Women generally like older guys from my experience and observations, especially at a younger age - then they learn to appreciate men their own age, and then get a bit older and appreciate younger guys too.

Why does it seem wrong? - that's some kiind of social conditioning talking, not your animal self, or your higher self. Lose it.
 
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i had a similar situation this time last year and got paranoid and bailed, i really wish i didnt cause she was super sweet and hot as fuck. life is short and really you gotta do what makes you happy. if shes keen and your keen well fuck it and go for it. imo.
 
Yeah, there's nothing wrong or weird about this at all. Infact, I'd say you guys are close enough in age that even most people who do find this stuff weird wouldn't in this case. Some people would say a 40 year old dating a 20 year old is strange, but a 19 year old with a 24 year old? It wouldn't even remotely cross my mind that it's weird. I'm 25 and I'd bang/ date an 18 year old. I don't even think an 80 year old dating a teen of legal age is wrong. It might be a little weird for the simple fact it's not something you see everyday, but there's nothing unethical about it. She's old enough to make her own decisions and if she likes older guys then she likes older guys. I find it irritating when people try and judge others because their relationship has a huge age difference as if it's any of their business what goes on between two consenting adults
 
^Very much agree with all that. An 80 yaer-old with an 18 year-old would definitely be weird, but hey, as you said, she's old enough (or he for that matter) to make her own/his own decisions. But 24 and 18/19 doesn't even enter the realm of weird :)
 
OP dude. theres nothing weird about that age difference. if anything, im concerned that you have a problem with it in the first place. what the heck man, you re both young adults, enjoy it while it lasts.
 
you have nothing to worry about. sure people are gonna talk, and there will be things that you can't relate on, but the more confident you are about owning the decision, the less these things will matter. i met my gf of 2.5 years when she was 21 and i was 26. it definitely took some effort on both our parts - i wasn't used to frat parties and she wasn't used to dinner parties - but it's actually those differences that have really made our relationship great. she keeps me young, and i reassure her that growing up isn't all boredom and bills.
 
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