24 (Avoid the pedestrian)

[up all night]

At pedestrian prints you point,
'those people know the score'
because apparently the placement
of feet is important to know
when you're 24.
-------Noone tells me these things.

But now my list is writ.

- Saturday night parties; tragic
love affairs from the first drink
to the final kiss. (I fell in love. I'm not
coming back.)

- Global domination pales when the
possiblity of morning rears its
sleepy eyes and bed hair. (You look
like sex. Lets drop out of life today.)

- Pack up laughter in boxes of
sin and break it out when
common sense prevails. (A monument
to the sacreligious.)

- Rhythm and melody; music sweeps
and heals, awash with the emotion
of losing control. (It becomes you.
Try it on for size.)

- Deadlines are relative; turn off
the phone and listen to what it
means to be 24. (You drive too
fast. I love that.)

edit: Thanks!

 

[Jwlst]

Press tab for a litte indent. Im poem hopeless so i cant give you anything bout that side of your post

 

[up all night]

^ Nah it doesn't work! I'm not that retarded. It just reformats.

 

[Doppelganger]

^ I think they normally type in white, so it's not visible [if I remember correctly]. I only assume this to be the case, as I always highlight the text as I read.

On the poem: Goddamn that was clever! Lets swap minds...

 

[katmeow]

^ I think they normally type in white, so it's not visible [if I remember correctly]. I only assume this to be the case, as I always highlight the text as I read.

On the poem: Goddamn that was clever! Lets swap minds...

hey yarni! Yeah, you need to use white text



At pedestrian prints you point,
'those people know the score'
because apparently the placement
of feet is important to know
when you're 24.
-------------Noone tells me these things.

But now my list is writ.

- Saturday night parties; tragic
love affairs from the first drink
to the final kiss. (I fell in love. I'm not
coming back.)

- Global domination pales when the
possiblity of morning rears its
sleepy eyes and bed hair. (You look
like sex. Lets drop out of life today.)

- Pack up laughter in boxes of
sin and break it out when
common sense prevails. (A monument
to the sacreligious.)

- Rhythm and melody; music sweeps
and heals, awash with the emotion
of losing control. (It becomes you.
Try it on for size.)

- Deadlines are relative; turn off
the phone and listen to what it
means to be 24. (You drive too
fast. I love that.)

 

[lostNfound]

Whats cool about this is the flow.
The flow and the ease it makes in reading some deep thoughts makes it seem more simple than it is.
My thoughts flow as easy the words roll off the tongue.

Very cool.

 

[Dastrix Slogan]

such a clever way of wording and describing things, insight like this takes some a lifetime to learn, and perhaps seeing the footprints makes it easier to walk in the other direction. very very impressive.

- Pack up laughter in boxes of
sin and break it out when
common sense prevails. (A monument
to the sacreligious.)

awesome!

 

[(Wordy)]

Great stuff up all night... carefree and condensed, slices of life that I can see/feel vividly.

I like the stanza Dastrix quoted, but I like these two even more:

- Global domination pales when the
possiblity of morning rears its
sleepy eyes and bed hair. (You look
like sex. Lets drop out of life today.)

Deadlines are relative; turn off
the phone and listen to what it
means to be 24. (You drive too
fast. I love that.)

 

[Nietzche]

Avoid the pedestrian.

Clever.

 

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

I loved the whole entire thing!

I said in the other thread that I posted in this evening that it has been a while since i replied on others' words.

But I'm 2 for 2 tonight.
Thanks alot!

 

[Mary Poppins]

so elegant yarni.

someone said to me the other night that your writing just gets better and better, and i couldn't agree more!

bellissimo.