johannes kreisler
Bluelighter
Two days ago I had my second full dose of 4-aco-dmt; 23mg plugged. I'm thinking about writing a real trip-report but feel I still don't understand the experience completely. still integrating...[comes out my short report became a full report while writing it, so enjoy! 
]
note that I had a ++++ with dmt the day before involving god showing me my own birth out of pure love - it was one reason I wanted to have a full-on tryptamine trip - and also smoked a 25mg dose of dmt right before ingesting the psilacetin (which was uncomfortable to be honest - no full commitment...). also I had a slight headache and didn't feel 100% comfortable physically.
It took no more than 10 minutes for the effects to be felt. at first I wasn't sure if I'm still on (from the dmt) or already on. but surprisingly I was already on - in contrast to my first experience with 20mg oral which had an excruciating 2h comeup.
I immediately recognized the distinct feeling of this comeup, expected the worst and decided to watch "30 rock" to distract myself. 2 episodes was all I could take adding up to a comeup time of ~50min. time distortion throughout the whole experience was MASSIVE so it felt much longer though...
it was anxious and uncomfortable but not unbearable.
and definitely much stronger and harder hitting than the 20mg oral. that's all I can say about the quantity of the dose due to lack of experience with the compound...
nah, maybe I can add that it was a 'heavy', immersive experience, definitely not recreational and not for the unprepared.
anyway: after the comeup I felt a deep urge to lie down and listen to music. it felt like I was sucked into a deeep hole. this never happened but I can clearly see that higher doses of psilacetin suck you into hyperspace.
it was very sedating and dreamlike but I couldn't let myself slip down/up there. one reason being physical discomfort (bowels, headache - not sure if this was due to the drug) and the other that I was with my significant other, constantly distracting me while only trying to care for me. on the one hand I was happy to have her with me as I nearly became 'shedding some tears like emotional' on the other hand she prevented me to really slip into myself.
she then took a shower and I took some n2o.
surprisingly not much happened. no visual explosion, no cosmic orgasm.
the reason for this was that the experience was complete in a very distinct way.
realizing this I kinda snapped out of the trance state only to find myself in one of the most fascinating states I've ever been in.
earlier that day I read about willow describing high-dose dpt as "reverse-engineering hinduism" - thinking about that I was hit with a big fat noetic cotton hammer: this is ZEN. pure. clear.
the absolute absence of any categories, any judgments, any joy, any sadness, any emotion, any meaning, any questions and so on, and so on....
the state is difficult to describe but anyone experienced with zen will probably "feel" this place. It felt like the most sober, most natural state ever. completely trivial in every aspect of it's profound meaning.
my thinking was crystal clear, calm, productive, resilient to any harm. impressively unimpressive, profoundly unprofound.
just zen enlightenment.
I started a deep conversation with the girl and my state got her higher than I was myself (a little bit later we went out to eat something at a great turkish place and she told me she didn't feel comfortable because she was too high; in fact all she took, was 20mg of dmt hours before and a few lungfuls of n2o).
I could actually address her higher self and we both felt it. I did that once before while being sober iirc. it is absolutely amazing and indescribable how it feels like to lead a conversation without involving the ego. at least mine was not involved, but I felt hers like the little, mean, destructive motherfucker that it is and could play with it, provoke it - and finally confront the current borders of her spiritual path.
there was a distinct point at which her ego grew stronger than her higher self and I deeply felt - and still feel - the borders of our relationship. the realization was important but saddens me to the core. I cannot help her overcome her ego, it is her job and I have to step back. (from another perspective it might be just apollo and dionysos arguing about the nature of the human experiment...)
...like I said, we went out to eat something which was at T+3h and I could absolutely not believe it. I checked the clock several times and just could. not. believe. it. the longest 3 hours of my life - or even 2h excluding the comeup.
eating was no problem but I had some psychosomatic symptoms e.g. feeling like I have to puke when thinking about 'sad stuff'...
altogether it was more like an impressing experience than a 'trip'. I can understand people thinking little about the material - it was just not fun, not recreational, not visual. it was spiritual, philosophical, challenging - and rewarding for the prepared disciple.
4-aco-dmt is a fascinating material in many, many ways and this trip was within my top 3 ever.
I want to add that the sedation was really intense and bothered me. I promised myself to add a medium dose of 2c-i for upcoming experiments. 15mg 2c-i + 25mg psilacetin sounds glorious.
]note that I had a ++++ with dmt the day before involving god showing me my own birth out of pure love - it was one reason I wanted to have a full-on tryptamine trip - and also smoked a 25mg dose of dmt right before ingesting the psilacetin (which was uncomfortable to be honest - no full commitment...). also I had a slight headache and didn't feel 100% comfortable physically.
It took no more than 10 minutes for the effects to be felt. at first I wasn't sure if I'm still on (from the dmt) or already on. but surprisingly I was already on - in contrast to my first experience with 20mg oral which had an excruciating 2h comeup.
I immediately recognized the distinct feeling of this comeup, expected the worst and decided to watch "30 rock" to distract myself. 2 episodes was all I could take adding up to a comeup time of ~50min. time distortion throughout the whole experience was MASSIVE so it felt much longer though...
it was anxious and uncomfortable but not unbearable.
and definitely much stronger and harder hitting than the 20mg oral. that's all I can say about the quantity of the dose due to lack of experience with the compound...
nah, maybe I can add that it was a 'heavy', immersive experience, definitely not recreational and not for the unprepared.
anyway: after the comeup I felt a deep urge to lie down and listen to music. it felt like I was sucked into a deeep hole. this never happened but I can clearly see that higher doses of psilacetin suck you into hyperspace.
it was very sedating and dreamlike but I couldn't let myself slip down/up there. one reason being physical discomfort (bowels, headache - not sure if this was due to the drug) and the other that I was with my significant other, constantly distracting me while only trying to care for me. on the one hand I was happy to have her with me as I nearly became 'shedding some tears like emotional' on the other hand she prevented me to really slip into myself.
she then took a shower and I took some n2o.
surprisingly not much happened. no visual explosion, no cosmic orgasm.
the reason for this was that the experience was complete in a very distinct way.
realizing this I kinda snapped out of the trance state only to find myself in one of the most fascinating states I've ever been in.
earlier that day I read about willow describing high-dose dpt as "reverse-engineering hinduism" - thinking about that I was hit with a big fat noetic cotton hammer: this is ZEN. pure. clear.
the absolute absence of any categories, any judgments, any joy, any sadness, any emotion, any meaning, any questions and so on, and so on....
the state is difficult to describe but anyone experienced with zen will probably "feel" this place. It felt like the most sober, most natural state ever. completely trivial in every aspect of it's profound meaning.
my thinking was crystal clear, calm, productive, resilient to any harm. impressively unimpressive, profoundly unprofound.
just zen enlightenment.
I started a deep conversation with the girl and my state got her higher than I was myself (a little bit later we went out to eat something at a great turkish place and she told me she didn't feel comfortable because she was too high; in fact all she took, was 20mg of dmt hours before and a few lungfuls of n2o).
I could actually address her higher self and we both felt it. I did that once before while being sober iirc. it is absolutely amazing and indescribable how it feels like to lead a conversation without involving the ego. at least mine was not involved, but I felt hers like the little, mean, destructive motherfucker that it is and could play with it, provoke it - and finally confront the current borders of her spiritual path.
there was a distinct point at which her ego grew stronger than her higher self and I deeply felt - and still feel - the borders of our relationship. the realization was important but saddens me to the core. I cannot help her overcome her ego, it is her job and I have to step back. (from another perspective it might be just apollo and dionysos arguing about the nature of the human experiment...)
...like I said, we went out to eat something which was at T+3h and I could absolutely not believe it. I checked the clock several times and just could. not. believe. it. the longest 3 hours of my life - or even 2h excluding the comeup.
eating was no problem but I had some psychosomatic symptoms e.g. feeling like I have to puke when thinking about 'sad stuff'...
altogether it was more like an impressing experience than a 'trip'. I can understand people thinking little about the material - it was just not fun, not recreational, not visual. it was spiritual, philosophical, challenging - and rewarding for the prepared disciple.
4-aco-dmt is a fascinating material in many, many ways and this trip was within my top 3 ever.
I want to add that the sedation was really intense and bothered me. I promised myself to add a medium dose of 2c-i for upcoming experiments. 15mg 2c-i + 25mg psilacetin sounds glorious.
