Flat Stanley
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2016
- Messages
- 1
Hi I am 20 years old and was on Subutex/Suboxone since I was about 16/17. It's hard to gauge when I started because when I first heard about I thought it was an opiate and was young and naive etc.... Now here I am years later with an addiction like no other. My drug addiction started with me using with my older brother ( he was into drugs and is 5 years older than me started selling etc... you know where this is going) At first my bupe usage was pure recreational and didn't really care about it nor did it have a hold on me until I moved from Alabama to Colorado a few years back ( I now live in Arkansas) and I thought it would be a "good idea" to go to a Suboxone doctor. Well I was never on 8+mg's a day but I have been on it for atleast 4mgs a day for a few years I would say.. Now here I am 12 days clean after tapering down to .5 (.25 am/.25 pm) and decided to make the jump. Over this time of drugs I have had major anxiety (which who doesn't that uses drugs) and was given Valium about 2 years ago to which I built a tolerance to and had to ween off of. I honestly don't think I would've made it this far if I didn't go to the ER (told them that I had been prone to seizures in the past in w/d's so they couldn't refuse me treatment) and the Dr/ to my amazement was extremely kind and gave me 30 clonidine .01 mg, 30 phenegran 25mg and 10 Zofran (4mg orally disintegrating) to which I have taken basically all of what he gave to help me through the "hard part of it". Now on day 3 of no subs I thought it would be a good idea to get some Xanax because its such a short half life. Needless to say I get 20 bars that were no doubtedly pressed and have no clue what benzo (even if it was a benzo was in it) it felt like super weak Xanax imo? I don't know but I binged those 20 bars away over a 5 day period prior to a week long 2 day off binge on the real actual green bars.... Now I sit here rambling writing this so depressed and restless and anxious not knowing when this madness will end and when I will "feel better". I want to add that I am overweight which adds to my depression and anxiety of going outside (because i care what people think). I am sorry for the unorganized post but felt like I had no where else to turn to so I came here :/ Thank you to anyone who replies. Much love.
