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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

2 year old tells me about Daddy

Mariposa's posts are very well written and I think you should read each of them several times over.

Please stop using drugs now that you have a little girl, and please stop making excuses for your ex. He sounds like poison and your child deserves better than two parents on drugs and in an abusive relationship. I wish you and your child the best.

You know that life can be better than this crap, right?
 
mami said:
BTW “Fall down” was from doing excessive amounts of “Ring Around the Rosie” with him. (Minor) relief.

* * *

Less than 1wk after I made this thread I chose to visit & leave his apartment before/after dinnertime. I thought I could visit him during the days--

After just 4 of these “day visits”, he obtained some opiates (not one of my DOC's but I'll enjoy them).... I wasn't able to leave because I didn't want anyone to see me high. Then he got some Adderall making it harder to leave. Three days of Amphetamine-induced thinking had me believing we could move in together 45 minutes away!

1 wk later (1 week ago) he'd beat me up (the first time with visible physical damage that is still evident & painful). What began as verbal harassment + social control/jealousy simply progressed. Not news: Abuse is a progressive disease. He has good intentions but the Abuser in him is simultaneously an animalistic beast APART from the rational kind heart co-existing the same body-mind.

In the last week:
I stayed for a few days to play it “cool”. I contacted a friend who's walked my path. I received sound advice – and MUCH NEEDED moral support. A series of personal contacts tipped some investigators to watch his place. This gave me enough incentive to stay away without getting an Order of protection (though I still should).

He was in & out of jail this week. (Court judgment related to traffic stuff from this summer.) Don't know how he got out on $1000 bond. He called yesterday just to talk to our child. +6 hours later, he called with “I have Adderall.” I told him No thanks. I'm going to use Cannabis, and stop refilling my Adderall + Klonopin (which cause depression + warrants a separate discussion. I'm starting to notice long-term damage from the Adderall).

As Lolie mentioned I've found my own ways to get any substances that he can. I can now turn down his “offers” knowing that I'm not acting on impulse when I get a text saying, “Come and get it.” But I'm feeling very rooted in my ability to not get these things. Anyway, there is the update.

I need to get an OP, though.
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I am happy for you! You are doing a good job. Just remember that it is imperative you stay away from him.

It is clear to me that you are working towards being the best mother possible. Thank you for trying, I have seen plenty of parents not care at all for their children.

Please keep us updated and stay safe.
 
This man is a psychotic person and can not be trusted. If you don't cut all contact with him, he might kill you or your child.

Get a restraining order, get into treatment for your drug addiction, and start thinking about your daughter. Unfortunately, drug addicts are selfish above all else. Until you address this, no one is safe.
 
I'm going to go ahead and tell you the one thing that I can here - simply put it's taken me 15 fucking years to get a grasp on HOW to deal w/my PTSD from when I was 10 - those years I cannot get back and while I've grown and learned, turned into the man I am today because of them. I do not wish this disorder on anyone and I really want to emphasize just how horrid trauma is on a child. It skews your ability to see right and wrong - and you end up feeling as if you are always on the latter with being worth a damn as a human. Please keep yourself and your child safe <3 she does not deserve , nor does any child , to be put in harms reach. So far she has observed at a distance it appears - please keep her safe.
 
Apologies for needing to be snipped <3

Mami, please get the OP to keep you and your daughter safe. I continue to wish you and your daughter the best.
 
do not make the mistake of thinking she's too young to be affected by the turmoil she's been around. even at two she is totally able to feel the emotional storm that goes on between you and her father.
i've read this thread a few times and it has really bothered me. i grew up in an unsafe house full of conflict, negativity, and violence. at 46 yrs old i am still struggling w/ problems that began in that house. i can remember things that my brother tells me happened when i was barely 3 yrs. the violence i witnessed and terror i felt are as distressing today as they were decades ago. it has prevented me from trusting people and negatively impacted all aspects of my life.
you are the only person who can keep your daughter safe and change what she's exposed to. you have the power to make positive decisions right now that will benefit your child more than you can imagine.
best of luck to both of you.
-izzy
 
I know this is way down the bottom oif posts and it's coming from a guy but I think some of my knopwledgde of seeing how my so called friends raised there kids is troubling. I wished I did something but, I wass too busy getting high with them. Here is a couple of stories, might be out of context, might help you:

I grew up in a very druggy/ghetto place in San Deigo. A lot of my friends did hard drugs durging and right after high school. Unfortunately condoms were for idiots back than to say (birth control is a god send and these people should have been court ordered) These stories take place in my tweaker years and might make some people very unhappy.

I will start with "K" and her pad. We used to do some cooking, all day and night over there, and I would watch her kid play video games, at all time of the night. He was very hyper and didnt eat too much. I fianlly realizeed, we were getting this kid dpun form all the chemicALS in the house. I dont think he turned out to right, very sad story.

Junior was born right after graduation to another great friend. Pops starteded to sell it from home. Ma made sure the bills were being paid the welfare and section 8, plus you can buy a sack once in awhile. There is only one incedent where Senior almost hit Mother, and this is the only time in front odf me. I stood up giot in his face and did captain save a hoe thing. Who knows what actually happend when I wasnt there. Im starting to get sick sorry, I cant get say more.

If you are in the states, call the child abuse hotline anonymously to see what you can do. I know especially in California, they will help you and not care about the pot, its only an infraction anyway.

Hopefully this helps. I hate this cold
 
Kids are surprisingly in the know when it comes to the realities of home life. I understood a lot from an early age that I wasn't "supposed" to. I could see through adults lying to me and from early on gained an independent edge with my own mind, not trusting so naively and thinking more for myself.
 
Its ashame that people cant control themselves with their kids around them. Every little thing that you do as a parent around your child, especially in those impressionable years, mean alot to the child & they will mimic their parents.

Nothing wrong with doing pharms, just please acknowledge your child & enjoy the time you have with them.
 
TheLostBoys said:
Nothing wrong with doing pharms, just please acknowledge your child & enjoy the time you have with them.
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[This is to no one in particular so please don't take offense!]

There is something wrong with it when you have children =/ "To each their own," I know, I know. I've just always thought that once you have kids you put your own wants aside, especially when it comes to the wellbeing of your child. If you're doing ANYTHING that could get you hurt or arrested, you're being selfish, plain and simple. Drugs are fun and all but when kids are brought into the picture, there's no excuse for using them IMO.

I know that's harsh and might garner some negative feedback so once again it's just an opinion. I'm not saying you can't do drugs and raise a healthy child but let's say this: Even if your child is healthy and hasn't a clue about your drug use, you're still at risk of getting arrested if they're illegal. Now how is that fair to your child if that were to happen?? This isn't even mentioning the fact that using drugs obviously leaves you impaired and therefore unable to properly care for another human being's life no matter how you want to look at it.

Children come way before your own desires, especially when it comes to something like getting high.
 
User Name Here said:
[This is to no one in particular so please don't take offense!]

There is something wrong with it when you have children =/ "To each their own," I know, I know. I've just always thought that once you have kids you put your own wants aside, especially when it comes to the wellbeing of your child. If you're doing ANYTHING that could get you hurt or arrested, you're being selfish, plain and simple. Drugs are fun and all but when kids are brought into the picture, there's no excuse for using them IMO.

I know that's harsh and might garner some negative feedback so once again it's just an opinion. I'm not saying you can't do drugs and raise a healthy child but let's say this: Even if your child is healthy and hasn't a clue about your drug use, you're still at risk of getting arrested if they're illegal. Now how is that fair to your child if that were to happen?? This isn't even mentioning the fact that using drugs obviously leaves you impaired and therefore unable to properly care for another human being's life no matter how you want to look at it.

Children come way before your own desires, especially when it comes to something like getting high.
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You make great points & they are well noted my friend & you are correct. I dont have children & maybe if I had my own, I would be on the straight & narrow.

I remember when I first smoking weed when I was 19, I had gone over to a guys house that had some really good weed. His gf had given birth to a baby girl about 3 months previous & the baby was in its crib in the corner of the living room while the little girls father rolled up a joint & sparked it. I couldnt believe he was doing this with his child in the room where you know this child will be inhaling the smoke & the childs mother was hanging with us & didnt say anything surprisingly.

It bothered me that this was going on & I should have said something but didnt. Since that incident, I would just tell him to meet somewhere else to get the weed.

Bottom line is, you can do drugs but it will effect your child one way or another.
 
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