Hi drizzydrake
I specifically signed up for an account so I could post a reply on this site. I know exactly what you're going through and I want to first tell you a little bit about myself. I am 23 years old, female, from Vancouver. When I was younger, I used to always hit up raves and pop pills. Sometimes I would do one.. other times I would do up to 6 pills a night (sometimes a mix of all random dirty caps plus mdma). I used to just want to stay high all night so I didn't care what I was taking or who I was getting the pills from. I smoked weed occassionally.. and sometimes when I was coming down from my e high. Although I used to have these E-binges.. I had NEVER felt any sort of feeling of depersonalization whatsoever until the 3 weeks ago after a concert. I felt like shit the next day after only popping two caps of MDMA, (but smoking a ton of weed afterwards) and thought that was normal. But the on the third day, I realized I hadn't gotten any better.. I felt so spaced out. So disconnected from my body. So confused and so scared. I felt like I was dreaming and constantly wondering if what I was seeing or hearing was real. My vision was so fucked up.. I felt like there was a glitch in my brain. I, was also a very happy go-lucky kinda girl that was always smiling and laughing and loved everyone around me. I go to university, have a steady job, have a wonderful boyfriend and family.. etc etc. I felt like I was going fucking crazy, had major panic attacks and told my boyfriend that if I didn't feel better, that I would kill myself! I felt so disconnected from my surroundings. Everything I even touched felt fake. I tried watching TV but only end up being confused about whether I was actually watching TV or whether I was dreaming. It was horrible. I tried going to work and broke down crying because everything felt so out of touch.. so fake.. even the lights at work felt dimmer than usual. I couldn't communicate with my co-workers and I even broke down crying at work. Nobody understands! I told many of my friends this and tried to explain to them how it felt while I was going through it. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS! I felt like everyone around me thought I was crazy. I woke up every morning feeling like I was alright again.. until I walked around to get back to my regular routine to realize that I was stuck in the same state.
9 days later.. I finally felt better. I can now say that I am 100% better. I know that you have been experiencing your symptoms for a few months now. Although mine only lasted 9 days (thank goodness), it did feel like a lifetime. But knowing that mine went away after some time.. it means that yours will too! Who cares if you have been reading stories about people who have it for 10 years +? It may not be YOUR case.
This guy I know experienced similar symptoms that we did.. he told me to drink coconut water (I know it's weird but worth a try) and lots of gatorade to replenish the electrolytes. I think by going to the gym and going to the sauna to sweat out your toxins would be your best bet. I stopped smoking cigarettes as that triggers your brain as a stimulant. I also prayed to God a lot to help me get back to normal even though I'm not a very religious person. You just have to keep your head up and keep living! One day you're going to wake up and feel like yourself again. Just believe it!
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
