Aja909
Bluelighter
"I'm worth it"
but what kind of object am I?
is that my definition today?
do you even read this?
Quite possibly you may be thinking in the same direction
unlike you however I don't all the time
my phone book tells me I would lose 99 of 101 friends
or close to
and for what?
what security do I have 995 miles away from here?
I'm told my body language avoids you
and *I DO* feel like a prostitute
even if indirectly
"goods and services" in exchange for
well.. .. ..you know what right?
and still when I hold you it does mean something
I do want you to know that at least
I can't ask god for any more help
lately so often I may not receive any more answers
no answers and no cures
no help and no future
and no one really cares about anyone except themselves
so I'm left here
and you, you are 995 miles away and lonely waiting for me
and I, I am here not at home but not away from "me"
you can tell I am no longer fearful
and trying to hide who I am
what I am
and what I've become
can you understand that ultimately you will be alone?
that *NOTHING* lasts forever
because us humans are created within the limits of time?
You've been the driver and I have been the passenger
and along our travels I have seen the beautiful landscapes
the scenery of what I am scared to make part of me
or us
I can't
I would cry everyday and hurt you
I would cross the line and hurt myself
in every which way I could
boxcutter or syringe
it's all the same goal
and I can't and won't let it kill me
and kill what we still have left
because I will always be here as long god lets me live
and I will always have to accept that you love me
that I can't go outside god's will and not mine
and you know I'm not that religious
call it spiritual
follower
but I can't explain the creation of it all
our universe
this space
all the air I breathe - nurturing my life
please look inbetween the lines
and look closer
and give me one good reason why you want me
want what baggage and emotional damage
that comes with me
I can't be trusted because I don't trust myself
if you want that
want me,
you have to wait untill desperation kicks in
or a failed relationship comes into play up here
because then - I know I was meant to be with you
but for now I must stay here
because I would surely lose interest in life so quick
if I was away from here
away from what makes me happy
-motorollerkid-
but what kind of object am I?
is that my definition today?
do you even read this?
Quite possibly you may be thinking in the same direction
unlike you however I don't all the time
my phone book tells me I would lose 99 of 101 friends
or close to
and for what?
what security do I have 995 miles away from here?
I'm told my body language avoids you
and *I DO* feel like a prostitute
even if indirectly
"goods and services" in exchange for
well.. .. ..you know what right?
and still when I hold you it does mean something
I do want you to know that at least
I can't ask god for any more help
lately so often I may not receive any more answers
no answers and no cures
no help and no future
and no one really cares about anyone except themselves
so I'm left here
and you, you are 995 miles away and lonely waiting for me
and I, I am here not at home but not away from "me"
you can tell I am no longer fearful
and trying to hide who I am
what I am
and what I've become
can you understand that ultimately you will be alone?
that *NOTHING* lasts forever
because us humans are created within the limits of time?
You've been the driver and I have been the passenger
and along our travels I have seen the beautiful landscapes
the scenery of what I am scared to make part of me
or us
I can't
I would cry everyday and hurt you
I would cross the line and hurt myself
in every which way I could
boxcutter or syringe
it's all the same goal
and I can't and won't let it kill me
and kill what we still have left
because I will always be here as long god lets me live
and I will always have to accept that you love me
that I can't go outside god's will and not mine
and you know I'm not that religious
call it spiritual
follower
but I can't explain the creation of it all
our universe
this space
all the air I breathe - nurturing my life
please look inbetween the lines
and look closer
and give me one good reason why you want me
want what baggage and emotional damage
that comes with me
I can't be trusted because I don't trust myself
if you want that
want me,
you have to wait untill desperation kicks in
or a failed relationship comes into play up here
because then - I know I was meant to be with you
but for now I must stay here
because I would surely lose interest in life so quick
if I was away from here
away from what makes me happy
-motorollerkid-
