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1st Timer Ignorance to MDMA

ggarza921

ggarza921

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 26, 2013
Messages
105
Location
TX
Hey everyone.

I'm a mechanical engineering student approaching my senior year. I was having a rough semester, and spring break was coming up, so I decided I would let go during that time and bought tickets to a 3 day music festival. I decided to buy two caps of Molly as well. I had never tried MDMA before, was completely ignorant about the drug, and never even bothered to do my research before I tried it or try testing it either (very very stupid I know). However I trusted the person I bought it from. Anyway, I did Molly the first night (of course i didnt know how much was in the cap, i'd say about .1-.2g) at the music festival and it was really fun and I had a great time. So lets just assume this was "pure" mdma that I was dealing with (even though I actually don't know.. Didn't know about testing kits). So, I felt slightly sluggish the next day but still in a fairly good mood. So I figured doing it just one more night wouldn't hurt at all. Big mistake of course. I took the same amount the next night, and I really felt the "brain frying" effects. I had to leave the concert and go back to the hotel. I didn't attend the concert the 3rd day either because of how I was feeling.

Its been a little over a month since this happened. i had several anxiety attacks following this approximately 2-3 weeks later. The outstanding depression lingered for about a month. The depression is still there, it just comes up at random times. It is a little hard to focus on things still. I've stopped all other drugs. I feel like I may have put my responsibilities in jeopardy. I've noticed it is a little harder for me to concentrate, however I've been getting a little better everyday. I deal with a lot of stress everyday, and it's been hard to cope with it with the way I've been feeling. Normally I'm a very strong independent individual. I have high standards for myself, have a 3.96 GPA, on the road to getting a scientific paper published, and I plan on doing a summer internship. However with the emotional difficulties I've been facing, I don't know how much longer it will take to be 100% again. I'm worried because I did a presentation today, and I felt as though my heart was about to beat out of my chest. Which is unusual for me, I get anxious for presentations, but not that anxious to the point where it's really hard to concentrate.

I apologize for my ignorance. I will never touch ecstasy again in my life, I just wanted to experiment. I regret the deicision entirely. I am upset with the friends i was with (who were experienced) who didnt give me any warnings whatsoever. Will my brain go back to being 100%? When will the depression/anxiety symptoms wear off and what can I do to speed up the process?
 
hey ggarza921 welcome to bluelight :)

im not exactly sure what response you want or expect? you/we have no idea what you dosed. you/we have no idea how much you dosed. for anyone here to comment on recovery would be a guess, wouldn't it? i think its a little ignorant to be laying the blame onto mdma considering what you ingested could have been any number of chemicals.

i think you need to relax, try to not think about it so much and focus on living a healthy life, and your studies. perhaps your issue will pass with time?

i trust you have learned that if you are going to play with drugs the onus is on oneself to know what is going into ones body.

hope to read about your full recovery soonest.

all the best mate.
 
Thanks for the reply. Sorry I wasn't really detailed with the post. I do suppose any comment would be a guess, but I think anything helps at this point. Basically, I know (now) that it's a terrible idea to do MDMA on consecutive days. I just don't know the repercussions of it. I'm still pretty uneducated on the drug. I got the mollies in the form of gelatin capsules, and imagine the capsules being filled up to about 1/8-1/4 of the cap with MDMA powder. I guess that's about 0.1-0.2g? And if I did that two nights in a row, is there serious harm I could have done? I'm worried, because it was so weird to feel completely horrible for about a month. I had severe depression, anxiety, irritability, and shaky emotions for a while. Most of that has started to subside, but still lingers. I went to the doctor to get checked out, and the blood samples came back fine. I started counseling, which has helped a bit. I feel myself starting to come back, but I still don't feel completely "mentally aware" of everything that's going on around me. I feel that certain mental lag and lack of wit. I was also given reason to post on here considering the really high anxiety I had during today's presentation for class. It's really hard for me to find the time to work out especially at this time in the semester with final projects and finals week approaching. I know exercise helps. I'm taking multivitamins every morning along with omega 3,6,9. I picked up some green tea extract, L-tyrosine, and ordered piracetam and choline citrate. Maybe I'm doing a bit of overkill here, but I need to be focused for where I'm at right now in my life. How did neurotoxicity play its role those two nights? Should I have reason to worry about long term effects? Anything will help. I'm sorry I don't know what I exactly took those two nights, but for all intents and purposes let's assume it's MDMA. Thanks for the reply.
 
you still did it so unless you have a time machine you either need to relax, and realize its all in your head, or continue to freak out over nothing.

I don't know what to tell you I did way too much ecstasy about 2-3 months ago and didnt really feel any different after two days after using it.

less worrying = less symptoms
 
Basically, I know (now) that it's a terrible idea to do MDMA on consecutive days.
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tbh a one off is not that bad mate.
And if I did that two nights in a row, is there serious harm I could have done?
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no, not really. obviously taking mdma two days in a row is going to deplete more neuro chems and put more stress on your body and mind but it is not an automatic trip to the mental institution. we get kids on here that read shit on the internet and regurgitate and sprout rubbish all the time. dont believe all the negative hype.
Anything will help. I'm sorry I don't know what I exactly took those two nights, but for all intents and purposes let's assume it's MDMA.
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why? it could have been a number of other substances. it could have been rat poison. you dont know and we dont know so why assume it is MDMA?
I picked up some green tea extract, L-tyrosine, and ordered piracetam and choline citrate. Maybe I'm doing a bit of overkill here
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perhaps yeh. i never bothered with any of those pills and potions. the best for me was fresh fruit, nuts, and oily fish, and exercise.

relax and stay positive mate. 'you are what you think'
 
Thanks guys... I just wasn't ready for that really long comedown. I had no idea what to expect. I got really worried about my future for a while. I'm going to definitely try to instill more optimism into the whole situation. And shimazu, you're right. I've always been a bit of a worrywart. I just need to relax and move on.

The reason why I assumed it was MDMA was because the first night I took it, I had a wonderful time. I was just flat out happy. I had that overwhelming sense of love and got really into the music. It could have been MDA, MDxx, etc.. riddled with rat poison/other substances as well, but I definitely couldn't tell anything odd after that first night. I'm uneducated on a lot of other drugs, so I don't really know. The only other ones I had done in the past were weed, xanax, and coke. I just had to guess that the second night I wrung the dry towel of serotonin, and I freaked out from the experience.

laugh, can you explain a little more on the depleting of neuro chems? Just to educate me. How fast do they replenish (if they do)? Which ones in particular are targeted besides serotonin?

I will keep updated on my progress. All of this was just really hard for a first timer to deal with. I had never had a drug adversely affect me for that long before. After this semester is over, I'm going to incorporate daily exercise and healthy eating into my life again. Any other suggestions are welcome.
 
Serotonin typically takes a while to replenish. On the order of several weeks, perhaps months in some rarer cases. This is why taking mdma or similar drugs on consecutive days doesn't produce strong effects. There is simply not enough serotonin to go around.

On the other hand, dopamine regenerates quite quickly, which is why people can stay up for days or weeks at a time binging on methamphetamine.

You will be fine. Just give it time. You sound like you are taking pretty good care of your health otherwise. A healthy diet with exercise helps a lot. 5-htp is another supplement worth considering as it is the direct metabolic precursor to serotonin. Depression, anxiety, and poor concentration are common side effects of abuse of these types of drugs. How long ago did you take the drug? A couple of months is enough for most people to get back to normal. I think I read a post on here recently about someone who took 8 months or so to recover, but they were abusing the drugs more seriously.
 
I took the two caps about 6 weeks ago. I hope in about 2-3 weeks, I will have experienced a complete recovery. I get better everyday. The first 4 weeks were the worst. What I have noticed that I can't really control is my inability to sleep through an entire night. I now wake up at odd hours even with the use of melatonin. I feel confused and slight disorientation when this happens. By the time my alarm goes off, i dont actually know the amount of hours i slept. I still have these little tingly feelings in my head. Don't really know what they are.
 
Update on my recovery

Guys it's been nearly 2 months since the incident. I'm getting better little by little. Exercise, positivity, and healthy diet are definitely helping. I finished up the semester (which has been my hardest yet). My sleeping has improved a lot. The only thing that's still persisting which is very annoying is the tingly sensations in my head. I don't know if its like a chemical imbalance in my brain that's trying to work itself out or what. It's like a minor persisting headache. Anyone know what it is?

Also I decided to not take the piracetam or choline citrate that I ordered cuz I didn't find it necessary
 
I never had much joy with piracetam personally but it seems one of those supps that works for some and not for others. It may well help difficult to speculate.

5HTP helped me get over a long term comedown. You could also consider a product called Neurozan which is a multivitamin including 5HTP with a lot of focus on brain repair.

For me it took 6 months to recover from my first longterm comedown which was caused by MDMA and piperazine mixed.

The tingley sensations in your head other users on here have complained about and they fade over time. It would be speculative for anyone to say the exact cause but all I can say is your not the first to have this and it does go after a while approx 6 months or so.

Keep doing what your doing with the exercise, best sleep you can get, diet and suppliments if you feel the need.

In regards to what you took its so difficult to say in the current drug scene riddled with RCs many of them designed to mimic the action of MD** related substances.

Sounds like what ever it was the redose is what got you. I agree with your decision not to take again because if it was MDMA that triggered this then its not worth the risk again.

Good luck and cheers for the update.
 
It's probably just all in your head tbh, if you have something to blame your anxiety attacks on it would obviously be MDMA regardless of whether it was the cause or not.
I've never heard much for any chronic mood destabilization from using MDMA only once, especially in the low amount you did
 
Thanks for the advice again. I'll look into Neurozan. I just hope this fades as quickly as possible. I really don't want this affecting my future negatively. I really do care about where I end up in life, and I have my senior design project coming up next year, so I wanna be 100% for that. It does kind of worry me that this might last ~6 months. I don't want to partake in any alcohol, caffeine, or drugs until I completely feel like myself again. The reason being is I don't wanna take one step forward and two steps back as far as my recovery is concerned. I agree with you that the redose is what did me in. I really wish I had known what I was dealing with before I decided to do it again, but I've just got to pull through now.

I used to be an avid coffee drinker. I would drink it every morning, but now I'm still too sensitive to caffeine to take it back up. I would like to believe this is all in my head, but when I can't do something I used to normally do everyday, that's gotta be some sort of sign, no? Futura, how much did you dose in order for your recovery time to be that long?
 
Futura, how much did you dose in order for your recovery time to be that long?
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It was a 3 day festival and I probably took 10-12 pills over three days. It wasnt the redose that got me or the stupidly high dose I took but someone gave me a pill that turned out to be piperazine on the last night and this made me go sideways. My face heated up, I couldnt stand up then I didnt sleep for three days. Finally I slept and woke up with the most awful anxiety etc that lasted for the 6 months.

From what I have seen on bluelight it seems a lot of the long term comedowns seem to last for about 6 months I dont know exactly why I guess this is how long the brain takes to reach an equilibrium.

Currently I am on another long term comedown from the same issue with MDMA and piperazine for some reason I didnt learn HR the first time. This time the comedown has lasted 18 months and counting.

My overall drug intake is way higher than yours +500 lifetime doses and I am likely a lot older 39 so dont worrey yourself by making comparisons too much. Based on your limited dose and history you will recover a lot quicker than this.

Definitely dont take any more drugs until you are 100% recovered that will set back the clock for sure. Avoiding alcohol and caffeine is also advised :)

A lot of your problems right now will be fueled on anxiety you have to do your best to accept your situation and live life without too much analysis. Whats done is done the situation will improve it just needs more time and care of your body. The sooner you accept and live with the issues ironically the quicker they will fade. Anxiety is a kind of loop that needs to be broken. Your mind plays tricks on you.
 
True. What's done is done. I'm glad the semester is finally over for me to relieve my mind of insane stress. Mechanical engineering is definitely not a fun degree plan, but I chose it because I wanted to make something of myself. Without taking the drugs I took on spring break I would have made things a lot more manageable, but I pulled through. I'm pretty sure I pulled A's (maybe besides one class) and I'm proud of that. Hopefully I can get this scientific publication from my research submitted before I start my summer internship (if I passed my drug test hopefully).

Now that I've got the summer, I plan to workout daily like I was doing before the incident and just come at ease with myself and let my mind run its own course without worrying about how long it's going to last. In the process, I know my positivity and confidence will regain themselves.

Futura I wish the best for yourself too man. You probably know how to deal with this a lot better than I do, so I'm not one to give much advice. In my situation, I'm just listening to my own body and mind and never touching E ever again or any other synthetics for that matter after feeling what I felt after that second night. I would really like for you to do the same, but you're in charge of what you put into your body :/. I had my experience, and that was the end of that shit. One I recover, weed is probably all I'll ever need lol.
 
ggarza what kind of stree were you dealing with before you took the pills? It's hard to say because everyone is different, but I took 3-4 doses of 200MG over 4 days, and after about a week I am feeling a lot better. I'm 100% sure that a large percentage of it is in your head. When you start getting anxiety or feeling really bad, just know you don't HAVE to think about it. Just think about something fun, or think about something that will keep your mind off it. I've been doing that the past 2 or 3 days and I've been able to keep my panic attacks and anxiety away, I have some Xanax that I'm ready to take but I'm hoping I won't have to. Also, if you have something that's stressing you out, just do it and quit worrying about it. That also made my anxiety and panic attacks go away.
 
Before I took them, I was registered for 14 college credit hours. All of them being upper level engineering courses. On top of that, I was doing materials science research at the university. So, I was pretty busy before I went off to enjoy my spring break. After spring break, of course, things only got busier. I didn't know anything about ecstasy, and I treated it kind of like I would've treated xanax. I didn't know anything about giving yourself time to recover or any of that jazz. I still hold a grudge against some of my friends that were with me whom were experienced users who didn't give me any forewarning. They knew I had planned to dose two days in a row without any harm reduction, yet they didn't tell me shit. Fuck them for that.

Those two experiences will be the only experiences I will ever have with the drug. I'm going to focus on bettering myself now. I know the side effects will subside so long as I keep my head up. I'm not going to over-analyze anything anymore, and everything will work itself out. Hopefully in about 2-3 months, I will see close to a full recovery.
 
well..
its probably better that you do stay away from synthetic substances as you might just be highly effected by them more than other people.
but im fairly certain that whatever you took was not mdma.
for one, most capsuled mdma in the us should be more like 1/8th or less full, it takes more of the rcs/"bathsalts" to get you off so people claim that they are fat doses.
two, i have gone on binges consisting of 150-400mg doses and redoses, serveral times a day over weekends and never experienced the nero toxicity you speak of.
three, most people dont know about testing so therefore have no idea of what they are selling to their friends.
your friends most likely had no idea they where where consuming and selling.

was the substance inside the capsule shiny shards or was is dull white powder? if it was dull it is almost for sure something else or very cut. if it was shards there is still about a 70% chance that it is some other rc if you are in the US.

the longest mdma hangover i have ever had was about 4-5 days.
in my opinion you either did not take mdma or your body reacts differently to mdma(which is not uncommon)
 
You're probably right. I know it was probably a mixture of things and it might not have even contained MDMA but rather something else which was meant to mimic it. It was a dull powder. It was hardly even white. It had more of a tan/brown hue to it. Whatever it was, the second night I took it, it drained any of the serotonin I had left in my system.

I'm defintely becoming more like myself again so long as I don't over analyze the situation. Slight anxiety still exists, and the tingling sensations are still there. Abstinence and healthy diet are still key for recovery. I'm thinking of ordering some neurozan to speed up the process.
 
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