Rubber_Duck
Bluelighter
*sigh*
This was my first and most probably my last experience with it, after reading these extra ordinary events and my journal right at the end you soon realise how my environment turned into a slight nightmare of reality!
A couple of my friends who are a little older than me, they are respectively experienced users back in the day. We decided to get hold of “rainbows” the trips that were circulating my small town.
We all met up at a pub in the city, the reason why we did was because the group of 7 of us wanted to meet in undisclosed pub. Two of the people in the group where having problems with there married partners, she had organised with her one partner to go on a fishing trip, and it was great excuse for her to go out partying with us. My other friend was married and was contemplating having a divorce.
The scene was set when we decided to go back to the girls house because we thought he had left to go fishing for the week. All proceeded to drop the lsd with many of us very nervous, it was weird chewing on this cardboard piece for about 30 minutes. Nothing really happened, sat there…..all sitting so very anxious laughing at pointless jokes.
A couple of us started to feel an edgy feeling in our jaws, our eyes became very glazy and at this point of time I was thinking is this it.
BANG BANG
Someone is knocking on the door, its now 1 am, My friend tells us all to hind in the room, there is 6 of us, huddling in a dark room, I decided, what are we doing, all our cars are parked out in front. I walk out first……
Its her husband………but…………was he real? I keep staring at him, he keeps staring at me, im the only person who walked out the room at that present time , his mind must have been going wtf is this guy doing here, and im looking at him thinking “ FUCK this acid is good because im imagining that her husband is in her house…….how freaking weird is that because hes meant to be 4 hours away.
Reality kicked in when she looked at me and looked at her, I was thinking fuck this is not good, everyone slowly tip toes out the room, making him more and more angry because he didn’t know any of this was planned.
You can smell the tension in the air, I have always been told that you have to have a comfortable environment for your trip, I was with people who I trusted…..but this got all to weird, we decided we have to go to my other mayts house who was with us. His house was 45 minutes north near my house, all jumped into our cars, a BMW and skyline racing home before the trip gets even stronger…….well the minute I started to get through the winding tunnel, I started to get clammy hands the tunnel which should take 3 minutes to go through, lasted about 10 minutes in my world, the lights started to do a tunnel vision……..all of a sudden the music in the car became the best thing I have ever heard.
We arrive at his house, which is probably the other side of the city…….after the drive and concentration it felt that the trip was going in and out. We all started to sit in lounge talking about how crazy the drive was and started to make jokes about how bush man survived by making fire out of sticks. His house had several cats which at every turn would jump out.
We all walking around the house aimlessly, trying to focus on the timber vinyl floor which had a busy pattern, waiting for something to move.
Then
BANG BANG…………..
We all freaked out, like literally………….who fuck can that be!
We opened the door, it was the husband of the other girl we where with. He walked in….looking at us as if we had done a murder. He looked straight at his wife, his eyes could seriously have committed the murder himself. I had several pills with me because I wanted to candy flip as well. I was so nervous that I sold him a lot of pills, that didn’t leave much for any of us. Then he walked out.
“All in 3 minutes”
We then just started talking about random things……….it took a couple minutes for us to click, firstly how the fuck did he find this house which is in the sticks of Perth. Secondly he doesn’t really buy pills, and thirdly he was in and out……as if he was a professional undercover cop.
Time has gone, its now about 3am, started to sit down on the floor, I notice the walls starting to curve, the floor was moving in a rolling fashion like something id compare to the way water flows in a river. I remember going out side for my first cigarette, thinking to myself, what have I done to myself,,,,,,contemplating, am I enjoying this, is this going to be better, try to confirm with myself to relax and let it all go,,,,,,I keep trying to light my cigarette, but it wouldn’t light……I look at it,……the cigarette started growing……started to bend in all directions,,,,,,my eyes where flickering because of the sparks that the lighter was emitting when I was trying to light it. I look into his garden,,,,,,,everthing was sharper, greener, it looked like something id compare to living on an island, everything just mad so much scents.
BANG BANG
I couldn’t open the front door because it self locked itself!
BANG BANG BANG
No one would open the door, I didn’t want to scream, I just kept knocking, my hand became sore, I look behind, things became to move and I imagined vines taking me into the jungle, My conscious kicks in, they don’t want me to come back in, but…….they where all my friends, why would they want to lock me out. Did I do something wrong, don’t do it to me now, not while im like this………..I soon realised that this is a severe case of Paranoia.
I kept banging and banging until someone opened the door, they all look at me when they opened the door, they all freaked out that it was me, and I was freaked out when I looked at them, They thought that I was my friends husband coming to bash them up. I then realised how it would have been for them to hear the banging, and we all started to laugh hysterically.
There was this girl with us, she totally went crazy/mental on this trip……..she reminded me of Egyptian goddess screaming and ranting about how she thinks the world works, she was on her knees and hands looking at us almost feline dictating about the world problems, the more we laughed and listened the faster and louder she would speak,,,,,,it came to the stage that she looked like she was going to orgasm…….she really needed to be left alone, we where worried about her mental status.
I felt so empty when walking around the house, cats jumping from everywhere, I decided to take MDMA, hoping that it would give me energy, some sort of euphoria, something that id feel accustom too, many a time.
My mind was racing a million miles, about life, and I become a very bitter angry person and wrote a journal about bluelight because I hated bluelight that day, it was the acid in my head creating me to think evil things.
“”Tsk tsk tsk Bluelight,
A very clever game you play, a site about drugs, informing us about drugs and meeting people who take drugs.
I think you are the biggest drug, so much information, so much mind games………you select us individually, all ages, all corners of the world………
We trusted you, we held your hand, your hand is holding many of us down!
“but no, im hear……for harm minimization”
*yer sure……another alto ego*
My life, and many lives have changed, I don’t like it……..its funny you know!
You see I was with this girl right, and I introduced her to a bluelight friend, and now she run off with him after 3 years of a relationship!
You see, its like this word, Relationship, (association, connection, affiliation)
We all create this relationship with you, this relationship that’s destroying many of our personal relationships, let it be self control, money and marriage.
The problem is, things became to open, we trusted you, we posted journals we shared everything with you, but it got leaked, we are scared now, everyone knows, I must hide.
“its…..well….. your choice”
*but my dear Mr Bluelight………….Its like you hurt me/everyone more than they deserve, how can you be so cruel? I trusted you more than you deserve, how can I be such a fool? *
So what do we do, where do I, and all of us go on from here. Do we forget about you?, leave all our prints/fonts/italics and bolds behind.
“but will you leave friendships behind?”
*No , why you ask………Meh, more like comrades, its like, war really. Conscript to, meat great people, all walks of life, stood by each other, did what we had to do when we went to the front lines like at some “ sci fi rave”, but it wasn’t a relationship……the relationship was with you, its like a friendship, you know! At war, shooting drugs, turned out to be all great people. We are the comrades, but the aftershock, the bass is still sounding in my ears, beating inside of me, heart racing ever so fast, hormones going insane.
This just became to weird bluelight, its freedom we want. That’s what we are fighting for.
The freedom of not letting no man or lady for that matter to tell us what to do with our lives. You see, our comrades, the space shuttles we deploy. The comrades trust each other, it was so easy to trust. Dear mr bluelight you chose the right people, but this trust shot shrapnel’s to our very own relationships in our personal lives. We couldn’t find trust there. Its not easy………………..
“I know it isn’t”
*good night*
This was my first and most probably my last experience with it, after reading these extra ordinary events and my journal right at the end you soon realise how my environment turned into a slight nightmare of reality!
A couple of my friends who are a little older than me, they are respectively experienced users back in the day. We decided to get hold of “rainbows” the trips that were circulating my small town.
We all met up at a pub in the city, the reason why we did was because the group of 7 of us wanted to meet in undisclosed pub. Two of the people in the group where having problems with there married partners, she had organised with her one partner to go on a fishing trip, and it was great excuse for her to go out partying with us. My other friend was married and was contemplating having a divorce.
The scene was set when we decided to go back to the girls house because we thought he had left to go fishing for the week. All proceeded to drop the lsd with many of us very nervous, it was weird chewing on this cardboard piece for about 30 minutes. Nothing really happened, sat there…..all sitting so very anxious laughing at pointless jokes.
A couple of us started to feel an edgy feeling in our jaws, our eyes became very glazy and at this point of time I was thinking is this it.
BANG BANG
Someone is knocking on the door, its now 1 am, My friend tells us all to hind in the room, there is 6 of us, huddling in a dark room, I decided, what are we doing, all our cars are parked out in front. I walk out first……
Its her husband………but…………was he real? I keep staring at him, he keeps staring at me, im the only person who walked out the room at that present time , his mind must have been going wtf is this guy doing here, and im looking at him thinking “ FUCK this acid is good because im imagining that her husband is in her house…….how freaking weird is that because hes meant to be 4 hours away.
Reality kicked in when she looked at me and looked at her, I was thinking fuck this is not good, everyone slowly tip toes out the room, making him more and more angry because he didn’t know any of this was planned.
You can smell the tension in the air, I have always been told that you have to have a comfortable environment for your trip, I was with people who I trusted…..but this got all to weird, we decided we have to go to my other mayts house who was with us. His house was 45 minutes north near my house, all jumped into our cars, a BMW and skyline racing home before the trip gets even stronger…….well the minute I started to get through the winding tunnel, I started to get clammy hands the tunnel which should take 3 minutes to go through, lasted about 10 minutes in my world, the lights started to do a tunnel vision……..all of a sudden the music in the car became the best thing I have ever heard.
We arrive at his house, which is probably the other side of the city…….after the drive and concentration it felt that the trip was going in and out. We all started to sit in lounge talking about how crazy the drive was and started to make jokes about how bush man survived by making fire out of sticks. His house had several cats which at every turn would jump out.
We all walking around the house aimlessly, trying to focus on the timber vinyl floor which had a busy pattern, waiting for something to move.
Then
BANG BANG…………..
We all freaked out, like literally………….who fuck can that be!
We opened the door, it was the husband of the other girl we where with. He walked in….looking at us as if we had done a murder. He looked straight at his wife, his eyes could seriously have committed the murder himself. I had several pills with me because I wanted to candy flip as well. I was so nervous that I sold him a lot of pills, that didn’t leave much for any of us. Then he walked out.
“All in 3 minutes”
We then just started talking about random things……….it took a couple minutes for us to click, firstly how the fuck did he find this house which is in the sticks of Perth. Secondly he doesn’t really buy pills, and thirdly he was in and out……as if he was a professional undercover cop.
Time has gone, its now about 3am, started to sit down on the floor, I notice the walls starting to curve, the floor was moving in a rolling fashion like something id compare to the way water flows in a river. I remember going out side for my first cigarette, thinking to myself, what have I done to myself,,,,,,contemplating, am I enjoying this, is this going to be better, try to confirm with myself to relax and let it all go,,,,,,I keep trying to light my cigarette, but it wouldn’t light……I look at it,……the cigarette started growing……started to bend in all directions,,,,,,my eyes where flickering because of the sparks that the lighter was emitting when I was trying to light it. I look into his garden,,,,,,,everthing was sharper, greener, it looked like something id compare to living on an island, everything just mad so much scents.
BANG BANG
I couldn’t open the front door because it self locked itself!
BANG BANG BANG
No one would open the door, I didn’t want to scream, I just kept knocking, my hand became sore, I look behind, things became to move and I imagined vines taking me into the jungle, My conscious kicks in, they don’t want me to come back in, but…….they where all my friends, why would they want to lock me out. Did I do something wrong, don’t do it to me now, not while im like this………..I soon realised that this is a severe case of Paranoia.
I kept banging and banging until someone opened the door, they all look at me when they opened the door, they all freaked out that it was me, and I was freaked out when I looked at them, They thought that I was my friends husband coming to bash them up. I then realised how it would have been for them to hear the banging, and we all started to laugh hysterically.
There was this girl with us, she totally went crazy/mental on this trip……..she reminded me of Egyptian goddess screaming and ranting about how she thinks the world works, she was on her knees and hands looking at us almost feline dictating about the world problems, the more we laughed and listened the faster and louder she would speak,,,,,,it came to the stage that she looked like she was going to orgasm…….she really needed to be left alone, we where worried about her mental status.
I felt so empty when walking around the house, cats jumping from everywhere, I decided to take MDMA, hoping that it would give me energy, some sort of euphoria, something that id feel accustom too, many a time.
My mind was racing a million miles, about life, and I become a very bitter angry person and wrote a journal about bluelight because I hated bluelight that day, it was the acid in my head creating me to think evil things.
“”Tsk tsk tsk Bluelight,
A very clever game you play, a site about drugs, informing us about drugs and meeting people who take drugs.
I think you are the biggest drug, so much information, so much mind games………you select us individually, all ages, all corners of the world………
We trusted you, we held your hand, your hand is holding many of us down!
“but no, im hear……for harm minimization”
*yer sure……another alto ego*
My life, and many lives have changed, I don’t like it……..its funny you know!
You see I was with this girl right, and I introduced her to a bluelight friend, and now she run off with him after 3 years of a relationship!
You see, its like this word, Relationship, (association, connection, affiliation)
We all create this relationship with you, this relationship that’s destroying many of our personal relationships, let it be self control, money and marriage.
The problem is, things became to open, we trusted you, we posted journals we shared everything with you, but it got leaked, we are scared now, everyone knows, I must hide.
“its…..well….. your choice”
*but my dear Mr Bluelight………….Its like you hurt me/everyone more than they deserve, how can you be so cruel? I trusted you more than you deserve, how can I be such a fool? *
So what do we do, where do I, and all of us go on from here. Do we forget about you?, leave all our prints/fonts/italics and bolds behind.
“but will you leave friendships behind?”
*No , why you ask………Meh, more like comrades, its like, war really. Conscript to, meat great people, all walks of life, stood by each other, did what we had to do when we went to the front lines like at some “ sci fi rave”, but it wasn’t a relationship……the relationship was with you, its like a friendship, you know! At war, shooting drugs, turned out to be all great people. We are the comrades, but the aftershock, the bass is still sounding in my ears, beating inside of me, heart racing ever so fast, hormones going insane.
This just became to weird bluelight, its freedom we want. That’s what we are fighting for.
The freedom of not letting no man or lady for that matter to tell us what to do with our lives. You see, our comrades, the space shuttles we deploy. The comrades trust each other, it was so easy to trust. Dear mr bluelight you chose the right people, but this trust shot shrapnel’s to our very own relationships in our personal lives. We couldn’t find trust there. Its not easy………………..
“I know it isn’t”
*good night*
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
