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19 year old burnout

cyberius

cyberius

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 11, 2013
Messages
1,571
I've lived through so much drug abuse and a couple overdoses. I'm quickly finding new challenges going clean that are making me want to escape now more than ever.

Since I started going clean I'm finding that I am significantly slower than people around me, I have an overactive brain that doesn't turn off (super bad anxiety), my ADHD has been amplified tenfold and I can't focus for shit (I can't get meds since I'm a known drug abuser :( ), and nothing makes me happy anymore and my emotional skin is paper thin at best.

I've developed horribly reclusive coping methods because of all this. People just exhaust me now, my mind runs in circles whenever I talk to someone and it turns into bigger trouble than it's worth (for me, mostly). I only find solice in music, and in an environment I can fully control and focus on at my own speed.

/rant

I just want to go back to normal; to get my brain cells back and be as mentally healthy as I was before I started using drugs. It's so hard to change now, and to get back on track with my life. Is there anything I can do supplement wise, or changing my behaviors to quicken recovery? I won't give up but life right now is fucking incredibly painful for no damned reason.
 
What were you using?

I went through the same reclusive pattern and it takes a while to want to interface with the real world again. Do you have the resources to support yourself while you stay clean on your own?
 
Captain.Heroin said:
What were you using?

I went through the same reclusive pattern and it takes a while to want to interface with the real world again. Do you have the resources to support yourself while you stay clean on your own?
Click to expand...

Heavy cannabis use, heavy MDMA use, heavy psychedelic use, I used everything though. I do, I have a very good life, but my troubles are just uncontrollable inner turmoil.
 
cyberius said:
Heavy cannabis use, heavy MDMA use, heavy psychedelic use, I used everything though. I do, I have a very good life, but my troubles are just uncontrollable inner turmoil.
Click to expand...

heavy meaning daily use of psychedelics?

I really really liked psychedelics and I used them quite often. I can understand what you're going through.

I am still using cannabis, I don't feel able to quit it but I can cut back when I need to.

Do you see a therapist? Have you considered going to NA meetings?
 
Captain.Heroin said:
heavy meaning daily use of psychedelics?

I really really liked psychedelics and I used them quite often. I can understand what you're going through.

I am still using cannabis, I don't feel able to quit it but I can cut back when I need to.

Do you see a therapist? Have you considered going to NA meetings?
Click to expand...

Heavy more in the way of high doses and binges, using 300-400mg mdma per roll weekly, going through ounces of bud in 3-5 days, and using up a sheet of acid in a month.
 
cyberius said:
Heavy more in the way of high doses and binges, using 300-400mg mdma per roll weekly, going through ounces of bud in 3-5 days, and using up a sheet of acid in a month.
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I'd take acid at least 3 to 5 times a week before.

So you don't use any cannabis at all? That's likely what you're feeling awful from. Give it at least 2 weeks, you'll start to feel better.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I'd take acid at least 3 to 5 times a week before.

So you don't use any cannabis at all? That's likely what you're feeling awful from. Give it at least 2 weeks, you'll start to feel better.
Click to expand...

I've stopped cannabis use a few months ago, it started to give me massive anxiety; and drugs in general trigger very toxic reactions and panic attacks now. I've been 100% clean for 1 month but I still feel the same as where I was when I was using.

You've come back from a lot, wow. Can you say you're mentally in check after all you've been through? I'm sort of stuck on the feeling I won't ever fully recover from the damage I've done.
 
You need to physically and mentally exhaust yourself. Run six miles a day. Take the hardest fucking classes you can handle. Eat as healthy as possible, your brain needs specific nutrients to replenish neurotransmitters. Volunteer. You are going to be okay. You have your entire life ahead of you!
 
If you would like my help or advice text me or message me here. I feel for you, I am 19 years old I've been a heavy drug user for a few years but I'm finally sober. You may not remember how good sober feels but it can be as euphoric as a drug and you can do it. I promise you, you can do it. 7745354780 - Chin up hommie
 
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