Hello, this is my first time posting. Ive read so many amazing stories and encouragement, which, i am in desperate need of right now. A little background about myself:
I am a 36 year old female. I was prescribed opiate pain meds at the age of 16 and quickly realized how much i loved them. It progressed into full addiction when i was about 19 and both my parents came down with cancer and there were oxys galore. When my parents died i was 23 And this was the first time i detoxed. I was put on subs for 2 yrs but abused them after only a few months, going back to the pills and only taking the subs when i couldn't get the pills.
A year later i met the love of my life. I was offered a job in tx which he decided to come with me to and i quit the subs/pills cold turkey. We spent a yr in tx and a yr at another job in the virgin islands. Those 2 years were the longest period off opiates.
Came home and immediately went back to the pills. This is getting really long so to speed it up 4 yrs ago i switched to heroin. I hid it and lied to my fiance for yrs till he caught me numerous times. He had always liked pills recreational recreationally, but, soon he just took tge attitude if you cant beat em join em. So much guilt there.
To the present, weve been using heroin together for 2 yrs. He overdosed twice and i nearly killed myself overdosing after we got clean this last January. We got clean last summer which only lasted a month and then again 3 months ago after my near fatal overdose. While we were clean this last January i got pregnant. I didn't know and we started using again.im now 17 weeks and havent been to a doctor. I did go to a confidential pregnancy clinic that confirmed everything looked good at 8 and a half weeks. I didnt want to get put on subutex or methadone and have the poor Child be born addicted bc of my horrible choices. So, we decided once i reached my 2nd trimester (2 weeks ago) that we would quit cold turkey again using the thomas recipe and additional vitamins. We started monday and i made it 40 hrs before going out and using. I. Used 2 days in A row, last fix last night. I am just so lost and confused right now. I am going for it again today and pray to have tge strength to make it.
Well, this has been long enough. Pls keep me in your thoughts.
I am a 36 year old female. I was prescribed opiate pain meds at the age of 16 and quickly realized how much i loved them. It progressed into full addiction when i was about 19 and both my parents came down with cancer and there were oxys galore. When my parents died i was 23 And this was the first time i detoxed. I was put on subs for 2 yrs but abused them after only a few months, going back to the pills and only taking the subs when i couldn't get the pills.
A year later i met the love of my life. I was offered a job in tx which he decided to come with me to and i quit the subs/pills cold turkey. We spent a yr in tx and a yr at another job in the virgin islands. Those 2 years were the longest period off opiates.
Came home and immediately went back to the pills. This is getting really long so to speed it up 4 yrs ago i switched to heroin. I hid it and lied to my fiance for yrs till he caught me numerous times. He had always liked pills recreational recreationally, but, soon he just took tge attitude if you cant beat em join em. So much guilt there.
To the present, weve been using heroin together for 2 yrs. He overdosed twice and i nearly killed myself overdosing after we got clean this last January. We got clean last summer which only lasted a month and then again 3 months ago after my near fatal overdose. While we were clean this last January i got pregnant. I didn't know and we started using again.im now 17 weeks and havent been to a doctor. I did go to a confidential pregnancy clinic that confirmed everything looked good at 8 and a half weeks. I didnt want to get put on subutex or methadone and have the poor Child be born addicted bc of my horrible choices. So, we decided once i reached my 2nd trimester (2 weeks ago) that we would quit cold turkey again using the thomas recipe and additional vitamins. We started monday and i made it 40 hrs before going out and using. I. Used 2 days in A row, last fix last night. I am just so lost and confused right now. I am going for it again today and pray to have tge strength to make it.
Well, this has been long enough. Pls keep me in your thoughts.