165mg IR Dexedrine. I'm tolerant and scared to death.

zarathustra74

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Apr 24, 2010
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I have ADHD and I have been on Dexedrine for seven years on and off.
I have a GP who gives me 180 5mg tabs a month, they are usually done within two weeks with a few days off.
But now I have a psychiatrist also giving me the same script, and neither doctor knows of each other!! I know I am HUGELY tolerant, and digging a really big hole for myself, but I can't stop taking it or thinking about it. I don't even know why the hell I take it when it's not even pleasent or effective, it just causes anxiety and energy. So far today I have taken three 40mg doses, and will prob take one or two more. I am very scared, and even more terrified of the withdrawal that's coming soon, I have never taken as much as I've taken in the last month before.
DO NOT GIVE ME A SERMON ABOUT THIS!
I obviously know I need help, and believe me I also know I was stupid to let this go so far. I am quite "skilled" in getting scripts from hospitals and walkin clinics so I think my plan might be to taper: unfortunately I haven't heard of anyone taking doses like me before so advice is sparce.

This was my first post and I've been putting it off for weeks, so it's brief. If I am still alive, you can expect many more.
Sincerely
"Addicted in Toronto"
 
I don't believe that Dexedrine is that toxic, it used to be over the counter and very effective.

You sound like you have an addictive personality and take them out of habit.

How do you stop? If you have someone close to you to watch over your actions you may have to ask them to hold them for you, or just flush the pills or get rid of them somehow (what a shame, I wish I got GSK IRs).

I don't believe there is anything physically addicting about Dexedrine/Adderall (you can stop cold turkey), but tapering sounds like a good idea.

Are you able to sleep at all on those doses?
 
I would suggest a detox or if you can swing it do it at home and get someone to dole out the pills for you. You could taper down to a sane dose pretty fast if you wanted to and stay on that for awile.

I have a pretty insane natural tolerance to dexedrine myself and ive spent whole nights eating handfuls of them chest pains and all :( . So i can understand how easy it is to get up to such a dose.
 
I should clarify the "165mg" in my thread title, that is how much I took yesterday: four doses of 30mg and one dose of 45mg, I smoked almost 2 packs of cigarettes, had about ten coffees and walked about twenty kilometers in the city...when I take Dexedrine I crave music badly! I put my headphones on and crank up the reo-speedwagon and just walk and walk and walk...music is absolutely magical.
 
Sometimes its not the drug itself you're addicted to, it's the process of doing it, like how some people who shoot up miss the needle more than the drug itself.

Taper down just in case you do have withdrawals bad, but the mental part of stopping abusing something is the hardest part, maybe not as hard as coming off opiates, but still bad enough. I know what it feels like to think about the drug constantly when you don't have it and thinking about when you'll next dose when you do have it.

Good luck xoxo
 
Johnny Cash was doing~500750mg daily+tranks at his peak in 1966, he looked bad
 
500g of dextroamphetamine? a day?

His brain would have been severely damaged, to the point that the dopaminergic system would not be able to repair itself.
 
No true he was taking~100+ SKF E19

It's true he was taking 100+ 5mg orange shields at the height of his Dex abuse from 1959-1967, Black beauties, Dexamyl when he had too-read it.

He said of his first benzedrine pill in 1959 "I had an electricity flowing thru me, total confidence and powerfullness, but despite the thousands i later took i never felt that again"
 
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Maybe you could get off of them and get put on Wellbutrin or something? I used to be pretty addicted to Dexies, I still crave them from time to time, one of my favorite drugs. That's a pretty huge tolerance you have, I guess ideally you could taper down, have someone you trust hold onto the pills and give you your daily dosage. I remember when I was bingeing on Dexedrine I finally ran out of money and got really depressed, out of curiosity I tried Wellbutrin because I knew it worked on the Dopamine receptors and amazingly I felt normal again and my cravings for the drug were minimal.

All I can say is I understand how easy it would be to take that much if you had that amount of access to it, it's a pretty damn smooth high and I could very easily be in your shoes if I had that much Dexedrine prescribed to me. Best of luck to you, you'll probably need to get some help from someone who is close to you, if only for the emotional support.
 
If you take heroic doses of dextroamphetamine over time you will not be fine! Ask any vetern tweaker and they will tell you that. As for Johnny Cash (may he rest in peace) his outragous amphetamine addiction may have contributed to his illness.
 
"his outragous amphetamine addiction may have contributed to his illness."

No doubt, he never got over it, he got Parkinsons in his later years. It's said he quit drugs in 1967, but apparently he never took a drug-free breath until his death in 2003. Amphetamines didn't kill him thou.

Rock n roll was built on speed, Elvis' Waylon jennings' all the early pioneers took it. The Beatles took Pleludin (more euphoric than amps, less SEs-and the first stimulant banned) during their early Hamburg days in 1960.
 
I was prescribed 30mg Adderall IR [4x daily], I dont know what my doctor was thinking nor do I know what I was thinking. That multiple year run fucked me up so bad, I was literally insane. I would be up for days on end. I was also on bupe, benzos, and sleepers. A pill to wake up, a pill to settle my opiate cravings, a pill to calm down, a pill to sleep [if I felt like it], more like multiple pills every couple hours. I think at one point I was scripted close to 15 pills of different abusable meds per day not to mention street drugs and illict.

Looking back my doctor was a drug dealer plain and simple, but hey at least I wasn't shooting dope all those years, right? Anyways. I completely lost it, hearing voices, so paranoid, scared the fuck out of all my friends family, and really started to scare myself. A typical amphetamine induced psychosis, I was gone. I decided to check into detox than rehab. Benzo w/d really didnt start to hit me until a month or so after I got out.

I was just shaking like a fucking leaf on a branch during a spring thunderstorm, the sky was green-black. I than checked into a psych ward because the doctors didnt really know what to do and I was refusing benzos. I completely gave up and said fuck it man I'll go. Things were pretty bad I was still tweaking in my head a bit and on top of benzo w/d, I was just a shell of a person. I could feel my brain bending and I didnt want to find out what happened when it cracked.

I remember on the ride over [they made me ride in an ambulance] and low and behold I used to party with the ambulance crew. He used to come over to a friends house and give us vitamin drips, just completely nuts. He gave me some ativan for the ride and I remember being so pissed for taking it.

Amps fucked up SO much shit in my life I cant even begin to explain it all. I was never an upper person but that changed, :\

Be careful man.

sorry if this was too long...

peace,
seedless
 
I remember when I accidentally stumbled upon dexedrine one day, I immediately loved it before I even knew what it was. Then when I found out that some of my favorite music artists (Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings...etc.) used it early on in their careers it was just like adding fuel to the fire, being a musician myself I wanted to experience the binges first hand just like my heroes. It was a lot of fun for awhile, then I discovered how horrible those comedowns are, but I learned to always have something on hand to knock me out when I needed to. Luckily this period only lasted a year or so, it's amazing how that drug can sneak up on you. It's really dangerous when all your heroes are junkies.
 
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