15th Issue Heroin Discussion v. Be the Death of Me

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Effect said:
Damn i wish i had a lil stash of a few diff benzos like you have haha. And to answer your question, theres plenty of people that have scripts for them around here, but I haven't met many people that are willing to sell more then a couple here or there. Not only that, but usually when I have money that is going to drugs, its for opiates. If i were to get on sub though, I would spend a lot to keep myself with a good stash of benzos on hand like you do.
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You don't really need benzos for getting adjusted to the suboxone. You have to be careful that you don't get hooked on benzos to fill the void of not getting high of dope while on sub. I had a nasty xanax habit while on suboxone, and that was the only time I ever abused them like that, yet I've been prescribed them for 6 years and took them as prescribed before and after I was on suboxone, but during I went crazy with them.
 
Yeah man fuckin subs when ya can't get high on em xanax is what I akways turn to an actually I'm surprised it hasn't turned into a habit not that I want that fuck that. But I could imagine that shit gettn expensive I pop em an tollernce builds up quickly.
 
why,would you take extra done some days then be sick for two days just to get alittle high,doesmt seem worth it ,i guess its up to your self control.
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
A part of you is always going to miss that feeling. Quitting H or any drug really you've developed a strong addiction with, is like loosing a lover. A piece of you is missing, a big piece usually as for most of us, heroin took up a huge portion of our lives. It's our girlfriend, our family, our best friend, our comfort, it's our everything. So suddenly just taking that away from your life can leave you missing it very much. It begins a sort of mourning/grief period loosing something so important to you.

You need to replace the feelings H gave you with something else. You can't just take something away so powerful from your life. You need to add something positive, be it a hobby, anything you're passionate about.

Just remember at the end of the day, the feeling and gratification H gives you isn't real. It's killing you. That's what's real. Life has so much awesome shit in it that will give you a real rush.

<---Needs to take own advice.. hah.
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Spot on, my dude. Thanks for that.

To those not in our special club, relating dope to a lover, best friend, etc. may seem "sick" to those people, but they simply just have no idea how or what it's like on our side of the fence. Because that's exactly how I feel about dope. I've gone out during a blizzard, sick, while riding on a donut that's been driven on just past 50 miles, just to go and get what I need (or want). I think that speaks volumes for how enamored I am with heroin and opiates in general.

It may be artificial happiness, like the soma in Brave New World, but goddamn if it doesn't hit the spot in my soul that nothing else can seem to penetrate.
 
Mzral said:
Spot on, my dude. Thanks for that.

To those not in our special club, relating dope to a lover, best friend, etc. may seem "sick" to those people, but they simply just have no idea how or what it's like on our side of the fence. Because that's exactly how I feel about dope. I've gone out during a blizzard, sick, while riding on a donut that's been driven on just past 50 miles, just to go and get what I need (or want). I think that speaks volumes for how enamored I am with heroin and opiates in general.

It may be artificial happiness, like the soma in Brave New World, but goddamn if it doesn't hit the spot in my soul that nothing else can seem to penetrate.
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Yeah it sounds crazy to outsiders but that's the closest way I can describe it so that somebody who isn't an addict will understand.
 
I hear that,ive gone into the ghetto sick scared,driven 6 hours in a snow storm to get my sick off,and then some.
 
You gotta really ask yourself if you want to get clean or not. People get on suboxone for one of four reasons:

1) I want to get clean from heroin and this will help.

2) I don't want to get clean, but I can't keep this pace up. With suboxone I can go back and forth.

3) My parents are paying for it and I can flip these for $$$.

4) I am so sick...anything to make it stop.

Unless you fit into 1), the addiction freight train will roll on. I have been at all four of these at some point.

Rapid suboxone (well I prefer subutex) detox is my preferred way of getting clean. I buy just enough to get through acute WD (I can do the whole thing on 12mg) and dose accordingly with the fear of WD reinforcing it. Give me too much sub at once and I will just convert it to h.

People talk about a mood lift or suboxone working as an anti-depressant. I never feel any mental effects from it nor does it stop my cravings. In fact, I have a negative association with it because it means the gig issue up.

As for benzos, I manipulated my last sub doctor into a Xanax script, but when I went to pick it up, the pharmacy chick says "our records show you picked up some Ativan two weeks ago, and we called your doctor and he withdrew the Xanax." She and I just looked at each other for about eight seconds before I turned around and walked away. In retrospect, good call by the doctor. Xanax makes me total cars.

Left the pharmacy and drove to meet dealer. I get to his friend's driveway and immediately it's" please tell me you got those xannies!" (shit!) His friend comes out way - huge Mexican dude covered in tattoos. "Thank god, the dude with the pills is finally here!" (shit!)

"There was a delay at the pharmacy...gonna pick them up later." (Dude had the best h at the time, but loved his benzos)

"Well then I will sell you dope...later..." (seriously???)

Went back to my car and called everyone I knew: "I am after some Xanax."

"Sorry man."
"Me too, let me know if you find any!"
"Sorry, out of town"
"No, but I got some great coke!"

Okay, fuck them, I will just get h from someone else.

Ring...ring...ring...
"Re-upping...call in an hour"
"You have reached..."

Ugh. I can feel my chest getting tight and my stomach is upset. You have Subs at the pharmacy. No! Not giving up yet. Think...

Maybe I can call up the doctor who wrote the Ativan script and complain about side-effects and fish for something different. I hope he can't in any way see what I did today! And it worked. Kept it together through a short visit there despite feeling sicker and sicker. Boom, Xanax. Yes! Different pharmacy, seconds feel like hours. I know I crash cars on this stufd , but...pop two as soon as I leave pharmacy. Drive to dealer's place, get h, he gets Xanax. Do h, do more Xanax, drive home.

Suboxone script sits on the pharmacy shelf collecting dust...

Moral: You gotta want it or shit just rolls on.
 
Yeah suboxone don't really help with cravings. I always got some on deck cuz ya never kno and when I do it I'm just waiting for it to wear off to do a fat shot.

I get some headache fromm it but that's it an only when I do a whole strip but that's what I need to get good an stop the sickness.

Idk bout mood lift though. It feels. As though I get energy on it. It could be mental though idk.
 
Mzral said:
Honestly? Most likely. That dude's posts are normally worth reading and he appears to know what he's talking about.
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i'll give it to him, most of the time he knows what he is talking about but there are several others where i am just looking at the computer screen scratching my head and thinking "DUDE, wtf, i mean REALLY!?!?"

i wont get into specifics, but yeah, he is far from the word that settles all.
 
RedLeader said:
You gotta really ask yourself if you want to get clean or not. People get on suboxone for one of four reasons:

1) I want to get clean from heroin and this will help.

2) I don't want to get clean, but I can't keep this pace up. With suboxone I can go back and forth.

3) My parents are paying for it and I can flip these for $$$.

4) I am so sick...anything to make it stop.

Unless you fit into 1), the addiction freight train will roll on. I have been at all four of these at some point.
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QFT

People talk about a mood lift or suboxone working as an anti-depressant.
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it definitely has some sort of anti-depressant qualities ime.



i feel you on the subs just sitting at the pharmacy, i have done the same thing myself. i used to get 120 bars and 90 2mg extended release xanax from my sub doctor and i would normally cop the xanax and sell them off to get dillies and have the subs at the pharmacy for a week or two before i finally pick them up.



the first time i brought the pharmacy a script for 120 bars, 90 2mg extended release xanax and 90 suboxone my pharmacist was like "im gonna have to call the doctor about this" and i said "why?" and she said "this is an awful lot of xanax to be prescribing someone" so i told her no need i would go to another pharmacy and she said "no i cant let you do that" and tried to hold the scripts but i played it cool and was like "thats fine do you mind if i see those scripts so i can make sure it has the right info and i can write my new phone number on them so you guys can call me when theyre ready" for some dumb reason she said sure and handed me the scripts. i just looked her straight in the eye said thank you and walked the fuck out. fucking hate uppity pharmacists. i told my doctor about it my next appointment and he said and i quote "wouldnt have mattered, i wouldnt have spoken to her. i didnt go to school for 10 years to have someone with no education tell me how to do my job."


fucking awesome imo



this is the same pharmacist that held a script for 280 percocets for 2 days when i had just gotten out of back surgery.
 
it definitely has some sort of anti-depressant qualities ime.
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The only anti-depressant quality it had for me was it was an opiate. After awhile for me it had depressant qualities.
 
I'm currently on methadone, have been since around October. I started tapering just over a month ago and I just got under 50mg, so I'm half way there. It's going to be a much slower process from here on out, you can make bigger drops initially then you have to slow down. But I'll be off by August, which is when I turn 21 and MediCal kicks me off so it's good timing. I could probably taper faster but methadone is really stabilized me and given me a lot of security and peace in my life which I know I wouldn't have gotten from bupe. However, I started methadone after 2 years of opiate abuse, the last 3-4 months spent binging on IV heroin.. due to tolerance, my habit was really big and I'm still paying off the debt I racked up to this day.

I think bupe works wonderful for smaller habits or if you're coming off less potent opiates. But for IV habits and really potent opiates/opioids I really think methadone is the way to go. I agree 100% with the person who said you have to be careful not to up up up your dose trying to chase that high. Tolerance sets in quick and while the methadone will keep you comfortable and craving free, the initial high will fade away quickly and all increasing your dose will achieve is making tapering a really lengthy, pain in the ass if a process.

That being said, it's all about finding the right dose! Too low of a dose will not "hold" you and you will not be comfortable and/or have cravings. Also, coming off an IV habit I really needed to get up to 80mg because for me that was a blocking dose.. once I reached it all other opiates were ineffective. Before picking up the needle, I probably could have started at 40mg and stayed there as I'd always been in control of my habit and physically dependency and a two jobs kept me using. But IV was a whole new monster.. and it really took not being able to use for a few months to really stabilize me before I was able to start my taper.

Not that there are no cons to methadone... you have to know your shit and you can't let yourself get complacent. Some people just go up and up on their dose and stay on methadone for years and years. Those people have a really hard time getting off and sometimes never get off. Keep your dose as low as you can, work on the issues that led you to use, and start your taper. Doesn't matter how slow you taper as long as you're tapering.. whatever works for you. The most common side effects of methadone are sleepiness, sugar cravings, sweating, and constipation. Side effects are more pronounced with high doses. Now that I'm below 50mg I have almost no side effects. But even close to 100mg I managed the sugar cravings by eating fruit which also cured the constipation. I do sometimes get really hot so at my house the windows are always open and I don't wear a lot of clothing. ;) A lot of people pushed me to do bupe but I know many people who went that route and sometimes it just isn't enough.. and going into the methadone clinic isn't that bad, I like the routine and I got my take homes really quickly. I heard all this stigma and stereotypes regarding methadone so I thought it was going to be this awful thing but I really have no complaints. I wish more people recognized what a life saving medication it can be.

I've heard great things about bupe being used off label as an anti-depressant. But methadone is also a proven mood stabilizer. I've dealt with depression as long as I can remember and during some periods of my life I couldn't even get out of bed. Opiates have been the only thing that have worked, without them I literally can't function. Work, school, and just leaving the house are impossible without them. I learned pretty recently that it's very likely that I was born with an endorphin deficiency like my dad. Methadone is very effective for my depression.
 
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BlueHues said:
I've been on both and what you're saying is pretty spot-on.....For a lot of IV heroin users, suboxone doesn't really scratch the itch and get rid of the cravings. That, coupled with the fact that you have nobody really monitoring you and the fact that you have the whole script just sitting there seems to make it harder to really stick with the bupe....

At least it's that way in the beginning....It seems like taking suboxone kind of gets better over time as you adjust to it, and it ends up giving you a nice little glow after a while....It has less side effects for me and I generally have a lot more energy than when I'm on methadone.....

Methadone will give you a high in the beginning, but after a while it just plateaus....It may give you a slight glow everyday that's more similar to being high, but any euphoria goes away very quickly....It makes you constipated and sluggish and going everyday for your dose is a pain in the ass.....the worst mistake you can make on methadone is raising your dose, trying to chase a "high"....A lot of people end up going on really high doses and mixing it with benzos to get high.....I don't think that combo really gives you a whole hell of a lot of euphoria, but it definitely fucks you up and makes you nod.....It's really dangerous though, and kills people all the time....I know of almost as many people who've died from mixing methadone with benzos as I've known die from heroin/benzos.....

I would try the suboxone if you can afford it.....I wouldn't ever take more than 8mgs personally, and once you're stable on it, maintaining on 4 will have you very comfortable.....

Getting off both sucks, but methadone is worse.....I recently cut down to 1mg of sub a day now, and I cheated today and took it 18 hours after my last dose....I don't feel sick, but I'm going through a lot of anxiety, guilt and self-loathing right now....

If you do go with methadone, I wouldn't go over 60mgs.....Just my opinion....
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funny ive tried crack onky like a hanful of times but i only paid for it twice..the first time iasked my dude for a dub of rock to go with my dope and he was like "oh since when you do that? and i told him it was my first time buying it and so i cop and get home and it was soo fat and i smoke it all and i call back the next day for the same thing and he hands me a bag half as big if that. i asked him what it was he gave me and i was like " oh yesterday was fatter" and he laughed and was liie "oh i hooked it up yesterday, you didnt think it was fat?" and i said sure it looked fat but i never bought it before and he was like "oh yeah, well yesterday was first time hookup, what uyou got today is the normal size. and ever sincve that day i never tried it again.

i didnt like the fact for one that i was buying it for the second day in a row but that i smoked double what i thoight i smoked the first day and me dude was being slick and hooked it up like he did. and that i seen what i was really getting for my money and not the fat sack the day before and i knew id rather spend my money on dope.
 
Make sure you post when you get to around 20 mgs of methadone rhun, then we'll see how great methadone really is.
 
^ TBH, I find it rather distasteful though you would in any way discourage someone trying to clean. But I have no problem posting an update here when I reach 20mg.

Funny, I never tried crack till I was on methadone either. A month into the program I was craving dope and one of the other patients hooked me up with some low level dealer who sold black and rock. I go over there and some guy just hands me a pipe. I think a lot of people do coke/rock on methadone because it's one of the few euphoric highs that are still available to you. And once I got into opiates just the thought of speed/meth made me cringe.. I want to feel GOOD, not like total shit.

Anyone else get the server is busy msg? I waited a bit then gave up and walked around town for a bit and did some grocery shopping. Living downtown has definitely grown on me.
 
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I think bupe and methadone serve a purpose. Methadone gave me the desire to clean up. Even with take homes the 'done is a pain in the ass. Subs were not around the first time I got on methadone. But the second time I was on it I made the switch to at 20 mg. I dosed my methadone Sunday morning and Monday morning I started on subs. It was a pretty smooth transition for me. I'm not gonna lie the first time I was at the clinic I kept chasing it till I was at 150 mg but finally realized I was only screwing myself.

My advice would be to stabilize on methadone first. Going to the clinic every day and the random drug tests really kept me from using any drugs at all. Knowing you won't get high is a good motivater too. When you get out of the lifestyle it is easier to maintain on subs. Otherwise it is too easy to skip the subs or trade them for dope.

I hope this helps make a good decision for you whoever it was that was asking.
 
Hey guys,
Anyways I've been using heroin everyday for a few weeks now instead of my normal every now in then... I really regret it so hopefully I'll slow down. So my dealers like my friend and me... think we're beautiful/hot 8) so they've been hooking us up. All our bags have been fat now that we aren't having her brother pick them up for us now. Anyways I got the most awesome stamp yesterday. The dope was fire but why I think it was so awesome was because it was a Hellraiser stamp... had pin head on it too. I thought that was interesting and creepy at the same time. I might post a pic of it and then delete it but not sure yet.
 
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