I had been on Methadone for a long time. It has never taken away cravings and about a year ago I started using fentanyl on the side to catch a buzz. I started using about a gram of the fent a dope a week along wih 170mg Methadone.
Well suprise, my clinic started testing for Fent and I got hit. They took my takehomes and I travel for work, have a great job, family, etc and never failed a test before, so I told them Im out.
I have read about Bernese Method, and have been wanting to switch to suboxone and leave the clinic for a long time so this I considered my time.
I saved my split dose for a week, and then left,
Went immediately down to 90 a week, then tapered the split dose and on Xmas eve jumped off at 30mg methadone.
Monday after Christmas I started Suboxone microdose.
0.25, 0.5, 1, 2, 4, 6, 12 and on 12 day drop
Fent.
Well it went ok till day 6 when the precipitated withdrawals got worse and the fent would take the edge off. Day 7 no fent was hell. Hallucinations, manic, huge double vision, just frightening.
It scared me and I cracked.
So now I am taking clonidine, Agmatine, and fent.
I am down to like 2-3 bags per day. A couple weeks ago I was at a gram every day and a half.
im going 4 hours between doses, and 12 hours at night. Im sleeping okayish, and not feeling much anxiety or other WD.
My problem is my stomach. I feel nauseous around 3pm-7pm every day. Its hard to eat. I havent been able to poop much which is odd.
loperamide seems to help the nausea as does a little fent.
My dr is no help. Is stomach problems common? Should I quit and go back to the clinic...
I want to feel normal, then taper down. I feel close but my stomach gets so uncomfortable
Any ideas?
Thanks yall
I've been down this route myself. I was on a high dose of methadone for several years, been kicked out, the whole 9 yards. I even left the state to get in treatment over 500 miles from home and even left my family, kids, wife and all to do it.. I DO get where you're coming from, but at some point along the way I finally decided to grow up and I was already over 45 years old with several arrest warrants hanging on me..
So long story short I had to drag my sorry ass back to treatment and play by their rules. I went back, got up to 150 mgs and I DID get plain feed up with the obnoxious staff, blah, blah, blah.. Don't let them get to you. I had to lose all takeouts too, but I stuck with it while living in a shed for over 8 years.. One day I got in an argument with my "counselor" a woman I hated the sight of, but I apologized anyway even though I didn't mean a word of it. I just swallowed it all. I was at 155 mgs the day I decided I'd had enough and told them I want to taper off. At first I was able to drop about 10 mgs a week easy and got down to 25 mgs then hit a wall so I stayed at 25 for about a year while my "counselor" did nothing but complain about my hygiene.. At the time I worked every day collecting scrap metal in the HOT Texas sun all day and I had no shower, just a garden hose to clean up. Imagine jumping in and out of dumpsters every day in 100+ degree weather and try to smell fresh as a daisy.. Mind you I haven't had a drivers license since 1994 so lots of driving without a license tickets, arrests, vehicles impounded, etc..AND on a high dose of methadone..
Still I did ween down 1 mg every two weeks until the day I could walk out the door of the clinic and give my now infamous middle finger salute to the entire staff with zero milligrams circulating in my system..
I stayed clean for about 7 years and one day I hurt my back and was right back to the races with fentinyle (sp) for 5 years.. I'm 61 now, 62 in July and got back in treatment in another state in a MUCH BETTER clinic. This time around I never let my dose get over the initial 30mgs. I stayed at 25 for about 5 months then decided to start tapering down again. I'm currently at 7 mgs a day dropping to 6 next week, 5 in two weeks, 4 two weeks after that and eventually off at zero again.. I'm REALLY looking forward to it, but it's not in the least bit easy..
Bottom line is you HAVE to play by all their petty, vindictive and arbitrary rules like it or not or you will be on this tread mill the rest of your life. Even those days you feel like reaching across the counter to rip someone's face right off their skull you have to keep your cool.. Make it your own rules within the boundaries of their rules. It isn't easy and you'll have to put up with endless shit, but in the long run you can walk out of the clinic free and clear.. A year? two years? That's nothing..
Five years ago, maybe six I moved to where I'm at with nothing but the clothes on my back and an old guitar. Last week I purchased a brand new table saw for over $3000 and have a full shop of woodworking tools and have a pretty bright future.. You CAN do this.. Just don't give up.. Good luck man.. You CAN DO it..
Side note.. I just buried my old man last spring (cremated actually). He was 91 and I'm in worse shape physically than he was when he passed away. The years will really fly by if you let it. The past 5 years on fentynil (sp) were like one big blur.. Time has slowed down a bit, but I'm just too old to keep playing this game. I've rebuilt relationships worth keeping and for the first time in my entire adult life I have a few real assets.. I even have my dads house that just closed on probate this morning, a full woodworking shop, a wonderful woman I can actually trust and a bed I know I can sleep in every night. hell, I even have a shred of credit again with my cell phone carrier.. These drugs, as much as they can make the pain go away come with huge costs nobody tells you about. Everything from dire poverty, arrest records to constipation so bad you have to wear rubber gloves to reach up your own ass just to shit.. If that sounds like your kind of life..well...have at it.. I'm done with it.