I couldn't sleep the night before last. So, as soon as I finished my quiz for my 11 AM class, I popped two 1 mg Ativan. I had taken 1 mg a few hours prior. I was also drinking copious amounts of coffee, which probably explains why the loraz didn't knock me out like I intended it to. I proceeded to munch on the ativan through out the day, forgetting how many I had taken by the time I reached 5 or 6 mg. I am prescribed this and never abused it to this extent before. I felt loopy. I wasn't anxiety free, it was more like the anxiety was being smothered by a memory foam pillow. I lost all ability to think ahead and make plans. I just went where ever the wind blew me, letting these yummy pills dissolve in my mouth whenever it felt right. I'm surprised I didn't black out earlier, but I think I have some sort of innate tolerance to benzos.
I am pretty confident the ativan is still in my system, so I apologize if this post is a little spacy. After fucking around for a few hours, some friends and I head over to a mutual friends' birthday party. That's where I start drinking. I first down a large cup of Franzia. Then I have the brilliant idea of mixing gin and cranberry juice. I was really starting to get down now, talking to the strangers there, being a smart ass. At one point the friends I arrived with went outside to smoke a J, but since I am on the devil they call probation I abstained. It was interesting, because for ONCE I got to see what happened to a party when the stoners left to go to their thing. I continued flirting with this cute blonde girl but nothing came out of it. But I think I left a good impression on these people who were nameless to me at the beginning of the night.
Okay, so while I haven't yet blacked out, the memories are full of holes.
The next thing I remember is standing in the hallway with the friends I rolled up with. One of them says something about either wanting to pull the fire alarm, or don't pull the fire alarm (I don't remember and they dispute it). What do you think I did, Oh great junkies of the Blue Light? I pulled that damn alarm and ran.
The last thing I remember is getting into a car, because one of the people we were with was really paranoid and wanted to get outta dodga quick, nawmean?
The next morning, I have that unique feeling, "Where the hell am I?" It's my friends place. Turns out I went to two other places first, remember nothing whatsoever of either. My friend had to carry me out of his house and into the car when it was time for the voyage to the house that would be my resting place for the night.
Somehow my phone found its way into the storage room of the house, one that no one ever goes into it. It is a mystery to me and all my friends how it got there. Most of today was spent going about town trying to gather three very important belongings I lost: my iPod, my Wallet (with $80 in it) and my cigarettes. Turns out I left them sitting on the ledge outside of a building, wide open. So lucky that shit didn't get jacked.
Here's the kicker. When I woke up, my legs were covered in piss. Yes, I was SO FUCKING KNOCKED OUT, that I pissed myself in my sleep rather than waking up.
I am definitely still feeling slower and relatively benziated. I don't think I'll try this "experiment" again!
I am pretty confident the ativan is still in my system, so I apologize if this post is a little spacy. After fucking around for a few hours, some friends and I head over to a mutual friends' birthday party. That's where I start drinking. I first down a large cup of Franzia. Then I have the brilliant idea of mixing gin and cranberry juice. I was really starting to get down now, talking to the strangers there, being a smart ass. At one point the friends I arrived with went outside to smoke a J, but since I am on the devil they call probation I abstained. It was interesting, because for ONCE I got to see what happened to a party when the stoners left to go to their thing. I continued flirting with this cute blonde girl but nothing came out of it. But I think I left a good impression on these people who were nameless to me at the beginning of the night.
Okay, so while I haven't yet blacked out, the memories are full of holes.
The next thing I remember is standing in the hallway with the friends I rolled up with. One of them says something about either wanting to pull the fire alarm, or don't pull the fire alarm (I don't remember and they dispute it). What do you think I did, Oh great junkies of the Blue Light? I pulled that damn alarm and ran.
The last thing I remember is getting into a car, because one of the people we were with was really paranoid and wanted to get outta dodga quick, nawmean?
The next morning, I have that unique feeling, "Where the hell am I?" It's my friends place. Turns out I went to two other places first, remember nothing whatsoever of either. My friend had to carry me out of his house and into the car when it was time for the voyage to the house that would be my resting place for the night.
Somehow my phone found its way into the storage room of the house, one that no one ever goes into it. It is a mystery to me and all my friends how it got there. Most of today was spent going about town trying to gather three very important belongings I lost: my iPod, my Wallet (with $80 in it) and my cigarettes. Turns out I left them sitting on the ledge outside of a building, wide open. So lucky that shit didn't get jacked.
Here's the kicker. When I woke up, my legs were covered in piss. Yes, I was SO FUCKING KNOCKED OUT, that I pissed myself in my sleep rather than waking up.
I am definitely still feeling slower and relatively benziated. I don't think I'll try this "experiment" again!
