-
NSADD Moderators: tryptakid
14th Issue Heroin Discussion v. Hey white boy, what you doin' uptown?
- Thread starter Tommyboy
- Start date
- Status
Damn man. Well at least you didn't continue with it. I've been off all opiates/opioids so far in 2013. I didn't even go hard on NYE, just a little oxy and morphine, but not enough to get a decent buzz.
Thankfully this kick hasn't been bad so far, so I'm hoping to get through it without it getting worse before better. I've had some temazepam and clonidine to help with sleep and anxiety, but no suboxone, methadone, or any other opiates/opioids. I like going cold turkey, and can't really stand drawing the kick out longer by tapering since when I want to kick I want it over with asap.
The worst symptom this time around is the chills. Not really shivering, just freezing cold all the time, except of course when I wake up in the middle of the night in sweats. I've got goosebumps just about 3/4 of my waking day, but I figure I will be better by tomorrow.
The worst mental symptom is the rage. I have never really experienced this before, and maybe it's just more of a bad temper that just happens to be brought about by other people pissing me off, but there have been several times when I felt like I could take out Mike Tyson in his prime due to all the rage going through me. I used to get a bad temper and go insane from the insomnia, but this time I've been sleeping alright, so I don't know. I'm staying at a friends house and he has scripts, but I've resisted asking for anything since I told him NYE that the stuff he gave me then was for my last high.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm not exactly planning on fully quitting. I just wanted to get rid of the dependence, and figured I would listen to my addict mind about trying to go back to chipping. My living situation has just changed so I will only manage to chip anyways, unless I want to live on the street, but fuck that.
Mr.Scagnattie
Bluelighter
Yeah I'm glad I was able to put the breaks on and get a fucking clue.. I feel good now, back stabilized on the bupe and moving forward.. But, I'm still craving H pretty hard... I'm just keeping busy with shit. I've already been down this road so many damn times.. I know exactly where it leads and I'm past the point in my addiction where I think I can "control" it. I know I can't control jack shit when it comes to smack and if I keep using, I'm going to just die. So, fuck.
Yeah, shit man. It's rough out there..
I hope you do well too.
RedLeader
Bluelight Crew
The chills are definitely significant when you try and detox in the dead of winter. I'm on day 4 today and I still have them pretty bad, even though a lot of the really bad stuff has started to really fade away. I've been taking anywhere between 5 and 8 showers/baths per day, typically not very long but as hot as I can bare, and this really seems to help. It takes the chills a good 30 minutes to return after I get out, so if I am in there for thirty minutes, I eliminate a fraction of each day right there.
Probation severely limits my options for what I can use to help me sleep through my detoxes, but I've been getting a few hours per night on the good ol' Nyquil. Though I find that the bad nightmares I inevitably get during WD are turned into true horror shows if I've got a lot of DXM in me. I woke up this morning from one of the most fucked up dreams of my life, and really haven't been able to focus on anything today just because I've got this stuck in my mind. My gabapentin connect has gone away, but I'm thinking of trying to get a script of my own.
I have also made a habit of always (well at least over the past year) detoxing with my last dose on a Sunday evening, so that I have the timetable of symptoms down to a T over the coming week. I can remember past detoxes and how things got better Thursday and I felt "normal" by Friday, so there's a lot of comfort in the idea of "hold on until..."
I am about to do something risky. Have to test tomorrow morning, am still a little sick right now. But I'm going to cop tonight because there's unbelievable stuff available and then hold it until tomorrow afternoon. This is a terrible idea, but it's amazing H only available tonight. It will be calling my name all night...shit...I mean I'll be fine, just is going to be a LONG night.![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
managed to do 5 bags and get a blowjob before my friend got called into work. she then gave me another bag + a couple nugs of weed for free before leaving.
now its time to nod, itch horribly (this batch is killing me with the itch. idk whats up), and make a ton of kandi bracelets for a few upcoming raves.The chills are definitely significant when you try and detox in the dead of winter. I'm on day 4 today and I still have them pretty bad, even though a lot of the really bad stuff has started to really fade away. I've been taking anywhere between 5 and 8 showers/baths per day, typically not very long but as hot as I can bare, and this really seems to help. It takes the chills a good 30 minutes to return after I get out, so if I am in there for thirty minutes, I eliminate a fraction of each day right there.
Probation severely limits my options for what I can use to help me sleep through my detoxes, but I've been getting a few hours per night on the good ol' Nyquil. Though I find that the bad nightmares I inevitably get during WD are turned into true horror shows if I've got a lot of DXM in me. I woke up this morning from one of the most fucked up dreams of my life, and really haven't been able to focus on anything today just because I've got this stuck in my mind. My gabapentin connect has gone away, but I'm thinking of trying to get a script of my own.
I have also made a habit of always (well at least over the past year) detoxing with my last dose on a Sunday evening, so that I have the timetable of symptoms down to a T over the coming week. I can remember past detoxes and how things got better Thursday and I felt "normal" by Friday, so there's a lot of comfort in the idea of "hold on until..."
I am about to do something risky. Have to test tomorrow morning, am still a little sick right now. But I'm going to cop tonight because there's unbelievable stuff available and then hold it until tomorrow afternoon. This is a terrible idea, but it's amazing H only available tonight. It will be calling my name all night...shit...I mean I'll be fine, just is going to be a LONG night.
When I had to give weekly piss samples I would always pick up dope the night before the test so I could get high right after it. This way I had enough time to clean out my system again. Plus, even while just using on the weekends I would still get bad withdrawals by the Thursday since my body was so used to getting its fix the next day. I quit messing around like that after I failed a test though, and I also hated drinking all that water when my stomach was already a wreck, so I went the sub route for the remained of probation. That was years ago though.
What's in Nyquil? I got some nighttime cough medicine that was just DXM and doxylamine succinate, and that knocked me out the first two "day 1's of quitting." I might be getting high tomorrow too. I have a paycheck I should be getting, and then I'll try my dealer and see if he's back from vacation. This is money I really need to save, but this has been the longest I've gone without opiates in a while, but you know how that itch goes.
RedLeader
Bluelight Crew
Ya, I do bi-weekly screens, so I'll use for 10 days and then detox for 4 (well really like 9.5 and 4.5). It ain't fun having to put up with minor WDs every other week for a few days, but you know how addictive this stuff is. I get screened for Suboxone, so unfortunately I cannot use that to detox. And I cannot very well get a script now because that would indicate to my PO that I started using again recently.
Really it's almost all mental with WD at this level. I get that empty/hollow/despair feeling real strong the first three days off and then end up eating myself out of house and home that fourth day. When the physical side of WD is severe enough, it's like I don't have the time to just sit around and feel the depression, but when the WD is minor I do. I never really appreciated how bad the depression side of WD can get until I started doing these regular light WDs. Man, I'd rather my girlfriend cheat on me with my best friend, heck make me watch them fuck even, then have to put up with even an hour of "the despair." Fuck the despair, worst feeling a person can know.
Those two plus acetaminophen. Though I would suggest just buying doxylamine succinate pills and using those (but for some reason the syrups work better on me). I think a lot of it with the OTC sleeping aids is that they work through placebo. I feel calmer once I know that I've taken them, and with this state-of-mind, I can actually fall asleep. In some type of blind study, I doubt I would get any more sleep with the Nyquil. I know that we cannot talk about drug testing, but just be careful using products like NyQuil the night before a test.
Anyway, copped tonight and man oh man I cannot wait until tomorrow afternoon. I was splitting two grams between two people, and as I poured the H from the one bag to the other, the entire car began to reek of heroin. I mean it was like the H version of having a lot of weed in your car. I had never been around H that smelled this strong before, and I was told that it was really potent. Same type as I typically get (the "gunpowder" tar/powder hybrid), only way on the powder end of that spectrum, which typically means it's stonger. But ya, got home and put it away and won't even let myself in the same room until tomorrow. I don't know how anyone could do the "pre-test copping" on a regular basis without going insane. 17 hours.Last edited:smokemctoke420
Bluelighter
^ if i knew i had opiates in the other room i would not be able to resist, unless i already copped a good high in the evening.
id be up all night just thinking about it lol but ive got a junky personality
RedLeader
Bluelight Crew
Ya, I've had former dealers who have been forced into situations where they had to hold/sell while they were dopesick for a point of time before they could financially get high, and I couldn't even imagine the will-power that this would take. I remember one time I bought a bag from a dude who was shaking real hard in his truck and had to wait at least a few more hours and through a few more deals before he could personally use. I ended up feeling bad for him and gave him a small line, but from that point on he'd always try and get a line off of me after making a sale. Haha, it can get complicated real fast when your dealer uses.
But ya, I know the consequences if I used that tonight and they are SEVERE. So I am resolute toward not doing it, but what it does do is give me something of a "phantom dopesickness." I was feeling fine earlier today, but ever since I brought that home I have felt horrible. Aches, nausea, restless, etc.^ Maybe you should ask about the suboxone. I was actually clean when I got on it, and I told them it was because I was losing my mind due to cravings, so the doctor prescribed me it to get me through them while I adjusted back to the real world.
I was always able to resist when I had a piss test coming up. Some may say that it made me less of an addict being able to not use while having it on me, but I say it made me just as much of an addict as the next guy, it's just that I was ensuring future highs by not getting locked up for a failed drug test.
RedLeader
Bluelight Crew
^ To be honest, I'm 6 weeks from being completely off paper. And at this point I'm just trying to cruise to the finish line. No need to complicate anything right now (er, well aside from the usual H...
). I will say that gabapentin actually works the best on my mental cravings for H (and it also killed my cravings for alcohol back in my drinking days). It works much better than Suboxone does (which, for me, is essentially nothing). I'm kinda ticked that my friend with the gabapentin script decided to stop selling them, as I honestly cannot get enough of that. I used to have a script for it, and I'm now toying with the idea of asking a doctor to write me a new one. Just don't know if I want to dedicate quite that much money toward gabapentin, as I have no insurance right now, nor do I even have a primary care physician where I'm currently living.
I really want to try pregamblin/Lyrica for comparison. Never came across it yet. Has anyone tried both? If so, how would you describe Lyrica with the gabapentin high as a starting point?
...And I was awake for all 17 of them. But this story has a happy ending, as I've taken care of everything important that I had to, have found my way back home and am now going to cut up some lines. Will probably mix with a bit of water so that the H doesn't destroy my nose, or perhaps I'll do some plugging instead. It's Friday night, why not?!?
Also picked up 8mg Suboxone. My plan is to go through this gram of H at my own pace and then use some of the Suboxone 24 hours after my last dose. I took 5 days off, so my tolerance probably went down just a bit, but using tonight will put me back at square one for WDs. So I'm gunna H today, Sub tomorrow, nothing Sunday and then pehaps grab some more boy Monday night and repeat the cycle twice or thrice more before my next drug test.
Happy and safe nodding everyone!Last edited:
XThexXTank
Bluelighter
Sick as shit this mornin haha but I got in touch with my guy who reupped yesterday n got ma dope. Hell yeah feelin good
I was going to give in and cop today but my dude is still on vacation. I don't know if I'm still going to be in the area when he gets back, nor do I know if I can afford to cop around then. I've got some scripts I need to pick up as well as food and transportation which my money needs to go towards.
BlueHues
Bluelighter
^How many days has it been?Well i gave in and threw 2 of my abg's down and spiked the vein.
Holy shit it's been a long time since I have had morphine. 5 seconds after I pulled the rig out I was getting mad thinking I somehow did something wrong. 10 seconds in every muscle in my body was on fire and locked up, and pins and needles from my asshole to my head. Oh shit.
That was only 60 mgs, and damn I'm glad my tolerance was down because that was amazing.
It reminded me a lot of a dilaudid shot. Sorry for so many details people just high and rambling
Mr.Scagnattie
Bluelighter
Got the classic asshole tingler, huh? Niceee.
Last day I used any opiates was NYE, but that was just a small dose of morphine and oxy that didn't touch me. Last time I actually got high was 8 days ago.
chefman
Bluelighter
Good for you tommy,im trying to stop myself,so tired of being out of money all the time and waiting for dealers to come through,its bullshit,hate it.McHigh_HMG
Bluelighter
How many 8 mg dilaudids will I need if I have roughly a half a bundle every other day habit?
Im most likely going to shoot them.Last edited:- Status
