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13 Year Old Son smoking pot - Mum Seeks Members Advice

my bet is that 2calex is 13 years old and smokes pot lol.

the mother has every right to be concerned, even if pot is harmless to an adult, it still poses legal and possible emotional developmental problems when used chronically at a young age, and that's for all we know, it could be worse or could be better, i don't think there's enough evidence right now to show either way.

Most kids smoke cannabis for the wrong reasons, it's either to fit in or be cool or make friends. If you're going to smoke cannabis, do it because you love the plant and the experiences. I didn't find too many young kids (when growing up) who smoked for that reason.

My uncle started growing cannabis at age 12 lol he had a true love for the plant and is the best grower i've ever known. Sure he never made it in life academically or by society's conventions but he made enough money to live and never tried to make more than that. After 40 years of that, he's uneducated, a huge stoner but grows the best cannabis i've ever smoked and can grow pretty much anything else as well. And whenever i see him he hands me huge handfuls of fine buds; when i was a kid he used to just give my sister and i $50 bills every time we saw him. Maybe it's not the path most people want their kids to take but life can still work out if you are one of these people.
 
Wtf? My parents authority.
I didn't have any of that. I did what I wanted and if they didn't like it I left. I was self sufficient and didn't listen to their shit.
 
dopemaster said:
Marijuana is relativly harmless. The main problem with it in my experience is that it puts the user in the position to have acess to other drugs which are definetly harmful. That being said it looks like you got a little toker on your hands. I would definetly speak to him about the dangers of worse drugs as it can lead to that. Also you should definetly discuss moderation if he persists in using. It would be ideal if he was to limit his use as I doubt you can persuade him to quite altogether. Be careful that he does not slip into other drugs and keep an eye on him. That being said I would consider alcohol to be far worse a substance on the mind and body.

I thought about your post and decided to add more. Drugs have really fucked up my life. Not because of pot. My first 3 years of high school I got good grades and was playing sports and snowboarding alot. Senior year I started taking X, doing coke, and popping pills. This behavior continued and I ended up in detox 3 times for alcoholism. After that I got my shit together. I eventually had a serious injury and ended up on chronic pain maintainance and since then things have gone downhill for me once again. I have become an IV drug user, which is something I never though would happen to me. Im only sharing this cuz your story kind of got to me as I started using narcotics at a young age. The older man that introduced your child to drugs had no business introducing it. It would be a different story if kid was already a user as he would just be company. But thats unimportant. Whats important is to keep things in perspective. Marijuana is not really addictive, but people do get habituated to it. Drugs on the other hand can put you through absolute hell in terms of withdrawal and the desire for more. Moderation is essential to any type of drug use including marijuana and alcohol. You will find yourself much better off in life if you limit drug and alcohol use to minimal amounts at special times.
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Sounds exactly like me. Except it was freshman year I got my injury, and I also lost all my social skills and wittiness from the 24/7 dull pain and anxiety, because the pain and then the heavy weed abuse must of triggered something.


The main thing I have to say is moderation. Don't overdue it. If you have a predisposed illness (Depression, Anxiety, Ocd) which you might not even know about for years and years, drugs will most likely trigger that if you abuse them. I had a lot of hidden shit in my life, that I kind of just covered up and moved along because of the way I was, and I didn't think about the small stuff and always stayed positive. Pretty sure the amount of weed I was smoking and the amount of time, along with my injury triggered something one night and it brang up all those worries but in a different train of thought.


Weed is definitely safe in moderation, but if it gets out of hand you're going to risk a lot more than you'd ever think.
 
Do a google search for "Cannabis study adolescence." there has been a lot of research on this subject and your son should NOT be smoking Cannabis or anything else at 13. Doing so is a risk factor for things like cognitive inhibition and psychosis. Tell him he should wait until he's at least 18. The good news is that by the time he's 20, the risk will have almost evaporated. ALL drugs are MUCH more dangerous for teens, because their brains are not yet fully developed.
 
2cAlex said:
Wtf? My parents authority.
I didn't have any of that. I did what I wanted and if they didn't like it I left. I was self sufficient and didn't listen to their shit.
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Damn, dude, you emancipated at 13? So what, you hit college by 13 and 3 months or were you house-hopping, breaking into cars and shoplifting from the Food Lion down the street?

End-all-be-all here is that, in this society and (mixing pot of) culture(s), a 13 year old lives under the dictatorship of their parents. Fair? Fuck no, but nothing ever is nor will be, and learning that lesson at 13 years of age from your biological parent(s) can be an invaluable lesson, though I'd honestly think most would've learned it much longer beforehand.
 
2cAlex said:
Leave him alone about it, no one wants there parents talking to them about smoking, just don't even point it out and let him fucking do it, because it's none of your business
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That's bollocks. A child is something you have created. You are both responsible and bonded to the child if you are worth a damn shit. IMO that's the worst advice on this thread. So what if he doesn't want to hear it. He needs to. If children are never told whats up and allowed to do whatever they wouldn't even be potty trained. Responsiblities as a parent don't end if your a decent person.

It sounds like you either got shitty parents or your a bit of a lil rebel. Either way Id bet my left nut your rather young and think you've been dealt a shitty hand.

Well lifes a bitch and the truth hurts. Sometimes kids need to know the honest truth about things. MJ in itself aint nothing and everyone knows it. The issue is that it puts the kid in contact with real criminals who have real drugs. Also if his parents neglect the issue or give him too much cause to rebel he could end up a jaded lil shit who thinks he knows everything and can take care of himself. That's when he gets by for a bit and eventually drops the ball and gets incarcerated or if hes a snippy fucker he will get his ass whooped.

It would be a lot be a lot better if he had to have a talk that he didn't want to have or a few belt whoopings at home than to get beaten mercilessly in the ghetto copping hard drugs, end up in prison, an addict, or a total fucking loser who works menial jobs just for a bit of early freedom. Shit I wish my parents gave half a fuck about me as the OP does about her son.

I had a psychotic abusive father and a passive mother with her head in the sand and well I ended up running away right before I turned 17. I had a job and I had all the little spots around the city I could sleep and I bathed in lakes and people let me stay in their houses to clean myself up. I thought I had it all figured out. My boss didn't know I was homeless. I was selling dope too.

Before I left home I was a straight A student looking at a full ride to an Ivy league college. Well I squandered that for my independence. Eventually I smartened up and asked my grandparents if I could live with them so I could finish high school and I went to college and I am working on my 3rd college degree having already completed two. I didn't get to a university and had to attend community college and work. But now I go to a good school and when I graduate I will make 80k a year.

If I stayed living on the street who the fuck knows what would have become of me. So yeah a little parenting can go a long fucking way.
 
I've only read the original post.

This is messed up.

I worry about the same thing. Just be honest with him and tell him that for the time being he cannot smoke weed. His brain is still developing and it will affect his brain permanently. Tell him when he is older (say 19ish) he can make his own decisions and you will be perfectly ok with it. Ask him if it is worth destroying his brain for the rest of his life. There are research studies to back this up.

In terms of the adult giving him weed.. that's so wrong as well. Talk to the parent and be like "I am fine with you smoking weed but I would rather you didn't pass it on to my son"
 
What everyone has added before me pretty much takes the words right out of my mouth, however, as someone who started smoking pot at 13, I don't believe he should follow that path. I would by no means say that it lead to any sort of destruction for myself, but I just don't believe this age should be altering their mind just yet.

He's learning and still developing into the person he'll be in this life-time. Does he have any hobbies or interests he's passionate about? It doesn't seem that the current situation is anything above experimentation with friends and I think you as his mother are damn lucky that your teenager felt comfortable enough telling you about his experience. Keep that door open for discussion with him by educating him using arguments from all sides. At this point all you can do is help him to be informed about the decisions he makes. As far as that dad is concerned, you need to address the matter with him. He has absolutely 0 grounds to offer your son pot and you should tell him that you aren't ok with that. Best of luck to you both!
 
I really regret starting smoking when I was 14, my motivation and memory are both royally screwed because of it and I now find concentrating or learning anything extremely difficult. Luckily I am quite gifted with grasping concepts easily and using logic to work things out but those are the only things that got me through school/first year of uni. The generally anxiety disorder type stuff I struggle with is hell too and I'd probably put that down to smoking copious amounts of weed.

Actually remembering non interesting facts is near on impossible as is anything that takes effort, I mean I'm trying to teach myself to program yet keep logging onto here and facebook to avoid doing any real work -.-

Tell him to wait a few years at least, it'll be much more worth it then and I bet he won't have any regrets about the lack of weed he smoked, doesn't really work the other way round!
 
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Look why dont you just cut your son a bit of slack if he wants to smoke weed its his choice and none of your buisseness his friends father who you say gave him the weed sounds like a much better and responsible parent than you.
 
Don't listen to Ganjcat, that is the most stupid advice ever - ofcourse it's the parents business if a 13-year old smoke cannabis? wat teh fack?
You shouldn't smoke cannabis when your 13-years old.

Do you know how much he uses cannabis? Does it affect his social life? How is he doing in school? It's when cannabis is prioritiesed over these things an evil spiral begins.
Studies show cannabis is not harmless for a not fully developed brain.
 
Scientific evidence suggests smoking marijuana during the ages of around 12-16 can make one a schizophrenic when older if they are genetically predisposed.
 
I started at 13 and by 14 I was a daily smoker. I probly lost out on getting a scholarship because of weed. I had a lot of problems at home so its difficult to say as I might have flipped out and bodied my father over the shit he put me through.

But I digress I was waking up and taking bong hits before school and before I even got up to piss or had a wank. I still played sports, had a job, and made good grades but I know I would have done so much more with my life if I hadn't smoked so much pot at an early age.

I was a very heavy smoker and I ended up selling the stuff. I also ended up leaving home and just kinda being a pikey and couch surfing and sleeping on park benches and whatnot. I ended up getting exposed to harder drugs around 14 as well and didn't see the harm. By 16 I done coke, ecstasy, opium, heroin, methamphetamine and was a straight up alcoholic.

Im not sure how I managed and eventually I didn't. I ended up asking my grandparents to take me in and they helped me get into a high school and finish my diploma, as well as go to community college. Looking back I wish I had joined the marines out of high school and should have just had my parents sign off at 17 as recruiters were up my ass trying to recruit me due to my high scores on their tests.
 
Ganjcat said:
Look why dont you just cut your son a bit of slack if he wants to smoke weed its his choice and none of your buisseness his friends father who you say gave him the weed sounds like a much better and responsible parent than you.
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lol

and in my opinion, if he isn't even smart enough to keep his use secret from his mother, he sure won't be smart enough to use weed responsible. kids like that think they know it all and are 100% positive that smoking weed is harmless so they cannot even consider the possibility that other people may think otherwise...
 
I know this is an old thread but feel I have to share my experience. I am definitely not opposed to cannabis, I smoke it every day. However, I would advise against teens smoking it especially younger ones. It has been discovered that the younger a person starts using, the more susceptible to addiction and mental illness that person will be, since the pre-frontal cortex where impulses are controlled is still maturing. I can also speak from experience, I first used cannabis when I was 13 and immediately started smoking everyday. I soon grew curious about other drugs and tried all of them when I was a little older(15-16). Now I am almost 22 and I just made it out of a year long love/hate affair with heroin and have about a month clean from it whilst using buprenorephine. I still am smoking cannabis daily, and can most definitely say I am addicted to it and have been since I was young. I wish I had waited until I was older to try any drugs, I think if I would've allowed my brain 5 or so more years to develop I wouldn't have all the problems I do today. I can also tell that my brain has been damaged by using so often at a young age, I sometimes have delusions that are hard to distinguish from reality.

Also about a parent giving drugs to a child, I think that is extremely irresponsible. Even though the decision was ultimately your son's, young teens naturally want to impress adults and have impressionable minds. So when the kids dad offered him some smoke, he would've looked uncool to turn it down. I think it is awesome that your son was honest with you about it, that is really the most important thing in preventing future problems for your son, to communicate with your son and make sure he feels comfortable telling you anything. If he feels judged or fears punishment, he is unlikely to tell you what he is doing, forcing him to sneak around and lie. I grew up hiding everything from my parents because if they knew what I was doing I would be both judged and punished.

I don't want anyone to interpret my post the wrong way, I certainly don't think cannabis is bad at all. I just think it is dangerous to the developing brain when any types of chemicals are introduced. Many adults I know use cannabis regularly and don't have any problems with it. Nearly everyone I know who does have problems because of it or other drugs all started using at a young age. I don't think the correlation is a coincidence...
 
Well I might just share mine as well..

I only started to do pot at an age of 18. Shortly thereafter I decided it won't hurt and, after a solid amount of research, tried some psychedelic legal highs (salvia, hawaiian woodrose) and started falling in love with psychedelics quickly. At an age of 19 I already tried LSD and started experimenting with other synthetic psychedelics. So marijuana was- for me- definitely a "gateway drug", as propaganda pamphlets like to call it.

I'd say I developed quite a drug habit over these years (I'm 25 now), but the only particular substances I experienced specific habituation to are dextromethorphan (since I discovered it, I had a few years of a strong habituation period where I would use it compulsively up to few times a week... even now, after over a year of DXM sobriety and trying it a few times again, am still feeling bit addicted anew) and... pot.

The trap with pot is that it gives one so much in terms of relation with oneself and others while being viewed as something relatively harmless, that it's really easy to forgive oneself using it even on a daily basis. Basically, when you can do anything you'd do while sober, and in many cases (as it is with me) it doesn't even develop a real strong addiction, why not smoke it? And it's easy to find people that will think the same, and that is just material for another excuse ("we're doing it together and nobody gets hurt, so why not do more?... it's just our means of spending time together"). That's how it went for me and for the late half of 2012 I ended up a heavy stoner, mostly doing it with a friend, we'd meet for a couple of hours in our free time and do 3-6 joints on such occasions, which happened about 5 times a week. I imagine if somebody starts smoking bhang at an age of 13, they will stumble upon such problem much, much quicker than myself.

I felt the pot habit sorta hanging upon me for all the years since I started doing this drug (it's just so appealing), but I didn't like the idea of having such episode so I used to apply heavy moderation to my use of this drug during first 5-6 years of smoking. Then my motivation broke and I became a serious pothead for a while. In my case it got tedious quickly, so I just stopped doing it... which was no problem at all as I still have much respect for this plant. For the last half year I've been smoking maybe up to 2 times per week which feels fine, and I never have cravings or do it compulsively which was the case in late 2012.

So, my conclusion is, it's best not to touch any psychoactive substances except maybe caffeine until an age of 18-19. The later, the better, actually, but 18 is a nice compromise between common sense and the urge to do crazy things most youth feels. Of course it's hard to keep a curious kid from drinking alcohol with his buddies once he's 15 and everybody's doing it. Well, nobody was able to keep me, and now alcohol is a substance I could easily get addicted to. Thus, the later you start doing psychoactives, the better general idea of sobriety your brain has, which gains you both some mental stability and resistance to habituation. In my case, I would probably be better off if I delayed taking stronger psychedelics to the age of say 21-22, so I could probably control their (ab)use better. But, Rose Petal, if you're still reading this thread- you can't reverse time and that's IME a thought your son should get familiar with.
 
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deidara said:
I know this is an old thread but feel I have to share my experience. I am definitely not opposed to cannabis, I smoke it every day. However, I would advise against teens smoking it especially younger ones. It has been discovered that the younger a person starts using, the more susceptible to addiction and mental illness that person will be, since the pre-frontal cortex where impulses are controlled is still maturing. I can also speak from experience, I first used cannabis when I was 13 and immediately started smoking everyday. I soon grew curious about other drugs and tried all of them when I was a little older(15-16). Now I am almost 22 and I just made it out of a year long love/hate affair with heroin and have about a month clean from it whilst using buprenorephine. I still am smoking cannabis daily, and can most definitely say I am addicted to it and have been since I was young. I wish I had waited until I was older to try any drugs, I think if I would've allowed my brain 5 or so more years to develop I wouldn't have all the problems I do today. I can also tell that my brain has been damaged by using so often at a young age, I sometimes have delusions that are hard to distinguish from reality.
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I could not agree more deidara. I too started at 13 & have been a heavy cannabis user for 20+ years. There is no doubt that it did something to my development during adolescence as with a number of my friends. Whilst I don't suffer delusions I really wish I had waited until I was 18+ to start using drugs. Life would have been very different for me but considering I left school at 15 & entered recovery at 29 I have a good career these days.



deidara said:
Also about a parent giving drugs to a child, I think that is extremely irresponsible. Even though the decision was ultimately your son's, young teens naturally want to impress adults and have impressionable minds. So when the kids dad offered him some smoke, he would've looked uncool to turn it down. I think it is awesome that your son was honest with you about it, that is really the most important thing in preventing future problems for your son, to communicate with your son and make sure he feels comfortable telling you anything. If he feels judged or fears punishment, he is unlikely to tell you what he is doing, forcing him to sneak around and lie. I grew up hiding everything from my parents because if they knew what I was doing I would be both judged and punished.
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I remember my friends mum being "cool" because we used to smoke weed at hers during lunch & she did not care. Now I view it as one of the most irresponsible parenting memories as she also ran a daycare centre from her house with 10-15 kids! My parents were the final generation before the drug revolution happened. I never hid anything from them but my relationship with my family was honest if at times hostile. I would not have had it any other way as my parents at least tried to steer me away from drugs but accept my life is my own.


deidara said:
I don't want anyone to interpret my post the wrong way, I certainly don't think cannabis is bad at all. I just think it is dangerous to the developing brain when any types of chemicals are introduced. Many adults I know use cannabis regularly and don't have any problems with it. Nearly everyone I know who does have problems because of it or other drugs all started using at a young age. I don't think the correlation is a coincidence...
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Bingo. I will second that 100%
 
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