Vajeeh, thanks for the tips for the subutex use. I normaly let it dissolve under my tongue and keep swallowing the saliva.
I am beeing very weak, even in the day i wrote this thread, it was nothing i couldn't handle.
Today i made the wrong choice, once again. I will give myself one more chance, if i fail i will have to come clean with mjy friends/family and ask for help, i will make some people suffer and probably loose my closest female friend, and the woman i love, for i am lying to her for 5 months... she thinks i got myself clean at that time. My family will suffer a lot as my friends will to. But i cannot do this for myself, need professional help.... just one more try (tomorrow)....
I am beeing very weak, even in the day i wrote this thread, it was nothing i couldn't handle.
Today i made the wrong choice, once again. I will give myself one more chance, if i fail i will have to come clean with mjy friends/family and ask for help, i will make some people suffer and probably loose my closest female friend, and the woman i love, for i am lying to her for 5 months... she thinks i got myself clean at that time. My family will suffer a lot as my friends will to. But i cannot do this for myself, need professional help.... just one more try (tomorrow)....