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10+ years off MDMA - Binged on a gram - Feel suicidal - PLEASE help

Sounds a bit like what happened to me, and believe me it will pass. I was getting manic mood swings where I would be dysphoric, depressed and crying from a comedown then out of nowhere I would literally be almost rolling mildly for 30 minutes... they leveled off and now things are back to normal. Il write up the whoel story and post it just out of general interest and fo rthe lack of MDMA horror stories on teh internet people need to be made aware of what its ABUSE can cause.

But, just remember one thing it will get better, yes, it will trust me, whether its a few days for a few weeks, hopefully the first! it will get better and you will feel normal. In the mean time, eat healthy and exercise and do activities that you enjoy, see friends and people just try not tleave yourself ina state where you are thinkign to much adn ebfore you know it you will feel back to normal. SOrry for any typos in a rush!
 
Whether this helps or not I dont know. Its all about feeling on top, no bullshit. Look in the mirror and say 'hang about cunt, this isn't me, I had a drug and it's fucking winning, why the fuck is some chemical that some cunt created somewhere I don't even fucking know beating me? Hang the fuck about, I'm not depressed, I'm just hungover. Fuck em. Fuck em'.

I always question myself, it sounds silly but I do. About anything - relationships and deaths. Just look at myself and say fuck it. It's all bullshit. Go out and walk in the park, have a beer and a steak and imagine your normal self looking at your current depressed self and think 'what a silly cunt that is'. Disconnect yourself from the emotion and observe it from a third person POV, once you do that the emotion no longer exists. Nothing matters mate, I've learned to not give a fuck about anything.
 
Hey Fentanyl_Eater, you mentioned that you're currently on Suboxone. Does anyone know whether it is possible that being on suboxone maintenance has a role in the prolonged comedown? Its probably just because of a huge dose and low tolerance, but I'm just speculating.
 
Fentanyl_Eater said:
The last time I did ecstasy was in 2000. I recently obtained 2 grams of reagent tested pure MDMA.

On Friday night, my girlfriend and I did 1.6 grams between us, then finished the remaining .4 on Sunday (it's Tuesday morning now).

I have been experiencing some of the most intense, suicidal depression I have ever felt. I am a former heroin addict, on suboxone. I have been mostly clean off opiates for the past few years and life has been very good overall. I feel as though I may have permanently fucked my seratonin levels up. Yesterday I went into work and felt like a complete zombie. I was literally crying while in a meeting with executives, and tried to play it off as if I had a bad cold. This morning I woke up and feel absolutely horrible still. I was really hoping I wouldn't feel this shitty for days in a row. I would almost rather be in withdrawal than this, because tere is very little physical symptoms (some nausea), but the depression is almost overwhelming. It has been so many years since I have used MDMA that this feels so foreign. Could I have done any permanent damage? I read reports that it can take a month for normal seratonin levels to return. I can barely stand another day of this, let alone a month!

I have everything going for me and I worked extremely hard these past few years to get here. Now I feel as though I literally want to curl into a ball and die. I really don't know how much longer I can deal with this, and it hasn;t even been 48 hours. Is there a timetable for MDMA withdrawal/comedown? After opiate withdrawal, I'd normally feel worse on the 2-3rd day, then generally better by the 5-6th day. Can someone explain when this will hopefully end?

I feel so alone and desperate right now. Thank you for any assistance. :(
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Ask your girlfriend for a blow job
 
It's called a comedown mate. You'll be fine in a few days.

Bill said:
How do you do over a gram of pure mdma in one night with zero tolerance and after a 10 year break
Sorry man but you were asking for it by doing that much, you way over did it

Literally .2 of good molly will have me feeling great all night with no ill effects days later
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Depends how long your "night" is. 0.2 will have you feeling good for a few hours, say 8 maximum. What if your night out lasts for 48? Pretty common round here to start drinking/taking drugs on Friday night & stop on Sunday afternoon. I believe it's called "The Weekend".
 
Fentanyl_Eater said:
The last time I did ecstasy was in 2000. I recently obtained 2 grams of reagent tested pure MDMA.

On Friday night, my girlfriend and I did 1.6 grams between us, then finished the remaining .4 on Sunday (it's Tuesday morning now).

I have been experiencing some of the most intense, suicidal depression I have ever felt. I am a former heroin addict, on suboxone. I have been mostly clean off opiates for the past few years and life has been very good overall. I feel as though I may have permanently fucked my seratonin levels up. Yesterday I went into work and felt like a complete zombie. I was literally crying while in a meeting with executives, and tried to play it off as if I had a bad cold. This morning I woke up and feel absolutely horrible still. I was really hoping I wouldn't feel this shitty for days in a row. I would almost rather be in withdrawal than this, because tere is very little physical symptoms (some nausea), but the depression is almost overwhelming. It has been so many years since I have used MDMA that this feels so foreign. Could I have done any permanent damage? I read reports that it can take a month for normal seratonin levels to return. I can barely stand another day of this, let alone a month!

I have everything going for me and I worked extremely hard these past few years to get here. Now I feel as though I literally want to curl into a ball and die. I really don't know how much longer I can deal with this, and it hasn;t even been 48 hours. Is there a timetable for MDMA withdrawal/comedown? After opiate withdrawal, I'd normally feel worse on the 2-3rd day, then generally better by the 5-6th day. Can someone explain when this will hopefully end?

I feel so alone and desperate right now. Thank you for any assistance. :(
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Solution:- Sleep, eat then sleep some more. Take benzos to assist if needed. BLowjobs also do help. Thats a fact. Get some light exercise.

And most importantly........get a grip. Its a comedown. If you get high, you'll get a low. A few more days and you'll be feeling better, another week and you'll be sorted.


Over analysing how bad your feeling and posting about it ob bluelight only makes it worse.

edit:- I find "curling up into a ball" does actually help......especially under a duvet. Just leave out dying. Thats not a good look.
 
When u feel suicidal just keep saying
Huuuuuuu
Huuuuuu
Huuuu
Hu Hu Hu Hu Hu Hu ..... X 33 will really help in getting u back in touch with ur self
 
hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu hu

like that? i still feel like shit? and now my carpel tunnel is acting up
 
hey man, how are you doing now? i went through a fucking nightmare comedown when i took just under 400mgs of 6apb. just like everyone is saying, exercise, good diet, and yoga helped me tremendously. youll get through this, keep your head up!
 
Come on ladies
Come on ladies
Come buy my fish
6 pound five pound one pound fish
 
God....

A year to the very day I made this post and I woke up at 5 in the morning and just had to search it out after not reading or thinking about this for a year? This is one of the craziest things I have ever experienced!
 
Fentanyl_Eater said:
God....

A year to the very day I made this post and I woke up at 5 in the morning and just had to search it out after not reading or thinking about this for a year? This is one of the craziest things I have ever experienced!
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How are you now? Is everything fine?

If so , can you make a new thread sharing your experience and recovery to give hope to others who have gone down the same path that they will recover?
 
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