im starting to feel content again. this makes me scared as hell. everytime shit seems to level out and i get comfortable into another trough i go. o well i guess its not bad ive spent so long trying to get to nothing. by that i mean i live out of fear of losing, so i make sure i dont have that far to fall bfore rock bottom. hell couldnt complain if i wanted to. problems seem so dramatic when they arent mine, wen they are its just like a dream passing me by. im becoming an isolationist as much as it is uncomfortable to be alone for so long it gets alot worse when people are around. so much so i can barely make conversation with the gas station clerk. people call me on the phone to bitch about me not talking to anybody, but i just wish everybody forgot i was here. people confuse and disturb me. why?
