I was doing good.. very good indeed.. and i was very proud of myself and happy about how things were goin.. ive been clean of IV heroin as of february of this year.. i was back in school and was going to get my highschool diploma this year.. i wouldve been finished ! finally! ive got a great paying union job.. though at the moment they have no use for me so im waiting for the call for me to come back in.. which is fine.. i needed a break from work anyway..
then yesterday after getting home from my 7th 10.5 hour day of classes.. i was greeted by 2 messages on my machine that single handedly ruined more than just my day..
i had registered for classes when i was 19.. but because i was 20 on my first day of classes.. the message on the machine stated that i had to pay 1300 instead of the original 300 for tuition.. im 9 grand in debt because i just got audited.. i couldnt afford it so i had to withdraw from all my classes.. they also wouldnt refund the 300 fucking dollars.. so just like that im out of school again.. and pissed..
the second message was a notification that the serj tankian concert this weekend that i had been anticipating for 2 months and had 4th row tickets for was fucking cancelled..
so i relapsed..
and now i have enough heroin at my disposal to kill a horse.. enough horse to kill a horse.. heh.. no but seriously.. im genuinely scared that im gonna either OD or end up losing my job because of this or both.. im scared that i wont have any control over it and my life is gonna spiral out of control again because of the heroin..
What the fuck can i do ?? should i do??
then yesterday after getting home from my 7th 10.5 hour day of classes.. i was greeted by 2 messages on my machine that single handedly ruined more than just my day..
i had registered for classes when i was 19.. but because i was 20 on my first day of classes.. the message on the machine stated that i had to pay 1300 instead of the original 300 for tuition.. im 9 grand in debt because i just got audited.. i couldnt afford it so i had to withdraw from all my classes.. they also wouldnt refund the 300 fucking dollars.. so just like that im out of school again.. and pissed..
the second message was a notification that the serj tankian concert this weekend that i had been anticipating for 2 months and had 4th row tickets for was fucking cancelled..
so i relapsed..
and now i have enough heroin at my disposal to kill a horse.. enough horse to kill a horse.. heh.. no but seriously.. im genuinely scared that im gonna either OD or end up losing my job because of this or both.. im scared that i wont have any control over it and my life is gonna spiral out of control again because of the heroin..
What the fuck can i do ?? should i do??