*** copied from BL journal ***
Got some things done for my move to Philly today (actually yesterday).
jammed a 16th which, once again, provided no pleasure. Afterwards I just drank some vodka and snorted 2mg of ativan.
I've had some bad thoughts recently... I want to try iv heroin. Knowing how i am, I would fall in love with it and seek it and use it until i have lost everything.
Coke doesn't give me pleasure anymore and I find alcohol and pills to be sub-par methods to get me away from myself. I have absolutely no tolerance to opiates so this brain of mine figures I could get WAY high for a low cost and minimal product.
To tell the truth, i think of heroin often now. I snorted it 22 years ago but that was more of a pseudo drunk feeling without the heavy head.
I considered shooting meth but availability is scarce and the thought of iv'ing something that is 100% synthetic goes against what is left of my comfort level.
This journal was meant for me to reflect on after I got clean. Fuck, I'm going on a quest tomorrow
Got some things done for my move to Philly today (actually yesterday).
jammed a 16th which, once again, provided no pleasure. Afterwards I just drank some vodka and snorted 2mg of ativan.
I've had some bad thoughts recently... I want to try iv heroin. Knowing how i am, I would fall in love with it and seek it and use it until i have lost everything.
Coke doesn't give me pleasure anymore and I find alcohol and pills to be sub-par methods to get me away from myself. I have absolutely no tolerance to opiates so this brain of mine figures I could get WAY high for a low cost and minimal product.
To tell the truth, i think of heroin often now. I snorted it 22 years ago but that was more of a pseudo drunk feeling without the heavy head.
I considered shooting meth but availability is scarce and the thought of iv'ing something that is 100% synthetic goes against what is left of my comfort level.
This journal was meant for me to reflect on after I got clean. Fuck, I'm going on a quest tomorrow