💀 The Abyss 💀 (Open 24hrs)

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The saddest thing of all in a way is Dad is retired calculus professor and has written textbooks on probability and statistics.

yet even I, with my pretty average IQ and total maths amnesia, can see the futility.

He's always loved gambling. Today I said fuck lotto, get a laptop and play online bridge. Least it's not just brute luck. Or (re Dad's "system") a delusion probably supported by his refusal to wear reading glasses (he didn't even know which number was meant to be "power ball" or what numbers he was betting on until me bro started helping him fill out the bastards...
<3

you seem like a sweetie

welcome 2 the abyssssssssss

i am so drunk but need more booze and more caloric intake

i'm listening to black metal and need to get more
 
hey sounds vile ... sorry you are having crappy time with bestial snoring partner...I hope not truly suicidal! It's so hard to tell ...my Mum committed suicide 7 years ago .. frequently told me she wanted to die and even said she'd been practicing hanging herself. I didn't buy it. And what's worse I frequently told her to shut up/get fucked/ say shit like "as if you'd ever kill yourself ...might entail having to leave me something in your will".

I'm disgusted with myself. And increasingly worry, as did Mum sometimes, about how my evil and selfishness will look to God, if I ever meet up with him/her.
Mostly I'd like to see my Mum when I snuff it. I try to convince myself this may be possible ...anyway upshot: suicide is a sure fire way of destroying other people - it's not a "victimless" act. But am sure you know this.

Hope your friend pipes down and you sleep well, and thanks for reminding me about Atlas Shrugged. Which I am oddly keen to read when I get off this train.
QUOTE="Captain.Heroin, post: 14812294, member: 117635"]
it's almost 2 in the morning and I can't sleep

he's like SNOREEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I can't seem to enjoy alcohol the same way

and no hypnotic benzos

and the suicidal thoughts are still in my head but i have good shatter and strong pot so imma smoke that shittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

INHALEs
[/QUOTE]
 
I love him though and he knows it.

He has my heart. I have his. It's this sick myth/fiction I'm living out I don't even wanna be in my body.

Life is just endless suffering and I WANT MY DRUGS DAMN ITttttttttttttt *bangs head on wall*

IF I HAD THE RIGHT DRUGS I WOULD BE OK WITH THE WAY THINGS ARE

instead of drinking beers

at 0330 on a saturday night

A SATURDAY NIGHT

i was partying so hard this year I WAS HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE, MAN........ and this lockdown shit is like worse than THE DISEASE MANnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
 
hey sounds vile ...
oh please stick around, your story was very saddening

it'll be ok <3

i'm sure there's a lot of hurt on all sides, you don't have to let the grief consume you

i used to tell my ex he'd die of alcoholism and i was right

and i really hate how i would tell him that but i was right.... :( sighhh

thanks for sharing though i feel closer to people even though we are miles apart and shit.........


<--- NEED [[{hypnotic}]]BENZOS NOwww

877 PILLS NOW call NOWWWWWwww
 
here comes the sun....
IDTfUub.jpg

 
Shit. You have ... well you have my interest!
My fuckwitted ex -who
btw has broken both my arm and my leg plus half throttled to
me to death several times ... is playing Saturday Sadist with me.
Or maybe just doesn't give a shit.
My brother is running up debts with drug dealer and saying "it's for my sister".
I know I'll feel like dying tomorrow but right now I don't give a shit.
There must be better people around.
There must be better shit to do.
Fuck, though ...hurts...
I love him though and he knows it.

He has my heart. I have his. It's this sick myth/fiction I'm living out I don't even wanna be in my body.

Life is just endless suffering and I WANT MY DRUGS DAMN ITttttttttttttt *bangs head on wall*

IF I HAD THE RIGHT DRUGS I WOULD BE OK WITH THE WAY THINGS ARE

instead of drinking beers

at 0330 on a saturday night

A SATURDAY NIGHT

i was partying so hard this year I WAS HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE, MAN........ and this lockdown shit is like worse than THE DISEASE MANnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
 
Serious faith and belief in the human spirit is the ultimate intolerable heresy.
I wonder what kind of demon I'll be in Hell. I think I'll get a good performance review from my time here, so hopefully one of like the lower circles ya know? Heresy sounds fun.

Might have to bump up my numbers a little bit with the time in simulation hell I still have rn.
 
Sheeit. wish you lived in my building, I'd give you some oxazepam ...you don't do you? No. You don't. it's not even half right at night here...
oh please stick around, your story was very saddening

it'll be ok <3

i'm sure there's a lot of hurt on all sides, you don't have to let the grief consume you

i used to tell my ex he'd die of alcoholism and i was right

and i really hate how i would tell him that but i was right.... :( sighhh

thanks for sharing though i feel closer to people even though we are miles apart and shit.........


<--- NEED [[{hypnotic}]]BENZOS NOwww

877 PILLS NOW call NOWWWWWwww
 
POS - Pissy Old Sissy???

Anyway it was different substance. If it hadn't been a different drug, why did everyone start speaking in reverent tones about how shit hot "ice" was? Before making total cunts of themselves for years on end, quite often.
Like "maaaattee! Finally getting my shit together eh?" (as they plunge needle in) "Anyway am seeing me kids and got a job interview coming' up, and shit, I've got a law degree and a medical degree - sort of - so next time ya need a friend in court .... Aw mate, see, I teach the lawyers. That's cos I'm employed by Relapse House, where I fuckin met Cheryl and shit ... Yeh, I'm gunna be a dad. S'all good. Been a fucking saga but mate, time to put away childish things, ya know? AHH SHIT sorry mate BUM RUSH eh ... Just gotta do a shit ..." (moans) "ah fuck just overwhelmed by wave of new fresh new insights...give us yer undiesFuck me mate. Shittin yer pants. Dirty dog, fuck ya..."
(Ambles off leaving used fit on bathroom floor).
Lol the "put away childish things" is such a good biblical line.

I had some court ordered friend who always used that one. "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, darkly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known"
 
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