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910 deaths from coronavirus
I'LL DRINK TO THAT!
<3
love my FREEWORLDBRAHS
I just want to pound his ass
maybe i'll fucking hit him up after like 2-3 days of sobriety and I'll be like "YAH I'M CLEAN" and then pound that shit out like ground meat
 
MAL talk me out of a bad idea i WANT PEOPLE WHO DON'T JUDGE ME in bed with me right

tell me not to tap that shit again PLEASE

i have a little cohort of like minded fuckbuds who mostly want me to fuck them WHY DO I NEED TO EXPAND THIS TO THE FULL SPECTRUM ahhhhhhhhhhhh I am just a LOVE MACHINE
 
*deep breaths* I'm not going to text him, he'll text me. And I know he will. It happens at inopportune moments and he does it to taunt me with his sadness. Remain happy. Keep eating. Eat more. Yes the calories, let the calories satiate your starving body..... eat ... it's ok to eat

basically the sex is free but you have to buy me at least $7 in food because I'M JUST A LOVE MACHINE and baby that burns a lot of calories too OOH YEAH

and a bar of soap wouldn't hurt I'm totally out of soap this manho gotta go buy soap lol

HEHUEHEUEHUEHUE I get a real kick outta my life sometimes

I Just ate like way too much it's gross and I'm about to eat soup because maybe the salt will shut my system off in a way


I'M JUST A LURVE MACHINE

and I don't work but nobody but borkBORKBORK
 
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dancing is really flirting for plebes but yeah I'll do that too sometimes you gotta strut your shit and show your shit off

all men have an inner peacock, an inner bear, an inner otter and an inner cub. gay101

best college ever imhe

all men are gay gay102
all men think about sucking a d even if they never try it gay103
only the insecure bois won't strut their stuff off in front of other guys in public gay104

i'm so close to a degree
 
That's weird those all seem like freshman level courses...

Is that bc by the time Papi 404 rolls around we are just old hags or what? I
 
That's weird those all seem like freshman level courses...

Is that bc by the time Papi 404 rolls around we are just old hags or what? I
eventually you rotate back to the wimmens in a weird way like you grow back into the pussy
I'm not that old yet don't ask me yet
I'll figure it out in due time I am studying the homomatingrituals of the bisexual raver brahs and I'm beginning to understand some shit I think

Every bro will go for a bj if they're on the right drugs gay105
 
It doesn't hurt to have your refrigerator more full of beer (or entirely full of beer) as opposed to food because you can always do something bro-like ordering a pizza instead of cooking for them gay107

let's review
"Want a beer bro?" If they're a real bro they're going to drink the whole beer and crush a few more. Manly as fuck.
If they on other drugs and are minmaxing their results they'll maybe half half/the whole thing tops and not ask for another. Can be manly as fuck. 10/10 would still fuck.
Declines = maybe has to drive, has a wife at home. Maybe would fuck, do some more exploration of this bro first. Maybe not manly. Maybe manly as fuck.
"What kind of beer you got?" Bro as fuck. 10/10 will fuck. Mostly manly as fuck. This is what your Cpt. normally says, if not the UNDERLINED.
 
If they still feeling apprehension you just offer a back massage and put on some straight porn and see where it goes gay106
"Alright but I have this knot here," = hot as fuck keep massaging.
"Thanks bro but it'll just distract me let me get in my zone *SUPERFAPS* = hot as fuck let it commence and stay out of the splash zone
DO NOT make eye contact immediately afterwards they want you to enjoy the show not their UHMM face. Except I don't care what you're staring at baby I'm into it.
IF THEY GUIDE THEIR HANDS LOWER they may really need some affection let the hands take you the way.
If they're not into it just sit back and jerk your shit like a bro.
 
gay108 URINAL ETTIQUETTE

There are no rules here. This is a zone of anarchy. Pansexualraverbros like cpt. are probably shooting drugs into their femoral veins or thigh muscles. If you stare at their BBC let it happen but focus on pissing and don't get distracted. Straight bros are more likely to peek; you're just sizing each other up. It's what primates do. EWW because yall are BREEDERS gross. Keep that breeder shit to the suburban areas where I don't live ok thx <3
If it's a troft urinal don't cross streams. This isn't the time for that inprivatebroshit.
If you're showing off at the urinal bonus points, but I'm not looking. I already get enough cocks in my face as it is.
 
That's it for your freshman level introtohomos BORKers, I know some y'all straight ppl who just be loving that vagina wonder about the wildwildworld of homosexuals dot org so there you have it doggos keep borking at the angels in heaven for me

They yelled at me for not making this an open to women course so I must add in gay101

if he ain't lettin you see his phone it's some drug or homo shit on there and might be both do you really have to know everything about your partner i mean why don't you experiment lesbian shit is hot if that's what holing while watching the wrong ferarri ever did for me that's what. get it on with another girl everyone's doing it it's hot.
gay102 there are straight women and there are lesbians. and there are the women who tried it once just to know what it's like no one will judge you youre loved <3 i'm sure you liked it a little or maybe not at all but you have to try ice cream to know if you like it right <3
gay103 every woman watches oitnb even if they are abhorred by the lesbian scenes
gay104 only insecure women won't strut around naked around other women ya'll just girls i don't wanna see that shit but enjoy ladies
lesbian105 there are only two types of lesbians: lipstick and butch. know your inner/outer self accordingly
lesbian106 yes you still want to be my friend and yeah we would get to new heights together because the innerhomoworld is very unique and we know all the tricks up our sleeves I MISS YOU SKILLS4THRILLZ, SHOOTING DOPE IN HEAVEN HUN? i HOPE <3
lesbian107 if you were my friend skillz4thrillz in the past life you're shooting dope in heaven right now <3 I miss you hun
lesbian108 there's some cool bars in vegas where the drinks are allyoucandrink liquorbust style and the pool is free...
 
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That's weird those all seem like freshman level courses...

Is that bc by the time Papi 404 rolls around we are just old hags or what? I
I honestly don't know where I'm taking this creative writing piece but I must say it took on a life of its own and I am quite proud of it. MAL was right to trust the ABYSS in LUCIFER's hands HAIL SATAN



BORDERLINEMOODSWINGS
 
oh fuck me I'm so mad at myself I have shit to do in an hour I want to blow out my brains with drugs but there's none to be had

i guess this is what the beer in my fridge is for

i guess we're onto gay201 ummm I have to think about what that would be
how to be a gaybro in a straightbro world and dealing with the brofeelings
let me type this one up carefully because I'll laugh and shriek like a monkey and cry writing it up
WE REALLY NEED A GUEST SPEAKER MALEVOLENT because he's better at this subject than I am I have bigbro feelings for being a manly fuckmachine
he is better at guarding his precious madeofgold heart <3 I am too vulnerable and borderline BURNALLTHEBRIDGES and revert to bipolar swings when my ptsd is seemingly altered through a 50+ day drug binge (YES VERY PROUD OF MY ACCOMPLISHMENT and I hope to neverstoptheMADNESS)
 
Contrary to popular opinion you should just fuck whenever and whomever you want. It's preferable if you're doing the fucking and your feelings will subside when you realize drugs are really cool it's just time to change the protocol.

Altering from psychedelics and downers is really cool and should be done with care and avoid doing both it can lead to far out consequences.



listen to a lot of depressive suicidal dark metal hate your life and be a burzumbro
be an ancap at heart and worship the void
eventually you won't love him anymore and you'll love yourself again
remember voidworshipping with noise and power electronics music is quite important
be more manly than he is
outbro him it's part of the gayme
Preferably listen to my power electronics and noise music because it's the most self-voiding music you'll ever listen to
being into techno/industrial/electronic music is cool too
don't be lame with country/western/rap but if you're madness WRITING ORIGINAL RAP music and not pretending to be slim shady = BONUS POINTS. Erich is the definition of lame poseur goth emineim wanna be hybrid and I wouldn't trust him with my Monster drinks.
the key to fitting into the heterobro world is hanging out with bros who like watching sports and observing for bronutflexing behaviors and seeing who likes to get fucked up this is a good sign they are willing to explore always be one of the most fucked up bros enabling others and you'll find your way
you have to try to fit into society so do your role and act manly doing it. Freeball around the bros that shit doesn't matter you're hanging out with the bros. Cheerlead bros onto getting laid and be there for them when the bitch breaks his heart which she will. LESBIAN102 note that's when YOU need to swoop in and take her toxicity out of our manlybrolove world ok ladies
Yes he has a car Yes he has a job Yes he will get you food and drugs Yes you will fool around with him just do it don't ask questions get moneyfooddrugs into you you need it brah
By outbroing him naturally with natural testosterone level you will appeal to his innerbro self. Bedroom activity will be engineered by testosterone levels normally and it's pretty brotastic. But if you're the one with the moneydrugsfuckpad it can normally score you more bj's. Play your cards accordingly and don't be afraid to set boundaries. But normally giving a bj didn't hurt anyone.
Yes you will touch dicks/rub dicks that's just hot shit. Let it happen.
Let's review get ready for your quizzes lol
nah I think ya'll pretty much either brostand or you don't at this point doggos.
oh and also I Forgot the further you get to coast/beaches the more homo you get The closer to the highways, the suburban innre America it's going to be a world of hurt for being a homobro so MOVE TO THE BEACHES or as close as you get. Make friends and ride the homotrain to where you're more accepted. BROPOINTS FOR HETEROS because there's an abundance of unfucked pussy here, single moms and women who are full of life and curves who need that lovin. THEY CAN NORMALLY SUPPORT YOU BECAUSE THEY TAKE PITY ON THE POORHETEROS in ways that inneramerica won't. BROPOINTS
bropoints don't be afraid to flirt with other bros in public sometimes the flirtation is part of a heterobro world. You wouldn't know this if you're not a bro.
every bro wants a back massage and if your dick/balls aren't touching their ass they'll be alright with it, this is your ticket to enjoy the sensation and get on top of them bropoints for gravity working to your assist. feeling a man's hands on you isn't gay it's just a massage
metalmusic is also very manly and you can substitute this for noise/techno/electronic music selections because it is just awesome alright don't listen to me just go to a metal show it's a huge sausage fest and i mean huge figuratively and literally about the sausage in quantity and quality
 
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the older a man is the more likely he is to bottom just an observation and i have no qualification for this because i'm not necessarily aiming for an age bracket but I am looking to fuck

i think that ties up gay201. and yes you're always down to trip face, get drunk and use downers. No you're not always into stimulants and if you are you want to be alone so you can get shit done and mindwheel by yourself. Yes you will help them do that shit so it helps them like sucking your d more.

No quiz needed ya'll will pass with flying colors I'm sure

MAL's rules apply and you may be quizzed on this; he summed this up in an earlier post and I remember 2/3rds of them THIS IS STILL FAILURE all THREE are vital to a healthy heart and mind.

Oh and the 3rd is don't let him cling on like cling wrap gotta know when to kick him out the door.
If you ain't gettin over him you're getting under him.
And ummm
Don't be his friend I DISAGREE WITH THIS ONE you should totally be his friend this helps him want to do more stuff w/ you. Bromantics 101.
 
on my 3rd beer and took BEER milligrams of ____'s sexy cousin. hypnotic. going to BORK out hard. FOUR milligrams is a lot for this compoud and it's sexy. I'm going to feel good listening to black metal loudly passing out to it and hopefully never waking up.

LISTEN: DON'T JUDGE ME. You try being me for a fucking day. This shit isn't easy and I'm not going anywhere I'm going to be stuck in this brah's body for a while so I'mma ride this shit out.

Oh video games helps show you're willing to have a good time and it gives you chances to slyly check each other out. Wear basketball shorts and a sports Tshirt. It doesn't matter if your shit matches. BROPOINTS for noticing someone is more fashion concerned when it does. It doesn't necessarily mean that but it can.

Shit slows down when you hit Gay201 because it kind of like, the information thickens, man. I want MAL to take over for GAY202 and maybe WOLF will be doing gay301.
 
i really liked teaching ur guys first year and first second year semester of gayU i hope mal takes over because i'm gonna start feeling all sorts of hypnoticbenzos in my system I would legit cry looking @ them without doing them now and I was a very brave big boy for doing all my soulmedicine and then facing reality without anything but cannabis tomorrow.
 
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