💀 The Abyss 💀 (Open 24hrs)

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i must escape all my fears

part of my fears include dolphins anyone who can count to ten

part of my fears are that i'll have to live as everyone else and I'm so very much disgusted with the concept of having a normal human mind. an ego. a life that contributes to society. I do hope I can destroy myself and existence forever but it is illogical and impossible. nirvana is the greatest lie in buddhism and I reject that too. i reject all of life but life is very long and traps me in its grasp. Dying is a trap. I am stuck in the web of death.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
hylight send fudge

i'm gonna be FUCKED this month :(

Still planning on killing myself but, honestly, I'm pretty baked now and that took care of the mild anxiety. I can't even tell yall how long it's been without benzos. I got sleep last night.

Oh my god. I get it. As I sit here and intrusive thoughts return I remember the great not-me and how I have to escape to it as soon as I can. I don't wish to be me anymore. The self is just a macro-illusion and I'm tired of playing life support system on an insufferable class clown. Maybe I can still off myself in style while life is still decent. Maybe I get over this hump. I don't really care. It's not going well and I can't deal with anything. My brain is shit. It hurts. I can't do anything. I'm totally disabled by mental disorders and I didn't get it at first how terribly bad my mind is. Such a beautiful thing like a new phone screen shattering in front of you would daze and confuse anyone and it'll take time to realize how broken you are. I am broken. I am incomplete.

I understood this about 4 to 6 months ago when my mind was snapping and I had eaten a solid mushroom dose for the first time in like 9 years. It's all snapping and coming picture clear now. Wow. You can run on a long time. Life is very long. But why bother?

Death comes in a moment. I must escape all my fears. I'm not in love. I'm in pain. I'm not in love, I'm just in pain. I know I'm not in love, this is just an expression of pain. An expression of my death. Each thing I show you is a piece of my death. Life is suffering and death is no escape. I have died countless times. RIP CH
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U heard the saying that suicide is permanent solution to a temporary problem?
 
Soso78 said:
U heard the saying that suicide is permanent solution to a temporary problem?
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I'm not going to live forever. Overpopulation is not a temporary problem. Mortality is not a temporary problem. Everything is impermanent. Nothing will exist forever. It is illogical to drag things out to an end.

Soso78 said:
No mate, u need to face to them.
Unless u fear spiders in which case u should deffo escape it
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I don't fear mortality and am looking forward to escaping my life forever. I don't see why I should have to live as this shell of a human being forever.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I'm not going to live forever. Overpopulation is not a temporary problem. Mortality is not a temporary problem. Everything is impermanent. Nothing will exist forever. It is illogical to drag things out to an end.


I don't fear mortality and am looking forward to escaping my life forever. I don't see why I should have to live as this shell of a human being forever.
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Just think, if you stopped skipping leg day your shell could be bigger!
 
Def don't do what bro in law did and start a bbq in ur room
 
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DopeM said:
Just think, if you stopped skipping leg day your shell could be bigger!
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lol

ok dopem you made me laugh bro i like you a lot <3

thank you for trying bro

what a fucking terrible day. I'm crying really hard because someone I love is suffering a lot and it's kind of...warping my sense of fairness and justice in the world and only makes me want to die harder and somehow is really making me unable to do anything but cry a lot.

Soso78 said:
Will prob die wishing u hadn’t done it
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I'll probably die wishing I hadn't been born man.

And no I won't be cutting myself. That's for the plebes. That's a black metal band.

I have several ways I am planning on exiting the world.

I'm beyond upset like this isn't me this isn't what I was a mere day or so ago.

DopeM said:
Just think, if you stopped skipping leg day your shell could be bigger!
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tbph I think this might be SIGNATURE WORTHY MATERIAL

fuck dopeM you got me bipolar crying and laughing

thank you dopem you may have saved my mood for like, the entire day and that would include sex and drugs.
Thank you.

<3

That was like A+ humor right there.

AHHH it might be ok. I just can't stand hearing about loved ones sick and dying it's fucking warping my sense of well being really hard.
 
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I had a large buffalo chicken for lunch. The chicken was busting out. I made such a mess and IIRC some bitch was laughing at it but i didn't even wipe my face til the shit was killed.

:cool:

Get off my dick.

🔫
 
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