LillyF40
Bluelighter
Thanks for sharing Lilly. I'm glad to hear you're on maintenance now and are in control. It's the greatest feeling ever to abstain for a long period of time and know you're better off for doing so. Did you ever have any complications from subcutaneous injections?
Hi Captain Heroin..Sorry it took so long to get back to you..Yes, it is the best feeling in the world not to have to be a slave to a drug anymore. I know a lot of people think methadone is another drug, but hey, for me, it was methadone or certain death. At least with methadone, I only think about it when I go in on Fridays, and in fact I have forgotton to take my dose on a few occastions. I guess I am pretty lucky about complications because I have had a few abcesses drained, but thankfully no long term harm was done except for scaring which I can live with. Most of my friends wern't that lucky..I acually have a friend who takes a needle and drains her own abcesses, I can't understand why she just won't go to the ER, because of this flesh eating diease and wound botsulism, but all I can do is hope that nothing bad happens to her. To me methadone isn't liquid handcuffs, I have traveled all over the US and all I have to do is ask for extra take homes, and I carry a letter to the airport and I have never been given any trouble. My husband and I want to go to the Cabo in a year or two, and I have to find out about the laws there, but hey, I would rather be on methadone and have to go to Florida instead of killing myself with dope. I just hope by my sharing that even one person will decide not to fix ever..My God, I never knew the nightmare started that one day that I decided to stick out my arm and say "I want to do it this way" The agony after the extasy... Non of us ever think we will get hooked, but Hell, I was an opiate addict long before I ever slammed..I am one of the strange ones, I went straight from dihydrocodeine to heroin. I have never even seen a diladud, or an 80mg oxy..Of course being 54 years old, there wasn't a lot of stuff like today. I never even took a vicodin until I had dental work done in 1995. that is what started my relapse 10 5/500 vicodins from the dentist, then Kaiser, then the inernet and less than 6 months later I was off and running...I don't know what would happen if I ever got off of methadone, I imagine it would be like all of the rest of the times. This time for the first time in my addiction, I have no desire and it even sickens me to think of black tar, the smell, the pain and the destruction..But I truly believe I can't live a normal happy life without opiates, and I only say this because I have tried over and over again..12 steps, just quitting, and I always had an empty feeling, even when I had years cllean, I craved heroin.. I am sorry I went on and on, I just felt like I had to say some of these things so people know what it is like. A lot of religious people used to tell me NA is a cult and I was going to go to Hell because of it, and my answer is and still is, I have already been to Hell and I am back, I am no longer afraid. I do have to be honest however, if someone said "Hey you want a red" I probably wouldn't be able to say no.. I am no angel......

LillyF40%)