• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Recovery ⫸⫸ THE RECOVERY THREAD 2020 ⫷⫷

Status
Not open for further replies.
Hylight said:
wow. i don't think i am ever going to get better again.
i don't like agony and the universe right now.
and i tapered down to nothing but something i need more. ☹
i will try to trip on some kratom like once a year,
to see if it will help but i doubt it.
depression is just awful. sun helps and a diet coke.
i just hope the air is safe and the sun doesn't have too much radiation in it. hey ?
loooool
<3 anyway, it's nice to be around others that want to and care.
Click to expand...
diet coke can make your brain worse I would avoid the diet coke

the artificial sweetener in it is toxic
 
Captain.Heroin said:
diet coke can make your brain worse I would avoid the diet coke

the artificial sweetener in it is toxic
Click to expand...
i know. and it probably causes brain tumors.

it just helped me feel better through the ween of opioid but as long as i am on opioid i eat healthy and i dont need to give up give up one addiction for another so-to-speak.

maybe the toxins just took over so badly
that it is tough to tell where the pain and lethargy is being caused from.

it am sure that diet coke is more damaging than smoking marijuana for an entire lifetime could ever be.

still so bummed, with just so much hope. 😁.
 
Hylight said:
i know. and it probably causes brain tumors.

it just helped me feel better through the ween of opioid but as long as i am on opioid i eat healthy and i dont need to give up give up one addiction for another so-to-speak.

maybe the toxins just took over so badly
that it is tough to tell where the pain and lethargy is being caused from.

it am sure that diet coke is more damaging than smoking marijuana for an entire lifetime could ever be.

still so bummed, with just so much hope. 😁.
Click to expand...
Hylight said:
i know. and it probably causes brain tumors.

it just helped me feel better through the ween of opioid but as long as i am on opioid i eat healthy and i dont need to give up give up one addiction for another so-to-speak.

maybe the toxins just took over so badly
that it is tough to tell where the pain and lethargy is being caused from.

it am sure that diet coke is more damaging than smoking marijuana for an entire lifetime could ever be.

still so bummed, with just so much hope. 😁.
Click to expand...
I totally get that. And hey you can still drink a dozen or more diet cokes a day and still be an evil mastermind that can manipulate the stock market to an insane degree for personal profit. *shrugs*
 
see. i guess i should mention that i dgaf
and SHOULD and NEED to be able to, to pay attention ! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭
👽
. . . . . . AND I'M GOING TO BE FINE !???

I will <3
 
Hylight said:
see. i guess i should mention that i dgaf
and SHOULD and NEED to be able to, to pay attention ! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭
👽
. . . . . . AND I'M GOING TO BE FINE !???

I will <3
Click to expand...
You will be you have a strong soul in a GOOD way <3

Believe in yourself you are worth it
 
I am so terrified of withdrawling.
And the necessary medicine of choice withdrawal mental awarness part pretty much killed me.
I was already doomed anyway, because I am just doomey.

I am actually better at getting used to the pain now, even the metal hurt. It's just going through allot of pain though. Allot.

I can walk,
i have a bit of physical weakness too,
but mostly I am walking around 90 to 95 perrcent of the time with constant nausea.

I believe that I will get better some day and the edibles will help. Somehow.

And why wouldn't someone be in that state
and brokenness.
I pray for everything to be better so that it
doesn't have to be worse.
 
i was weak, i ate sugar and drank diet coke and did everything wrong today.
my brain is probably just going to be a tumor at this point.
stay healthy everyone and keep your imune sytsem strong.
collective support can be help in advancing towards progressives.
 
Hey guys. What's up? Still clean from opiates but I jammed on a lil phenibut for my birthday and then the next day I took 8-10mg of klonopin and while my girlie friend and I were at the store my girl thought somebody stole her wallet and the people across the street were going to help me identify the guy who did it but instead they robbed me $40 and spiked my drink with meth. I know this because I started tweaking really bad and the intake test showed meth. In a paranoid twak I called the cops and they arrested me for a probation violation in another county....lol

Wound up seizing in jail and they shot me up with ativan. I blacked out and then they put me on a librium taper for some reason. I was blacked out for several days and almost got in several fights while running my mouth.

The DA in the other county wanted to transport me so it looked like I was stuck in jail indefinitely, while meanwhile the corona situation intensified. They shut down another pod for intake quarantine and moved all the old people into our pods which meant we had 4 people in each of the 31 15x7 cells of our pod for a total of 124 inmates in my section. Everyone was starting to get sick in the entire pod while they lied to us about corona measures, while giving out no official test or medical. Tensions were boiling over. My lawyer was able to pull some strings and get me released on my own recognizance or else I would still be in that hell hole. Basically all court and due process is suspended until Corona scares pass and people are left to rot 1 on top of the sick other in jail for the foreseeable future. What a country.

I talked to my girl a few days later and she said she found her wallet at the end of the driveway....lol Fuck benzos

On the plus side because of Corona I got payed for 2 weeks of jail because of my restaurant shutdown pay and I have 3 months with little to no opiate use or hard drugs.
 
Last edited:
when you fall down
by accident
you get back up
to live again. 👍🏽♡

Miracles Happen
When
You Believe.

Magic happens when you don't give up,
eventhough you want to.
The universe always falls in love
with a stubborn heart.
 
Hylight said:
I pray for everything to be better so that it
doesn't have to be worse.
Click to expand...
<3

Keep your faith. I'm sending positive vibes because I'm an atheist but respect faith etc when it guides people toward acceptance and happiness in their lives <3

Sometimes being at the universe's mercy is part of being a humble, down to earth person. You're great just the way you are hun.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
<3

Keep your faith. I'm sending positive vibes because I'm an atheist but respect faith etc when it guides people toward acceptance and happiness in their lives <3

Sometimes being at the universe's mercy is part of being a humble, down to earth person. You're great just the way you are hun.
Click to expand...
Dear Universe,
Thank you for allowing kind
souls to cross my path.

I am thankful for those who
inspire me !
 
somnilicious said:
Hey guys. What's up? Still clean from opiates but I jammed on a lil phenibut for my birthday and then the next day I took 8-10mg of klonopin and while my girlie friend and I were at the store my girl thought somebody stole her wallet and the people across the street were going to help me identify the guy who did it but instead they robbed me $40 and spiked my drink with meth. I know this because I started tweaking really bad and the intake test showed meth. In a paranoid twak I called the cops and they arrested me for a probation violation in another county....lol

Wound up seizing in jail and they shot me up with ativan. I blacked out and then they put me on a librium taper for some reason. I was blacked out for several days and almost got in several fights while running my mouth.

The DA in the other county wanted to transport me so it looked like I was stuck in jail indefinitely, while meanwhile the corona situation intensified. They shut down another pod for intake quarantine and moved all the old people into our pods which meant we had 4 people in each of the 31 15x7 cells of our pod for a total of 124 inmates in my section. Everyone was starting to get sick in the entire pod while they lied to us about corona measures, while giving out no official test or medical. Tensions were boiling over. My lawyer was able to pull some strings and get me released on my own recognizance or else I would still be in that hell hole. Basically all court and due process is suspended until Corona scares pass and people are left to rot 1 on top of the sick other in jail for the foreseeable future. What a country.

I talked to my girl a few days later and she said she found her wallet at the end of the driveway....lol Fuck benzos

On the plus side because of Corona I got payed for 2 weeks of jail because of my restaurant shutdown pay and I have 3 months with little to no opiate use or hard drugs.
Click to expand...

Oh my god, all that then she finds the wallet. That's messed up but also a little hilarious, no? Are you going to try stop the benzos? I find they're almost unique in their capacity to make me do crazy & stupid shit - I'm surprised you didn't relapse on H. When I'm on benzos, all my inhibitions go out the window and I will start looking for crack and H. I've done phenibut but never really seen what the big deal was - I found it to be like a weird "muted" version of benzos and couldn't see what people enjoyed in them. One time I was taking handfuls of phenibut pills to try to get through H withdrawal, but when they kicked in decided to score, so I got some H, made a hit and took my shot. Literally the last thing I remember was the H rush kicking in then waking up 6 hours later. It wasn't a large dose at all and the H wasn't even that good, but the mix of H and phenibut just sent me totally out.

Anyway, why the hell did they spike you with meth? That's so bizarre. If you're trying to roll someone and they're fucked up on downers why would you give them an upper? Crazy. How are you now? And at least you were let out of jail - many people are stuck in cells while an epidemic rages, and you know in that kind of environment it would be almost impossible to avoid catching it.
 
Hylight said:
Dear Universe,
Thank you for allowing kind
souls to cross my path.

I am thankful for those who
inspire me !
Click to expand...
Stay strong hun.

Right now my sick brain is (...happily...) thinking of an elaborate way to engineer a suicide.

I'm just very self-hating at the moment... it'll pass.
 
fuuuuck somni! glad you're out man. shit. argh benzos fuck you up something rotten. i used to do shit like that. got lost outside the door to my flat once.

urgh i hope you didn't catch that nasty shit while in jail. probably take it easy on the phenibut yeah?
 
Hylight said:
I am trying to be the change and move forward.
All seems so difficult where everything is so unprecedented .
Click to expand...
same

self-hating still

thinking of terrible shit. the isolation is not good for my mental health.

trying to stay busy to stay better minded than idly waiting for the world to fix itself (it's not going to...)
 
omg. it's the rapture.
med buds and dabs.
thank you jesus.

i am trying to be alright
as well.

Value life, choose respect and compassion.
Be thankful for harm reduction. ♡

Please stay well !
 
I hate the way it hurts to stop.

I really do.

Thank you for believing.

Help me listen, help me hear
Help me heal without fear
Bring me wisdom's loving light
To wisely use my gifts and sight

I humbly call upon my guides
Walk with me the changing tides
Teach me how to be my best
What doesn't serve I lay to rest
-the Higher Self Spell
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top