Cocaine doing coke alone

[jessepinkman779]

I researched the original coca cola formula, and both that formulation of 9mg cocaine per glass and the way the natives in bolivia, peru, columbia, and ecuador consume the leaves actually provides a really nice little lift.

it's like a tiny line. Most lines are 25mg or more - I used to do 50mg lines sometimes and I have seen people snort 1/10th of a gram in one big hoot - bam!

Anyway, I got some cocaine nose spray 3 months ago and found that it was a bit too strong at 15mg per spray when I took two sprays - one in each nose - actually it was lovely,
but for an old guy like me I felt it was really a bit too strong: I got jumpy - especially when I repeated it an hour later.

So I diluted my spray to half strength, and have been doing 8 mg cocaine sprays a few times daily for the last 3 months, going through a total of 2 grams in 12 weeks or 1 gram in 6 weeks.

right now I am 2 days off, and my supply wont be replenished for another week, yet there is no withdrawal, although I miss that electric cool feeling in my nose and numbed teeth.

Perhaps that is micro-dosing in terms of cocaine, but if it is not escalating, I think it is sustainable, and not more expensive than my other allergy nose spray which I stopped using for 3 months.

Cocaine spray? I'd never er heard of it thank you. It sounds very promising.

Just an fyi: I'm not buying this sinus infection being caused from snorting coke, then spreading to my eye. I think they're just picking the low hanging fruit: Oh, you do coke, must be that then' my dealer said it happened to an old associate of his though but on both sides of his face and both eyes. I have had a few nose bleeds recently so who knows. I'm not looking forward to eye surgery if it comes to that All my friends and family are loving this: haha we told you coke would mess you up at some point but you wouldn't listen.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

Cocaine spray? I'd never er heard of it thank you. It sounds very promising.

Just an fyi: I'm not buying this sinus infection being caused from snorting coke, then spreading to my eye. I think they're just picking the low hanging fruit: Oh, you do coke, must be that then' my dealer said it happened to an old associate of his though but on both sides of his face and both eyes. I have had a few nose bleeds recently so who knows. I'm not looking forward to eye surgery if it comes to that All my friends and family are loving this: haha we told you coke would mess you up at some point but you wouldn't listen.

you're in denial, it's painful to read

of course it's caused by the coke - there's no way you're getting away with your levels of use without serious consequences

 

[jessepinkman779]

you're in denial, it's painful to read

of course it's caused by the coke - there's no way you're getting away with your levels of use without serious consequences

I think I needed to read that. I always thought it would be a heart attack first I never expected this sinus and eye infection to the point I may be having eye surgery. My dealer took one look at me and said I've seen that once before. He still sold to me but I'm a grown man.

Thank you for your reply. Fingers crossed the IV antibiotics and steroids work. They're taking regular images of the back of my eye to monitor for bleeding they seem especially concerned about that. I am diabetic too though so that won't help in this situation. I know I've been asking for trouble for a while now but I honestly did see this particular issue coming.

 

[pupnik]

oddly after 12 weeks of moderate coke use with the nasal spray (at 8mg per spray) I have zero nose problems which I used to get from snorting finely chopped powder.
could be the low dose, or the fact that distilled water makes the coke absorb nicely without burning tissue.

 

[jessepinkman779]

oddly after 12 weeks of moderate coke use with the nasal spray (at 8mg per spray) I have zero nose problems which I used to get from snorting finely chopped powder.
could be the low dose, or the fact that distilled water makes the coke absorb nicely without burning tissue.

I need to get some of this spray it sounds like a godsend. I think it would suit me too, small doses but enough to lift me up a bit.

 

[jessepinkman779]

Just a quick update. Definte bleeding behind my right eye and pressure that needs reliving. So eye surgery today (Saturday) All because I'm a greedy fucker on coke. Time for a long, hard think now. The consultant said there's still no guarantee my vision will return to normal it's just a wait and see thing. It's only blurred vision which I'm optimistic about once I've had surgery and time to recover. I knew something bad was going to happen at some point, but like I said above I expected a heart attack I never even knew this condition existed. As regards the small hole in my septum I've opted to not have that operated on from what I've read many holes open back up again even after surgery. Oh well,I played russian roulette and finally got a bullet. I'll see you all on the other side of this fucking ordeal. Who knows it might be so fucking terrifying that I really do stop for good.

 

[pupnik]

I need to get some of this spray it sounds like a godsend. I think it would suit me too, small doses but enough to lift me up a bit.

after I used up my first gram in the spray, I ordered a second gram and used the same bottle, I am mixing powder with distilled water, and that is working very well, and no nose problems.

 

[streaM Freak]

Hm. Not to make this sound like a human experiment, or something, but this is an interesting crossroads in this conversation.

First of all, I am sorry @jessepinkman779 that sounds like a major bummer. You will be okay, but you seriously need to stop insufflating drugs, seriously, you know this though which is why I bite my tounge. You'll do whatever you want, until you learn not to. Or at least, that's how I am.

So this nasal spray.. in terms of harm reduction, i don't know what to say, exactly, since everyone is different.. yes it could be a good downgrade for some. But what I hate about it is that it's an easy entry for someone naive to cocaine. It's too easy to do all the damn time for someone who doesn't yet know their limits.

 

[pupnik]

cocaine has no limits.
my personality likes to get effects from small quantities and I like to ride that, like mini-dosing lsd 20ug-50ug usually - sometimes even that feels strong.
cocaine has a different spectrum of effects but for me it sets in nicely with the low dose of 8mg, but gets stupid and feels hollow and dangerous if I push it by redosing quickly & nrepeatedly.

Making a gram last 6 weeks also feels like I got my money's worth. very satisfying.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

cocaine has no limits.
my personality likes to get effects from small quantities and I like to ride that, like mini-dosing lsd 20ug-50ug usually - sometimes even that feels strong.
cocaine has a different spectrum of effects but for me it sets in nicely with the low dose of 8mg, but gets stupid and feels hollow and dangerous if I push it by redosing quickly & nrepeatedly.

Making a gram last 6 weeks also feels like I got my money's worth. very satisfying.

The way you use coke however, well...it's a totally different ballgame, a different beast altogether compared to @jessepinkman779 s use. In fact it's beyond compare really - two extreme ends of a spectrum.

8mg occasionally compared to multiple grams over multiple days often

It's good to read your experience though for sure, but you're truly the exception to the rule

 

[Passable_rock]

@jessepinkman779 So how was the surgery? Please take this as a wake up call man. It will only get worse if you keep using, we all knew something pretty bad has got to happen at some point, and now it has. I am an addict too so I get it, I know my words probably won't do much, but I am still here to voice my voice and that's what I'm doing with it now. I don't know you, but it pains me to read the medical problems that's happening to you, and then still using coke while in the hospital

Please do better

 

[jessepinkman779]

@jessepinkman779 So how was the surgery? Please take this as a wake up call man. It will only get worse if you keep using, we all knew something pretty bad has got to happen at some point, and now it has. I am an addict too so I get it, I know my words probably won't do much, but I am still here to voice my voice and that's what I'm doing with it now. I don't know you, but it pains me to read the medical problems that's happening to you, and then still using coke while in the hospital

Please do better

Hello, thank you for your comment. I had been clean since the operation, then ordered half a gram today. The operation went well, the vision in my right eye is still blurred and patchy but only time will tell if that clears up. I've refused an operation to repair a small hole in my septum simply because I've read so many stories of that surgery failing after a few months. I'm not intending on continuing the coke, I'm just putting the half a gram today down to a bad day and I'll start my sobriety again tomorrow. The sinus and eye infection along with the bleeding behind my eye has scared me, tbh I was very lucky and I don't fancy trying my luck by using permanently again. It was a serious warning that I intend to take seriously. This afternoon I was just fed up so I ordered half a g that arrived at around 5pm. But, tomorrow I start back at day 1. The consultant at the hospital told me I was lucky this didn't spread to both eyes via my sunus's. It's bad enough having dodgy vision in one eye, but like I said: I played Russian roulette that long that I finally got the bullet. I honestly thought it would be a minor as in not fatal heart attack. I never dreamed of my eye being affected.

An aquantence of mine said instead of sniffing it just start smoking crack instead lol. I blocked his number quickly. I've blocked a few numbers and pretty much kept to myself aside from a couple of mates who only smoke weed. One of those friends said he's been waiting for a phone call saying I'm dead for a while now and to take this as a serious warning. I messaged my dealer on Facebook for my half a g earlier which he wasn't amused about. I've now deactivated my Facebook. I'd go into rehab but I know it wouldn't work I've got to beat this in my own environment, the environment I live in daily.

Hopefully the vision in my right eye returns to normal soon enough, but if it doesn't I'm still a lucky man. And let's face it it could of been much worse. I've got to see the consultant tomorrow so I'm guessing he'll know more on whether my vision will return to normal, he did say there's no guarantee before the surgery. In the UK with have the NHS free healthcare basically and I feel terrible for costing taxpayers so much money just because I wanted to get high. I'm still on antibiotics, steroids and eye drops I finish all of those on Friday. I just hope I can put this half a g down to a bad day tomorrow and move on.

 

[Passable_rock]

I've refused an operation to repair a small hole in my septum simply because I've read so many stories of that surgery failing after a few months.

Is that just anecdotal or did you talked about this with your doctor and they agreed on that risk? Either way I'm glad the operation went well and that you will take this as a kick in the butt to get sober(er)!

+1 on not smoking crack instead lol. I think you should delete all your different coke dealers number's and block them on any social media that you can.

You really gotta stay occupied, I feel that's one of the key component to sobriety. Bonus points if it's something physical. You have to find something fun to do with your time. And you're in the fortunate position of having the monetary means to start a huge wide variety of hobbies! Lots of the cool ones are pricey, and apart from actual filthy rich people ''past times'', I feel like you could pick up just about anything your mind wanders to. And then if you get tired of it after a couple weeks of it, so what? It would still be worth it and then you can think about what's your next enjoyable thing to do

I believe in you!

 

[jessepinkman779]

Is that just anecdotal or did you talked about this with your doctor and they agreed on that risk? Either way I'm glad the operation went well and that you will take this as a kick in the butt to get sober(er)!

+1 on not smoking crack instead lol. I think you should delete all your different coke dealers number's and block them on any social media that you can.

You really gotta stay occupied, I feel that's one of the key component to sobriety. Bonus points if it's something physical. You have to find something fun to do with your time. And you're in the fortunate position of having the monetary means to start a huge wide variety of hobbies! Lots of the cool ones are pricey, and apart from actual filthy rich people ''past times'', I feel like you could pick up just about anything your mind wanders to. And then if you get tired of it after a couple weeks of it, so what? It would still be worth it and then you can think about what's your next enjoyable thing to do

I believe in you!

Thank you for your kind words. I spoke to the consultant as regards my nose and he did say that it could re-open multiple times after the operation but it's still worth having the op. I decided against the op.

I stayed off the coke yesterday, then today I had a random craving and bought a baller. Because I'd deleted the dealers number I just sent to his house, which he wasn't happy about but still did it for me.i just done know how or when this is going to end for me perhaps rehab is worth a try, or moving away from my area ASAP. Only problem is I can get coke off the web delivered to my house or wherever I want it delivered to. I think I need to give my brother power of attorney over me and give him full control of my finance's. But, my dealer will front me because he knows I'm good for it. However, if my brother has control of my money I highly doubt my dealer would front me. So, maybe do the above and move away from my area, or even try rehab. Now I've started a baller on a Friday I know I won't stop until at least Sunday night. Addiction is one hell of a trap to be in isn't it. I'm taking full responsibility but once you're addicted it's very difficult to get clean. I struggle with mental health issues too and the coke seems to help a lot with the depression, although last year I did that much I went into drug induced psychosis and ended up being prescribed olanzapine which I don't take.

 

[jessepinkman779]

My dealer has refused to let me have more today he said I've had enough for 1 day. So I've gone to another one I know a few towns away. I've still got a fair bit left but I don't want to run out when everyone I know have knocked off for the night.

I've got to see my drug worker next week so I'm asking for rehab I don't think it will work, but at this point anything is worth a try. Who knows it might be just what I need. However, when I come out I can't move back to my area or anywhere close. And no ordering off the net. I do want to stop but coke just lifts my mood and helps me escape reality for a little while. I've got a few things going on in life like most people, but I just feel overwhelmed and that's why I keep relapsing. You'd think being financially secure would help me stay clean because there's lots I could do, but it just assures me that I've got constant access to it. I honestly think it's time to give my brother power of attorney and control of my money including my crypto wallet. Any crypto I'm still trading will have to be cashed in and put into my bank because only I can access that with username, password, passphrase and my fingerprint same with my crypto wallet. But, if I've still got some trading I can access it. It's clear now that I can't be trusted with money, anything of value I can sell and I definitely can't remain in, or anywhere near my hometown.

 

[jessepinkman779]

Well, I've had a shit time with my 8 ball, I just felt ashamed and guilty. It's definitely over. I thought I'd be on it all weekend, but I've honestly felt shit, and a bit scared to be honest. I haven't enjoyed it but I still finished it. The stuff was quality I just felt an overwhelming sense of guilt for what I'm putting my family and friends through and how they'd feel if the worst happened. I might just start smoking weed at night to relax and get to bed early for a while. Definitely rehab and definitely still moving out the area. But,after today/tonight I honestly don't feel so drawn to it not at the moment anyway. I really think the party is over whether I like it or not. I'm 47 TBF I'm risking heart attack or stroke at my age regardless never mind doing coke as well. I've just taken some diazepam and bupe and once they kick in I'm going to bed. The bupe is in the form of Espranor so that'll kick in rapidly I've just got to wait for the diazepam to kick in too. I've got an amazing family and a few great friends and they deserve better than what I've been doing. To be honest this 8 ball has done me a favour. Definitely time to grow up now. Terrible day and night it's been and I've paid to feel like this that's insane even to me.

 

[jessepinkman779]

Just an update: I'm now staying with my uncle which is an hour and a half drive from my hometown until I get into rehab. I've changed my phone number, closed my social media down and deleted all my dealers numbers. Last night was horrible but I'm glad it was.