I saw dxm mentioned and I gotta say I agree. I discovered dxm via my own online research instead of friends offering it, so it kinda felt like "my" drug. I felt like it helped me discover my honest self, like who I was behind my social personas. Plus I felt like a god on it and had unique euphoria, which both contributed too. I found that drug when I was 15.
At age 18 I discovered opiates (Vicodin, codeine, and Percocet). I fell in love with those too. They enabled me to express myself clearly,especially expressing love for the people I cared about. I have autism and have experienced dysphoria and social anxiety throughout childhood. And when I took opiates for the first time I felt like I was truly coming home to a safe place. I felt like how normal people feel every day. I thought to myself, "if I could get this stuff every day I would, and just deal with the consequences of addiction." And tbh years later, I am on methadone and I have noticed it helps me function socially and emotionally. I am much more functional on it compared to when I am totally clean off opiates.