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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Give myself second or third degree burns to abtain strong opiates, or H IV?

J

John15243

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 1, 2011
Messages
34
I'm sure it sounds insane and too be honest I'm sure it IS insane. But storry is I've had a medical condition(pituatary tumor) requiring me to take around 14 meds and a shot per day, and another shot every two weeks, of thes meds I take 20mgs of oxy, high doses of k pins, ambien and even concerta. Being 18 now and having it all start at 14, I'm addicted to benzos and more so, opiates. I've tried every painkiller I've been able to get my hands on, including IV heroin a couple times but quit very quickly. The problem is that I need that opiate high to get through my day. My oxy tolerance is staying at it is mostly, but its just not enough. I've been clean a few times and tried and tried before even getting addicted and it just turned out depressive and suicidal. At this point I'm desperate for a better high to get me through the day. I've been thinking about either starting up an H habit and just risking the needle taking my life from me or doing something along the lines of inflicting second or third degree burns to myself to get a FAR heaver painkill load. I don't know why I'm like this, no depression meds or anything has ever worked for me, or even helped. Any ideas please? Also try and keep the insults at a low? These are the only options I could see to get strong painkillers without spending all my money on them (besides heroin, its very cheap and easy to get my hands on here) help?
 
Yes, you really need some help. You do not want to inflict second or (heaven forbid) thrid degree burns on yourself. A burn like that is unspeakably painful, takes forever to heal, can cause massive infections that can kill you, and could require skin grafts, not to mention the scars you will carry the rest of your life. Sorry chum, but tyou need to come up with a better mousetrap than that. Please reconsider.
 
I've tried to get help many times, I've even gone as far as trying ECT for my issues. Opiates are just all there is to help my problems :l
 
Seek psychiatric help...

You don't "need" a high to get through the day... You're just addicted. We've all been there, or at least most of us have.

I felt like this at one point, although I never considered seriously hurting myself to get opiates... I was using between .5 - 1 gram heroin a day and 20+ mg of xanax daily. Put myself through detox and went on suboxone for a brief period and I am now off all that shit.

You're heading down a slippery slope my friend.
 
Please, get some more psychiatric help. Self-harm is a slippery slope, whatever the reason behind it, whether to help your emotional pain or in your case as a cry for help and a way of getting more meds. I understand that opiates make your life bearable; that is what they do, that is why (one of the reasons why) some people become hooked. So many people on this site understand that. However, chasing a better and better high to make things bearable won't work - you'll develop a tolerance to the H or the stronger opiates, and will then need something more, something higher..

I know how hard this is but you need to try to realise that chasing an opiate high is futile, and is not going to solve all your problems.. You will always need more, and it won't fill the gap in your life.. what I feel you need to do is to think about why you need the opiates. Why is it you feel you can't manage without them?

I'm sorry to hear that you've got psych help before and it hasn't helped matters, but have you tried every possible avenue? ECT doesn't "cure" everyone, some people need talking-therapies a lot more, from a skilled therapist..

Inflicting such awful physical damage to yourself really won't solve anything, I promise, and will leave you with a lot more difficulties when trying to get through the day. Please reconsider <3

I'm going to move this to The Dark Side forum - it is more suited there I think, as the problem isn't what drugs to take to make you okay, but what you can do to try to help heal yourself and find a way of getting through the days without opiates.. I hope that is okay.

Take care of yourself, please, and if you get the urge to hurt yourself then please, please get some immediate medical help or ring a trusted friend..

<3
 
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Man thats fucked you are really craving the shit. Let me explain something very fundamental to you though EVEN IF you get the opiates you want, you are NOT going to want them after only a few weeks of being on them.

Thats what we always forget as opiate addicts. You ALWAYS want a higher dose. Then when you DO get the higher dose, it feels good for a few weeks, and then you become even emotionally flatter and more physically unhealthy than you were before. Any type of opiate high plateus just way too quickly. The "high" is NEVER sustainable. It WILL go away. And then you're going to be making a thread in a couple months along the lines of:

"Ok got 3rd degree burns now and 100mg oxy a day, thinking of taking my spleen out to get 200mg oxy". Then the process will repeat till you're a skeleton aka dead.

I know you're in a rough spot bro but you have already began chosing the wrong path. You can try to fight your condition and try to be somewhat healthy in the process, or you can trade your soul like you already seem to have done to an extent and throw your whole life away. There are some people in wayy worse conditions who refuse to any meds because they believe the illness can not take their life/spirit but a drug addiction certaintly can. All they fucking have in life is their mental strength and they won't trade that for anything. It sucks to say this considering my own flaws as a human being but you really need to learn some strength and control.
 
I just want to see the look on your face when you get prescribed 20 5/500 hydrocodones or the doctor just tells you that you will be fine and just take some ibuprofen...

Seriously, this is delusional thinking and you should seek professional help.
 
jackie jones said:
I just want to see the look on your face when you get prescribed 20 5/500 hydrocodones or the doctor just tells you that you will be fine and just take some ibuprofen...

Seriously, this is delusional thinking and you should seek professional help.
Click to expand...

^ this. Burns are usually not treated with strong opioid medications. Opiates are indicated more for the deep, 'numbing' and persistent pain. Burns are more superficial and involve a sort of 'stinging' pain.

Also, I think it will be obvious to any doctor that you've done it yourself. They won't give you opiates. Or they'll give you a topical lotion and some sorbolene and have you committed to a psychiatric hospital.
 
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As a combat veteran, I can attest to the fact that even IF you were given strong opiates after burning yourself, you wouldn't get any sort of high or relief from them.

The brain & adrenaline glands dump natural painkillers into the system after being grievously injured, and a normal person develops a massive tolerance for opiates until the shock & injury heals. This is why a dose of morphine which would normally cause serious sedation & respiratory distress in a healthy person, can be tolerated & provide only analgesia to one suffering from a traumatic injury.
This is also why our combat medics are so careful about keeping track of how much morphine is given to a trauma patient, as the threshold between analgesia & unconsciousness/overdose becomes incredibly narrow.... especially for a patient already on narcotic painkillers. As soon as the body heals & it's natural resistance to opiates drops, the dose which provided a little relief while injured will become a very dangerous one indeed.

That you have a physical problem with your brain's architecture, and are already on a plethora of other medications certainly complicates the issue, but seriously harming yourself to obtain & consume higher levels of narcotics is dancing with disaster.

And in the case of serious 2nd or 3rd degree burns (even on the extremities), opiates are highly contraindicated. With 3rd degree burns you'd be unlikely to feel much pain anyways, as the nerve endings are fried and you'd be in shock. Anything the depresses respiration in burn and/or patients suffering from shock is a big no-no.
 
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This whole problem stems from your inaccurate belief that you need to be high to get through the day. You don't need to be high to live, from a phsyical standpoint. Please don't burn yourself and if there's anyone in your life who really cares about you, tell him/her about what you're going through and see what suggestions he/she has to offer.
 
John15243, how are you doing? Have you thought about the advice in this thread, and maybe getting some more psych help? I hope you are okay - and I want to reiterate that if you get the urge to hurt yourself, please call someone right away - friend, family or ambulance... <3
 
You realize that it sounds completely insane, yet want to do it anyway. There's more to life than getting high, and regardless how many pills you have, you'll continually want more. Opiate addiction is a very steep slope and rather difficult to come away from unscathed.

Commit yourself to a hospital and detox.
 
If you continue to increase the dose then you will just continue needing to increase the dose further. If you're not able to maintain effects at a particular dose then you'll either need to take a break or not use them everyday so that you can experience the contrast between high/not-high.
 
i've done similar stuff. I know a couple, since divorced, who went even further to have a lifelong opioid supply. Very sick, in more ways than 1. I hope they get better.
 
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