• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

PTSD is always there even when you plug your ears and hum a little tune

C

charcoal

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 13, 2011
Messages
154
Location
Canada
Was enjoying the benzo high but the bad thing about benzos is it opens doors it really shouldn't. I have PTSD from a near death experience. I've never spoken about it to anyone, including the psychiatrist I tell absolutely everything to. He and I have an amazing relationship but I CAN'T tell him this. I have spent 20 years burying it quietly and alone and I am terrified as to what would happen if I opened that box. Not would happen, will happen.

These days are better than the past but it's still there every goddamn day. It is the only life experience I want rid of. Out of my head, never to be thought of again.
 
If you let him know, you'll feel a lot better.

Trust me, even though it seems impossible, like you might have a heart attack the second you start telling your story, but it won't happen - I promise. :)

I also have PTSD and can understand what you have gone through isn't going to be easy to talk about. <3
 
unfortunately it's not the telling part I'm concerned about......it's whether or not I am safe to go home afterwards. It would most likely end up as a cops-on-the-lawn kinda thing with an ambulance in tow. I have no emotional regulators so if something is just too upsetting I go off the deep end big time. The joke amongst friends and family is, if I deal with a stressful problem without involving emergency services, I did a damn good job.
 
charcoal said:
unfortunately it's not the telling part I'm concerned about......it's whether or not I am safe to go home afterwards. It would most likely end up as a cops-on-the-lawn kinda thing with an ambulance in tow. I have no emotional regulators so if something is just too upsetting I go off the deep end big time. The joke amongst friends and family is, if I deal with a stressful problem without involving emergency services, I did a damn good job.
Click to expand...

Well if it's something you're not sure if you'd be safe to tell, why don't you tell me?

For one, I am not in Canada, and even if I was, there is no way I could possibly locate you through anything you send/tell me.

I will be very careful in judging what you send me so that if I tell you it's in your best interest not to talk about it to your psychiatrist, I can at least give you some other ideas about other people you could talk to, or other things you could do as an alternative.
 
You should take him up on that if you can, Charcoal. Carrying all that fear by yourself can destroy you.<3
 
I did guys, thanks. :) One step forward to ridding myself of this demon. Fuck was I high last night...... :/
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top